David Wilkerson

"This God-fearing man was my first Pastor. He was also a friend and a brother in Christ as I worked with the Ministries of Times Square Church in NYC. This man that we saw week in and week out, that sometimes we "took for granted" is now with Jesus! ...When I called all of my friends telling them of this tragedy, many were just broken to tears...The earth was visited by a great man of God, and so many didn't even know it when he was here....He told the truth. He preached the truth, and he lived the truth.
I miss you already, Pastor Dave,
Your brother in Christ for eternity,

Brother George A Bieller, Jr, Delano, CA

I first heard the Gospel through him. My brother took me to Queensway Cathedral in Toronto and he was a guest speaker. I was converted to Christ that night.I am deeply grateful.
"That where I am there you may be also" (John 14)

Kevin

I am speechless... He was a Man that loved the Lord and wasn't afraid to speak the truth. I never got the opportunity to meet him but I have one of his books. I thank God for this Great Man Of God.

He is before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Love
Raul

Me and my husband both went through Teen Challenge, that is how we met. I will forever be grateful for the way he allowed God to lead him to save thousands of lives. I can't wait to see him again one day!

Megan

Because of his ministry I am no longer a heroin addict but a Pastor in San Angelo, TX reaching out to other drug addicts and lost souls! my prayers to all of Wilkerson's olive ones.

Mike Suarez

I was saddened and shocked to read this. Though Pastor Wilkerson is now with his Lord and Savior; he will be missed by many.
I was saved in the 70s and read The Vision and Cross and the Switchblade. Pastor Wilkerson made a big impact on my young Christian life. David Wilkerson was a true man of faith. His daily blog spoke to my heart and blessed me every morning. I printed out today's blog, as my Son-in-law's father, passed away this morning from cancer. I wanted to give a copy to my Son-in-law, who is not saved. David Wilkerson's words will continue to touch lives. I pray for his wife and rejoice that David Wilkerson is now home. We will see him again.

God Bless,
Shelley, Massachusetts

Wilkerson spoke at Jesus Rallies in Wichita, Kansas when I was in college. His strong convictions encouraged me in my early Christian life. I appreciate the words God gave him that helped shape my life and probably influenced me to heed the call to pastoral ministry.

Kelvin

I am just heartsick. I have received Davids newsletters and followed his ministry since the early 80's. Always right on track with his timely words and sermons. he will be greatly missed. I guess we just never know how each of us will have our home going. I am just full of shock. But at last, he is in the arms of our Father. halleluhia for the legacy David left us. May God continue to raise up mighty men of God, sensitive to the Holy Spirit and not afraid to come against the Powers of Darkness or to speak out against ungodliness that exists in the church and in the world around us. bless his wife , she has had her own battles through the years also. thanks for opening this up for us to comment CT.

Cindy Shipp

Time Square Church was my home for over 14 years. Pastor David was my Pastor and Shepherd for all of those years. I will be eternally grateful for his ministry and the love that he bestowed upon me through my early Christian years. I have a deep love for the Lord. A love that Pastor David exemplified through his preaching and sermons which I studied voraciously. He taught me the meaning of having an intimate relationship with the Lord. Love you Pastor David,
Juliette Hannibal-Bowen

this is the man that lead me to the Lord when I was 17 years old. I will see him again in heaven, I know. thank you for giving to the Lord.

Cheryl

I pray we all can learn to pray and then obey.
Jack Price

Edited & taken from http://ht.ly/4IBhl

Chris Medina did a song..."What are words"
And in the bible itself we find that...
"Life and death are in the power of the tongue"

"When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise."
Proverbs 10:19

I find it an irony that in death, we see life giving words,
yet in life, we give more death than life with our speech...

Words are important to me, always have been,
They convey to me, promises from God & man,
with one stark difference...
that God's promises have never let go of me

time immemorial

Heard the news today...
was struck by it, really...
no...not that LTK is no longer in Hougang,
neither is it that Thor is opening tmr...
Just plain, simple news...
one of a train wreck at Alishan...
the other of uncle Johnny passing away

Those earlier pieces of "news" suddenly seemed like trivialities

Also happened to hear this in bit...
that for a person, they really only begin to discover,
or maybe...really LIVE out what they are meant to at 40!
Life begins at 40...really?

I find that abit hard to believe,
& if it serves to make people feel fine about themselves,
then, i'm sorry, i think it doesn't work...

I think the moment i came to Christ in '96,
i've been on this journey...not so much of discovering,
but more of LIVING out my destiny...finding my calling...

What moved my heart? God's will for mine & the next generation...
What am i passionate about? Individuals, i wanna build deep
How do i live it out? Daily, learning, building, making less mistakes
How? Really? taking faith steps, killing fear, just taking that next step

Why'd i share all that?
Because of another statement that summarises everything...

"Some of you will not be here next year..."
A simple statement...no ill intent...
yet, i took from it a different message from what was intended
I think the Holy Spirit speaks in mysterious ways...

No one except for God knows the length or the breadth of our days,
Yet, i know that i have nothing to fear if i use each day to the fullest,
following and hearing the Master's voice...

No...I don't believe that it will lead me to do everything & burnout,
that is a blatant lie of the evil one
because i know that He has promised to lead me to green pastures,
to restore my soul,

He has promised seasons of work, seasons of rest
All that He requires is that we LISTEN, and follow...
let go of every motive, every burden...
Just trust...wait on Him...and go...when He says so...

It's wonderful to be walking in the Light,
hearing that closely and intimately...
It's something that needs to be worked at...
but He desires it so much MORE than us...='(

Loss is incomprehensible...
We often think of that in our own human terms...
just like i'm feeling it when i think of uncle Johnny...
the sense of sadness, the sudden thought...
that a familiar face is there no longer...
And i remember Uncle Thian Lye...
another awesome man...
and then another...and another...
and they just pour forth like rain...

But really...there is another level to this depth of sadness,
even as i think and miss them, these faithful warriors...
I know that I will see them again when the Lord comes again...

But i feel a deeper sadness because i know that even as i feel this,
God feels it even more about His OTHER children...
those who do not even RECOGNISE Him...
Who can fathom that kind of loss or sadness...
it's like having them within clutching distance...
yet...having them yanked out of the Rescuer's arms at the last moment...
Heart wrenching, terrible, and awesomely painful...
if it were me, i think i might go mad by that constant agony...

But there is time yet...
while it is still day...
for that we need to be faithful to follow the Master's voice,
I'm ready Lord, ears open, hands ready, legs abit weak...yet spirit willing
There is no longer anymore time to waste...

Some are missed more than others...
few are thought of often...except by those closest to them,
some are but a fleeting thought, caught for a moment, wisped away,
and others...they flash by, & we've totally forgotten...
I saw you tweet this wee lil bit today bro...
"when i'm gone, will i be remembered only for jokes & toys?"
No...my friend, no, my brother...
I remember you for...yes! surely your humour!
But i also see your teachability...how you took on change,
radical change to break things, burn things, move on...
And I know you firstly as one of my boys...
someone who is slowly finding himself,
someone that is Loved by God,
and i hope you realised you're loved by us too.
I speak for myself, I'm proud of how you've grown...really...
how your various fasts have been for the good,
how you've struggled much, & also conquered some...
you may say it's nothing to my face,
but that tells me how you're killing pride...
at least taking those steps...i really see it
& i really mean it...and you have been hurt before i know,
no need to be bold...surrender that to God...He knows...
Abandon your self to God, life is only fully lived out there
I know you bro, and i will remember you for the deeper things
those deeper things, because when I pray, I pray those deeper things.

But now, the question is useless...if it spurs us to nothing...
I'll remember you for you...
but yes, you are more than you are right now also...
and you have seen it yourself...
so...

Continue to war in prayer for the soul's of those placed in our care,
speak and give our testimony when it is time...
lead and disciple those who are ready...
cast and reflect that light of God to every place around us and afar...

Do you hear a battle cry?
A divine summons?
I think that it's something that cannot be ignored...
no...no longer...
When the war is not ended, every hand is needed at the line...
the time to rest will be later...

And just a little clip i happened to see...
I know i'm incoherent much...but...
after all in this in an overwhelming little day...phew...

http://www.godvine.com/Christian-Athlete-Takes-a-Fall-But-Still-Wins-the-Race-378.html

For the Honour & Glory...
of our Glorious Redeemer,
Jesus Christ

Familiarity

Need to post to clear my thoughts today,
been pondering about some things and thinking deep

And one such issue is familiarity...
I think the concept of it has always been real,
yet the exercise of it has not.

Let me explain in this way...
I grew up in a broken family,
so...with my father gone at an early age,
Mum had to go out to work & til very late...
thus, we had little semblence of a "normal" family,
there was no time to really do the "family" thing...
meals were rushed affairs, hardly any holidays...
play times were short but intense,
responsibility was learnt early on,
each one of us had to take care of our own keys,
wallet, money, use frugally, & buy food for ourselves.

Family...and familiarity seemed a distant concept,
one ringed by certain boundaries...
and even now, this streak of independence runs deep in us.

Yet, when i came to Christ...
I learnt what it means to be in the family of God,
and i see what it means to share everything...
to help each other out, to bless, and also to be close.

Close in the sense of knowing each other well,
really knowing each others likes/dislikes...
needs/wants...and various other quirks and all
Of course, in that...much grace had to be learnt also!

However, these days, seeing objectively...
I see also that i have my our peculiar brand of familiarity
Maybe i should just ramble on and let my own dysfunction show

I think i have something against an "assumed familiarity",
and i mean...when i see a person making himself "at home",
in the presence or in the household of another.
My peculiar dysfunction tells me that...
When someone says "make yourself at home!"
they mean it, yet also...there is a certain boundary.
I can't draw a line, but i sense that there must be a respect shown,
a courtesy of asking permission, a sense of gratitude,
all these can be shown by simple, "Thank you's", "May I..."
and other assorted displays of love in action.

Maybe this is my own thoughts & assumptions,
& maybe my sense of boundary is usually higher than most...
but i find it awkward to intrude on people,
and I cannot naturally assimilate into the home culture of others.
I feel too great a sense of gratitude, appreciation, and also...
I feel that I have to treat all things with a great amount of respect.
haha! maybe that's why i call it...my peculiar dysfunction...

And yeah, maybe i'm writing today because...
when i see this "familiarity" played out by others...
No one else seems to feel like I feel about it...
they have no problems "making themselves at home",
and taking and using stuff without conscience or even respect...
I dunno...I just simply rankle at that...
I find that i cannot take things that are not mine,
if i want to, i'll ask permission or do without...
I find that i cannot just "assume" blanket permission...
and i will still ask first, especially if i'm using other's things
Maybe my sense of boundary (yours, mine, ours, shared) is showing!

Yeah...so...am i weird or am i weird? hahaha! =P

But in saying so...
I think that i'm very comfortable with who i am...
and this little dysfunction has served me well...
so I don't think i will change it much! =)
I think i'm ole fashioned that way...
Honour & respect for others is basic for me,
and that means...even if I lose out sometimes,
giving that honour & respect for others is still a priority,
rather than just seizing any opportunity to benefit

Since i'm on this...I think yes...
i can suddenly think of how well this "dysfunction" has served me,
I realised that there have been times in the past, i've seen this...

I think sometimes, when we think we know a person well enough,
we begin to feel comfortable and we begin to act based on assumptions,
like "Oh...they won't mind lah", "He will understand", "She will do it!"...
And then, because we act based on these assumptions...
The other party gets upset, or something goes awry...then people get hurt
And it all happened because seeing things the wrong way!

Hmmm...i'm thankful that...because of my "dysfunction"...
this scenario does not happen too often in my life...
Even if i know somebody REALLY well...
Even if deep in my heart i know that they won't mind,
I STILL will ask or pre-empt a person...
I find that...to assume...really does this...
Assume, (ass-u-me)...makes an "ass" of "u" & "me"
I've written this before, but it's the most apt description really!
I try not to act on assumptions...
Yes, if people do not respond or something...
then maybe we HAVE to, but given a choice...
I find it better to take an extra step...to respect the other person.

Somehow...i can't figure out why that is difficult for others,
especially when they know it is a sensitive situation!
Why would some people rather work on the assumption...
rather than take a simple additional step?
Is it pride? Carelessness? Complacency?
I've no idea...but yeah...it happens, more often than it should

I think...there is no conclusion to this thought...
only a pure & honest rambling tonight...
Yet, i find that...at my own bedrock...
I discover that i'm really an old soul at heart...
things like honour & respect are core to me.
Courtesy and graciousness certain hallmarks!
Boundaries help me maintain credibility as a minister,
& I take additional effort to build up integrity.

Why have I done all these? & inconvenienced myself?
I think that...it's no inconvenience when done for the sake of the Cross.
As Paul said..."To do ALL things in order to save some..."
& that sometimes means taking the effort to be above reproach,
especially when dealing with the things that are not ours, but His.
Our stewardship isn't just abt resources, but also...how we live our lives!

It's interesting how simple thoughts can dig so deep! =P

heavy thoughts...

been awhile since i last blogged...

And maybe that's so...because of the things i've been considering
I still can't shake the feeling that something is not right...
and it may look systemic, and huge but i think it's also small scale...

I think that as i take a look at things...
we have gotten everything topsy turvy already...
I have a heart to disciple the generations...
because i believe what is not passed down, will be forgotten,
just like in Kings & Chronicles, where people forgot abt God

Yet, now...i get a sense that this is happening once again

It's no use having mentors and leaders,
if at the end of the day, the disciples do not step up to own their generation
It is futile & fruitless, if a generation grows old...
and the next generation does not take the lead for themselves.

My sad look at this now is that...
our generations of leaders have faltered...
thus, the generations after them are also disappearing
Is it a lost cause? Not yet...but it means this generation needs to step up

I think that we have a very misplaced sense of "Freedom"
Freedom in the real sense...
is NOT the external freedom to gratify every appetite,
it is the internal freedom NOT to be enslaved by our appetites.

Yet...we have gone about it the wrong way...
using our freedom to indulge in excesses and temptations,
therefore leading to a certain deadness of soul...
a certain ruin, within, that we feel...yet cannot grasp

I see it in the simple Sabbath principle...
How many of the people i know, take a proper sabbath?
There are those who work...and they do it everyday
& If for students, study is their work...& they do it daily
then isn't it true that NO ONE observes the Sabbath at all?

There is no day set apart as sacred or Holy unto God...
Also...we ignore that loving command to rest, to play, to enjoy, to recharge...
No wonder we suffer so badly, and then we ask God for strength...
When we fail to already do what we're told, then why ask for more?

We have been slowly killing ourselves...
and we never even notice because we have not been ready to listen...

I want to lay a challenge to everyone...
Have you had your Sabbath rest recently?
Can you even remember when you gave a day to God?

This weekend is a long weekend...apt that it is Easter weekend...
I want to strongly urge all who read this to REALLY take a sabbath...
consecrate a day to God, give it to Him as your act of worship!
Reschedule your busyness, your studies, your work...
As you set apart a day for God...
watch how He will recharge and restore you!
There is a Joy in the Sabbath rest...
that is only given to those who believe, and DO as God says.
If we can't even do it over an Easter long weekend...
something has gone tremendously and horrendously wrong.

I'm taking this from John Ortberg...
God told Abraham to take a walk, Elijah to take a nap,
He gave David a harp and a dance,
And Paul, a scroll and a pen,
He wrestled with Jacob, argued with Job,
Whispered to Elijah, gave Miriam a song,
Gideon - a fleece, Peter - a new name,
Elisah...a mantle..
He was stern with the rich, young ruler,
tender with the woman caught in adultery,
patient with His disciples,
blistering with the scribes,
gentle with children,
gracious with the thief on the cross

God is a hand-crafter...
He does His work intimately, personally...
He desires that relationship...
yet...how often, we cut Him off brusquely

The main measure of our lives is this...
are we living it with God? or without Him?

I hope that we this little post will make people stop...
& make us all consider where we're at...
And to make Jesus the priority...
especially if we have been apart from Him

Why do we treat the One we ought to Love most...like that?

"Be doers of the Word, and not merely hearers"
James 1:22

Praying today for the Spirit of God to fill us with...
Power, Love and a sound mind,
that we will no longer be conformed to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of our mind.
And honour God by offering our bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and pleasing to God so this may be our true act of Worship.

Then...may we catch a glimpse of those wonders we have been missing...
I wonder how many people saw the Lamb when Desperation Band played?

tired...really tired already...

Min...if you read this...
I write this knowing full well what you wrote on yr blog...
But i'm not handling this well, and i need to say it...

Family is such a tool God uses to sharpen us...
I'm struggling today...& i'm gonna vent it here
better here than anywhere else i can find right now

What do you do when everything seems to be tumbling?
This cycle of endless displeasure is really...terrible...

Going out for dinner yesterday was interesting...
amidst the whole family, i thought all was good & fine,
who's to know, my innocent act of buying bubble tea...
even buying bubble tea could be faulted! gosh!

Come on...you all have mobility, money & availability,
I've not been out for days, how could that possibly rile you?
but i guess when you're determined to, anything can...
I'm sorry i only got one bubble tea, but that was all i could hold

Would it have been so difficult to say it?
I would have gone back to get more if you wanted...
but you never even mentioned anything,
until you decided to pull it out today...

Today...dinner was another drama...
come on, be fair...you all gave no notice at all...
I could not change, wear my boot and do everything...
seeing how impatient you all were already,
and how you were yesterday, of course i'd say go without me...

Who knows...even that can be miscontrued...
I hear from S that you were saying terrible things about me,
how i should pay rent for staying at home,
how i should get my own place...
how i should get married...
yeah...nothing i've not heard before...
just crass to be spewing it behind a crippled man's back

It's not nice and it does nothing to help anything,
really, sometimes i wonder,
what activates the love within your heart
does anything really do so besides money?

but you don't know i came home because of you...
I know that this season is for me to reach you somehow...
I'm failing badly to judging by all these...
yet i still sense that God is saying stay...

So...eventhough i could easily move out,
and i would much rather live independently,
i'm here, stuck in the north east, lonely, sad, irritated,
but i'll stay the course because you all are worth it.

You know...i think i should be honest and just say what i need...
I'm saying here not to be a coward, but because it is safe,
neither am i talking behind your back...
these are things you will erupt at, yet things i need to get out...

Please...you have to begin acting your age...
fancy someone at your age, playing petty games...
stuff like faulting someone over a bubble tea,
refusing to buy a drink because of the same incident,
and then talking behind my back because you took offence.
Gosh...really...this is so primary school...
I wish i could be YOUR parent and teach you...
because i certainly would...

This is not the way i live...
And if you began to even understand me abit,
you would understand that...
this is why everyone finds it hard to stay home with you

I write here because frankly, i'm tired...
and i know i would explode if i talked to you...
not been like that for awhile,
but i guess i need more patience then...

How to tell you that i pray for you?
That how you treat me now isn't important, i can bear it,
just as long as I see you in eternity...

How to show you that i care?
When all you value is the ugly dollar
& it's something I dun have tons of...

How to take all this nonsense?
and yet still show you that i do it because of Love,
& not because i'm your doormat...

How to tell you the sadness i feel?
That you can be so petty over little matters,
& lose your temper when you don't get your way...

Can i tell You (God) that i doubt?
that i feel that everything i do at home is useless,
that i don't know if i can do or be all that you ask me to...="(

Can i say how hopeless i feel?
Caught in a place i don't wanna be,
yet knowing i've to do something here...

Is it ok to say that i fear?
fear that i'll walk out & just give up...
fear that instead of helping, i'm keeping mum from knowing you

Is it alright to say that i'm not alright?
But i still trust that you have it all in your hands...
& in my not-alrightness, you can still make things beautiful

Some say the walk of Faith is a flight of fancy...
I think it's more an acknowledgement of our frailty,
& the trust that we live out,
because we Love Someone more than ourselves.

I fear, doubt, feel weak & powerless...
yet...it doesn't stop me in anyway from trusting You more
This is truly...the walk of Faith isn't it?

who is He?

I think that there has been a fundamental shift...
from an other-centered, community orientedness,
to a more selfish, individualistic perspective

This has permeated deeper than just a single problem,
rooted itself in increasing complexity...
and it is pushing people into cliques and blocks

We have been split and divided,
thus making the body of Christ easier to conquer in parts,
because the previous whole was too strong

If we need more evidence, just see who's been missing...
Tim, A.G, L.C, D.G, I.O, J.J, and there are more...
All this in just the past year, but...i think we hardly notice

I'm hearing more & more about how individual opinion reigns,
i can't understand where the communication has gone,
and helping to clear the air and ease the dissent is tedious

Maybe that's why that lonely, pained night at David's...
struggling with a burden & increasingly heavy thoughts
Glad to have been able to pray through them...

I think that in noticing the shift,
a certain amount of work needs to be done...
I need help, and constant companions...

I sense a battle looming...
One that has already begun in the heavenlies,
moving now into the hearts & minds of people

Even as we pray down the walls,
it's also time to get close and knit together like minds,
talk through & help keep the burning embers together

I think the Gospel has been compromised...
If you think about it...Jesus is most relevant today,
He offers the most practical help for everyday living,
the clearest advice for our futures, our worries, our cares
He's the man who has suffered to show us a definite way,
& the road He painted was one that ALL can follow...
He only asked that we believe!

IF we believe...we trust & we follow,
and we will move by the Holy Spirit's leading.
We will see as He sees, beyond what is the current issue

Maybe we are forgetting how applicable He really is!
We have an empowering God, with a wonderful gift...
But we are just not laying hold of it daily...

How relevant is God today? Read Matt 6
How secure is our future? Jer 29:11
What should we do in obedience? Romans 12:1&2

Why do we not treat the bible as our guide to living?
But more like our last measure, a salve to soothe us,
just something there to turn to when no else helps?

If there is a reason not to be moved or shaken when the world does,
it is only because we stand on a firm foundation that is Christ
and in the promises that secure our past, present & future eternally.

There is a Hope, the promise of a strong tower in our trial
there is a life, promised & sealed by the One who gave His Life,
There is Joy, given because we live in a victory won, not a defeated life!

Here's to praying that people see & hear the rallying call in the bible,
and that we each appropriate the summons to action...
so we live out this vibrant, fulfilling & Joyful Life! =D

Thankful for Fairfield...

Chapelton was great =)

Having been there from the beginning is humbling...
I remember the days at the school Auditorium...
having 2 guests in that very first Fairfield Ignite! gosh...

And it's amazing how we have really ignited!!
Humble start of 2 guests, all youthphorians...
to now...almost a thousand I reckon this last one?
WOW...

And there was just one simple summary point for me in all of this...
the climax...when we sang the school hymn...
that should have been recorded because it sent chills down my spine!

We sang it with a spontaneous gusto,
that no teacher or event could inspire,
sung in no sweeter way than truly in worship,
and in no other manner but to bless!

I love our "live" version best
It was truly awesome...=)
But nevermind, here is the version i found...

Fairfield Methodist School Hymn
http://www.fmsp.moe.edu.sg/data/attach/95/04%20School%20Hymn.mp3

Bless this school, O Lord we pray
Make it safe by night and day
Bless these pupils, bright and gay
Keep them out of evil’s way
Bless the teachers, Lord, we ask
May they find joy in their task
Bless the clerks and servants too
May they serve Thee ever true

May we by Thee guided be
From now till eternity
Bless those who belong to Thee
May they continue to be
Ever faithful, ever kind
Letting God’s light in them shine
Bless us all that we may be
Fit, O Lord, to dwell with thee
Bless us all that we one day
May dwell, O Lord, with Thee

simple truths...

The simplest truths can also be the hardest ones

You can know someone well,
yet...whether you trust them or not,
is totally another matter

Sometimes, prior actions do not mean anything
and it feels like starting over is just the simple, sad norm...

Love that conquers all,
is so simple in talk,
yet simply difficult in action

Fall down, get up,
move on, grow up...
seems right?

NO...

We forget these...
Love means to Forgive,
It also means to deny self,
esteem others, reconcile...

Learning the right things,
means we can finally Love rightly.

Growing means...
Being hurt yet being able to forgive,
Extending forgiveness that is life-giving,
resolving hurts & conflicts...
and blessing and learning instead of...
feuding and holding on to grudges.

I much prefer a simple faith of a child,
I miss the simple, sincere eye to eye,
heart to heart connection that says more than mere words
the simple, pure hug that signifies reconciliation...
and a delight & trust of a child in the throes of Joy
WoooOOOOoooo

Trust
Love
Give

I Do...
now...do you?

you think that's trouble?

Listen close...or you just might miss it
Look intently...or you'll catch nothing
Touch softly...too hard & you might bruise it all
Taste...or you might never get to again...

Who is there when your knees go weak?
For whom does your deepest pander for?
Do you understand why some sights ignite outrage?
And why others inspire a burst of courage?

What do you hold dear and rememeber?
Scars, wounds and hurts?
Joys, ecstatic moments and sweet ones?
Does your life fully embrace both sides of the coin?

Beauty that is skin deep, isn't beauty...
True beauty emerges from within...
Rough edges and scarred knees...
are better than perfect skin, and unblemished hands

I think it's absurd that we want others to fit in...
and yet the mould we give them is an unattainable one
Why bother pretending rather than showing who we are?
And...why do we knock down those who really ARE who they are?

Extend a hand...and it gets smacked away
Lend a ear...and get an earful of nothing
Be there...and there is contempt in that look
There is no right with you...if you even see it...

In certain moments, it become clear why God gives certain gifts,
but to call longsuffering a gift is sometimes, abit of a stretch
we call it perseverence now, but the previous term is better...
it is usually used in the context of suffering...and some do it better

I always remember...Lance Armstrong...
he said that besides being an elite athlete
he had one other thing that he treasures...
the ability to suffer longer & harder than most...

Whoever said that you could stop even if you were the best?
Every climber of everest can attest to the stamina needed,
the mental strength, the inner fortitude & courage required.
If you want to conquer, you have to suffer, and expect it...

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
-- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I used to wonder...why is it that God promised rewards and crowns in the kingdom to come? Why did He seem to dangle to that in front of people? and is that really...enough to motivate people? A promise of rewards in the age to come?

Then I realised the wisdom in that...
The truth is that, since time began...
Man has been trying to better their lot
We have wasted so much to try to attain power, wealth...
Wars, deceit, lies, thievery, they happen for such simple reasons
And yet, we never learn...
Then Jesus came to turn everything upside down...

The King who came to be a servant...
in order that us...worthless slaves might become royalty
The divine exchange was one made totally apart from us
Given as a gift...meant to be treasured...
a fulfillment of prophecy, a promise for today & the future

When we hold that clearly in our thoughts...
we begin to understand how clearly blessed we are,
how even in our materially poor lives, we can be rich...
And how in our richness, we are meant to be blessings...

We are so capable of missing the point...
I am blessed...
I knew it before I got the watch...
And I know it even better now...
This was the commission that came along with it...
one that I'm clear about and ready to follow as You lead...

Go to the lost, confused people…
touch the untouchables.
You have been treated generously,
so live generously.
Matthew 10:5

I wonder...if everyone realised how blessed they have been already...
how much more generously would they live?
Or would they just hold it all back?

big fat swollen elephant leg...die...

come back...

It's been a long day at work...
have not felt so bushed mentally in awhile...

And thoughts have really been streaming in,
think i need to write a little...


I used to think that I had to feel inadequate,
but then i slowly stopped when i realised it,
and realisation brought maturity...
when i suddenly saw what was missed before

I thank you that you have personality enough for 2 people,
because when that happens, I can do what comes naturally,
sit comfortably, being my quiet introverted self,
and just think things through better & clearer


I think i much prefer being a dead man walking,
somehow that posture speaks to me of all that is right,
why should we look at ourselves as all important & mighty,
when we are but truly dust, blown away with the slightest breeze

Some speak lively words, spritely, fast-moving electric ones,
being there, talking, moving, breathing, yet...somehow flat within...
smiling outside, broken inside
Puppet with strings held by an invisible puppetmaster

Contrast? or plain paradox?
Dead man walking, yet totally alive with...
Lively, spritely exterior, yet...dead within...
You say, it's not either/or but there is a middle ground...

Really?
or only Maybe?

...to live on the edge requires one.
Radical obedience or empty disobedience

And choices are good gifts given to us. Truly...

Romans 8:6-8 (The Message)

^5-8Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.

⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
Same verse...Romans 8:6-8 (NIV)


Sorry

Meant to be said in the here & now,
so that the force of the blow,
does not extend to the future?
No, just because...
I mean it

going deeper...

I posted a thought earlier...

"Be a person, not just a personality

The difference?: A whole world

What's needed: The effort to build deep..."

And really...this thought just simply continues in so many different ways

I'll try to be coherent in just one...
Many times we take a glance at a person...
and the "first impression" we get, gives us a feel...
& what usually happens is that we judge based on the surface,
it could be looks, could be personality (funny, charming etc)
and that just makes everything seem so cotton candy sweet...
or cloyingly ugly...

But really...truly, how often have we realised...
our "first impressions" were wrong, one-dimensional, flawed?
How we could feel this person was awesome, yet...
you realise later they were just two-faced, & you saw the nice one?
I think...that happens more than we wanna admit...

That said, i'm not an advocate for "first impressions"...
I believe in taking the time to go deep and to know more,
giving people time, and looking out for things that are not obvious,
the subtle things that people do not say or do not do...
that helps me form a better understanding of someone...
because we are all complex, unique and made wonderful! =)

Now...that was the base thought, time to go on tangents! =)

1) So...knowing the above...how much of OURSELVES do we REALLY know?
Do we know ourselves as a person? or just a personality?

Like...we can easily say one thing, but our actions do another...
& when that happens, do we understand how come?

I look, and i realise that i see many who build a personality,
funny, interesting, fun, charming, nice to look at,
yet they have neglected crafting character...their principles,
When i see that, I think it's abit sad...
because they look more like actors than real persons,
playing a part, more than LIVING a life

Questions are real, doubts vocalised, that's being authentic...
But sometimes, there is a lack of strength in the soul to show that "weakness",
or...the facade seems more important than showing those flaws...
I think that's why the first lesson Jesus gave to many was...
die to SELF, crucify it, surrender it...ultimately EXCHANGE it...
He promises that we are a NEW creation in Christ...
And that means we are being re-made!

So...to this tangent...i say...
resist the temptation to merely "look good",
but trade in the ashes, and watch God turn it to true beauty
succintly, surrender & exchange self for God's wholeness!

Which leads to tangent 2)
We know the personality of God, but do we know the Person?

When we talk about God is Love, what comes to mind?
A cushy pillow, soft lighting, sweet scent, feelings of joy...
all that is good and true, yet...if we just stop there,
we stop short of know God as a person,
and He is just a romantic figure to us...

Love...God's kind, is a very personal one...
He came fully divine, yet LIMITING His divinity,
in the person of Jesus...
He ate, slept, led reluctant followers, overturned tables,
performed miracles, showed incredible tenderness,
but was also uncompromising to pharisees,
He served, washed feet, ate with sinners,
associated with lepers & outcasts (samaritans),
and that Love at the end of the day...
shed sweat drops of blood, before that long road to calvary,
to become a sacrifice lamb for us...
THAT is LOVE...the PERSON...

Don't stop short just to know the wisp of love,
when knowing the DEPTH of Love,
the intensity of His undying Love is there for us

So...for tangent 2...
Know God...REALLY know Him...
as a person, because He has revealed himself in the bible,
He is NOT hidden, but...we have sadly...not bothered to know God.
Knowing, REALLY knowing God changes our lives inside-out

I feel there's so much to say...
yet...this seems a good place to pause...
Tangent 1) talks about ourselves,
Tangent 2) about God...
I wanted to do tangent 3) about others...

but...i think the quote i started with says it well...
& tangent 3) is just a natural extension of 1) & 2)...
so...let me stop here...

I no longer desire to just feed people with answers
I hope to see this light a fire within others...
that will spur them to want to know God better,
drink of His streams deeply, and bask in that fullness, completely

Abba, help us know you better,
clearer & more intimately,
Thank You that You are not hidden,
& that the person of Jesus is for us to know
May our heart beat in tune with yours
In Jesus' Lovely name,
I dearly desire & humbly ask,
AMEN

mirror image...

There's something to be said abt being made in His likeness,
I think maybe that's why we have gifts & talents...
craft, skills, imagination and creativity...
I somehow love creating and shaping...
though the things i do always are slow and takes a long time

Maybe that's why God uses so many metaphors...
stories that tell more than just a story...
and I really love the way that the parables tumble forth!

If I were to tell a story...it would be of a farmer...
holding in his hands, precious seeds...
each seed containing the potential of countless fruit,
but so many things may happen, the seed may not sprout,
the ground may be infertile, the weather may turn...
fruit that are produced may turn bad...
and then again...some will be good, and multiply...
In it...what can the farmer do?

Plant the seed, till the land, fertilise the ground,
unweed the place, water and take care of the trees,
and when the fruits come, be ready for the harvest...
and the cycle continues...

The farmer spends his whole life in service to a seed...
and the fruit that come may never ever really be wonderful,
but the gardener stays the course and does his work,
learning lessons this season, so as to improve the next...

But of course, we never think about fruit, or food...
when it's on our plate, we take it for granted that it'll be enough,
and that it will never run out...
yet...it has taken faithful farmer to plant & harvest,
no doubt God has a plan for us...
but how many answer the call to be a humble farmer?
Most look to "nobler" ambitions, and loftier aspirations...
but crafted in the image of God...
the picture of the humble farmer, tells a story...
a story that's far deeper in significance than we first see

hey sUnshine...

Hey you sUnshine, where do you fall?
The places you do, they shine as day,
glow with warmth, and radiate! =)

But oh sUnshine, why do you hide?
Some days you come, some days you don't,
sometimes you stay, others...you won't...

Stay oh sUnshine, do u need to see a grown man beg?
Oh...would you shine, glow, send your warmth?
Or is the fickle thing, something that you have to do?

If you oh sUnshine, gave your light unabashedly,
saw the darkness that you push back, & the direction you give,
if you but understood, maybe you would do it more...

Do you oh sUnshine, do you fear?
Are you so afraid, scared, uncertain...
that you hide behind dark clouds & loud thunder

Oh dear sUnshine, instead of flashes of lightning,
the constant glow, the radiant light, that beacon...
it gives hope, grants warmth, and illuminates much more!

My dear sUnshine, give your all...always
Shine like no one else can, because...
really...no one else was made like you are made



You know, sUnshine...they say the moon...
it just reflects your light, but as i talk to the moon,
I feel just abit like i'm talking...again...to you

But dear sUnshine, the moon can't compare...
and i would much rather have you...
a cold night can't compare with a warm, sunny morning

Now dear sUnshine, before i close my eyes...
would you send a little warmth, some light, show the way
they say it's darkest just before the dawn...

So now sUnshine, i await a new dawn,
that fresh beginning, when you smile again,
I live for that smile! =) just...wanted you to know...

sUnshine, you were meant to be in my life,
radiating through my life, permeating other's lives,
so...be that light, that warmth, don't hide yourself =)

& here ends this poem, sUnshine, just...for you
may you apprehend the light, warmth & radiance within,
and may you bless greater, longer, stronger...

you are my sUnshine, my only sUnshine,
you make me happy, through night & day,
now you know dear, how much i Love you...
please don't take my sUnshine away...

Love,
me...

powerless

There are certain times in life...emotions just hit
and then the feelings get too overwhelming...

Powerlessness, in the face of human tragedy...
Sadness, because the loss is great...& eternal
Compassion, for the cold & suffering...
Concern, for friends who are there right now
Pain, for...reasons i can't even fathom really...

If my leg were not like that,
I may have been on the scene,
first responders are there now...
and they may even be part of the tragedy...

Why would someone rush to the scene of disaster?
We go because we can, we go because they need help...
We go because our eternal destiny is secure...
& others need the gift that we have...

Here, safe in shelter, we talk about the challenges of discipleship,
the need to break barriers with people, the need to overcome...
the difficulty in sharing about this good news of the gospel
over there, there is no need for talk...
everything is broken, action is the language that will speak
Love will shine through, and true...



We pray prayers but we never intently look for the answer...
But if we dare to pray, "Break my heart for what breaks yours",
how can our hearts not be rent asunder by the pain in others?
If the people in Japan are suffering & such images...so compelling,
then no heart ought to remain cold, and hidden...
& yet, the truth is...many are...many really are...

We're thankful it doesn't happen here,
fearful of abit of "toxic radioactive rain"
protective of our own interests...
& critical of those willing to risk themselves for others

There are good things, in this life,
but there are also great ones...
When we see the merely good,
it obscures the truly great...

I look out for great moments,
God moments...
Some i get to boldly participate in,
others i can but pray...

Daily life is not monotony, though it can be boring
Prayer in the mundane is sometimes most trying...
But perseverence has taught valuable baubles of wisdom...
Daniel had to press into prayer...for reasons later shown

There is a human tragedy underway right now,
and as we grapple with the weight of it...
let's also not miss the pain that is ripping the heart of God,
a compassion that pours from Him because these are His children,
I can barely imagine what a Father might feel...
but I know that it must be heart-wrenching...

This is not just a physical pain, a ripple in the here & now,
it is a spiritual pain, that also has reprecussions for eternity...
Prayer is a powerful weapon, given for all situations...
But now, when needed most, it is most effectively wielded...
if we remember to wield them at all...
so...pray, pray, pray, not just for the suffering,
but more so for the people to know God
and His Love that was given at Calvary...

Wow...
what a confused jumble of convoluted thoughts...
threatens to become a whole conflagaration...
really combustible...

Even a tsunami would not keep this down
so i shan't even try...
not tonight...

diverse tastes...?

Hmmm...now that i've had time at home for awhile,
i've had the chance to study some things i never had time for!

One of the things that interests me is cultural anthropology,
and some associates...sociology and psychology...

Now, i've distilled this abit for myself,
but for the next part, i need some help...

So...yes, whoever reads this blog...
feel free to comment...
I will not publish your comments on this blog
unless you want them to be published!

But yes, in a nutshell...
& as succintly as i can...
I wanna find out why we have some diverse tastes!
And what do we look for in something "nice"

So...my experiment is a contemporary song...
"Parachute" by Cheryl Cole...
google & give it a listen...

Some find it so good that it's nominated for a Brit award,
others...they get irritated hearing it...

I wanna hear what you think about it,
what catches your senses (or offends it)
Basically, do you like it or not? & why?

Any thoughts will be great! =D thanks in advance!

I hate this!!!!! really?

If this could be put into words...it might sound something like this...

You speak & the words that emerge...though they sound right,
yet they tinge with mistrust, and the eyes...they are not right...

Flit about somemore, or play about with them...
the trouble is that...it's not worth the trouble you know?

Why play with fire, when you know you (or someone else) is gonna get burnt?
But sometimes, you say (silently) the heart just wants what it wants...

& later on...we all discover, what the heart wanted was just deceit...hidden...
then the pain, distrust and grimaces, fleeting flights away...they start

Who knows where the end will come...we might not know...
yet...each player in this strange act, each plays their role...

Convoluted, messy, tangled web that it all turns out to be,
all starts with a simple yes, a simple no, but so often...simple it isn't

It's so easy to say...but we shouldn't expect...oh yeah?
Have you really been honest with yourself when you say that?

It's also...but...we shouldn't...
& then, in the next instance, we do...

One moment clear, the very next...blinkered
Receptive, then quickly, shut off...

Paradox? Lies?
Truth? Half-truth?

What to do with it? What to do with this?
God says Grace...
We say Faith...

I say...broken leg

It matters no longer the rousing chorus of rants or shouts,
the clamour of screams or plethora of desperate cries
Many & most are just plain noise...
they fade when the important is in focus.

Maybe it takes a broken leg to do that...
Don't be ashamed, Jacob got his hip broken by God
Daniel, He stared Faith in the eyes of a lion's den,
Ezra, a contrite spirit, a rebuilt temple,
Nehemiah, a broken heart then a rebuilt wall...
Perspective moments are needful,
& God's grace provides them...

When we hate them most,
and we are most wrecked,
let's have the searing conscience do it's work...
I wish...I hope...but in the end, all the "I's" do not matter...
the answer lies not in the "I" but in the "I AM"

Are you the biggest problem to God's answer?

His clarity is in His ONLY answer...
The One that died on the Cross & rose again...
Jesus Christ

If the cross isn't powerful enough for you,
You are choosing to say God is lying...

Or that He isn't Good or God...

But once again...
this is YOUR choice...

And in choosing so...
You elevate yrself & your choices above God's truth...

so...

Are you the biggest problem to God's answer?

One of my most beloved phrases...
be with me enough, you'll surely see me write it,
hear me say it, or speak it with conviction
in the Message version now...

Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Or more familiarly...

I have been crucified with Christ;
and it is no longer I who live,
but Christ lives in me;
and the life which I now live in the flesh
I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Greater Love I've never seen...

*Additional:
Just spotted an awesome post on Min's blog...http://www.gab-fest.blogspot.com/
Today's post also...March 7th 2011...
Her's is more palatable, a gentler version but we're on similar ground...

Think of mine as the cutting through the dross, wake up smack,
hers as the gentler, sharing of heart...

But capture the most important part...
God is central, self is put away...

The other thing to note...
Truly turning to God also shows in our prayer...
How much time do you truly spend with God?

Is He your BE ALL & END ALL?
The space filler in between the sentences?
Or is He merely the last resort?

Wondering if monday's results were good or bad...

Still wondering if

excuse me pls...

Someone should teach me how to forget...
maybe then, I would be clearer in some ways

Or maybe i just need to act blur, or fake stupid...
but none of the above things are consistent with who i am

Some people can live with a huge degree of incongruency, inconsistency,
I somehow can't...I need to have my inner life & outer one, one & the same

How we define value is how we live it out, isn't it?
But why can some live in utter confusion & chaos...

how did Jesus bear knowing all that He knew?
What was on His mind as He waited & wept, when Lazarus died?

How can we love the Lord who did miracles & gives us good gifts,
& then turn our back on, and mock the one on the cross...

It's so easy to play with God, flirt with Him sometimes,
when He speaks, we doubt, hesitate & fear...
but when gifts drop in our laps, love unconditional is shown,
we quickly forget, fail to be thankful & then forsake the giver again...

Going to church makes you a christian,
only as much as sitting in a Carl's Jr makes you a hamburger...

We are NOT what we wear, what we proclaim, or what we seem,
We ARE what we DO, what we LIVE, what we LOVE

Our hearts are easily misled, quickly enchanted, easily distracted,
how quickly we forget, forsake and then are left forlorn...

Easy words lead to empty promises, which tear an invisible rift
Isn't it an irony? We expect God to heal, while we go on destroying

Convenience is such a contemptuous evil...
Intentional Love does the hard thing

Cheap flattery, witty flirtatious lines...will be shown up as lies
truth may hurt for awhile, but it's also healing & redemptive

We follow people, and forget Christ,
when we should follow Christ, and introduce them to Him

Selfishness is celebrated, exalted & constantly trumpeted,
where selflessness is taken for granted, trampled & casually discarded

Excuse me please...
It's time to wake up!

In the most simple declaration of divine sadness i've ever read...

God himself said..."My people have forgotten..."

='(

stunning it is...
that we can break the heart of God so easily...
and be so oblivious of it

May we know You more this day Lord
Please unlock the deaf ears,
open the blind eyes...
incline every cold heart back to You
AMEN

Walk in Nehemiah's shoes...

I wonder how Nehemiah felt when he conducted his first survey of the broken down walls of Jerusalem? The bible records that he did it under cover of darkness...and people have conventionally thought that he did it to prevent detection from enemies...

However, what if there were other reasons...
in chapter 2:11-12...just WHAT did God place on Nehemiah's heart?
it's never stated, just that he went with a few men under the cover of darkness...
Maybe it was the rebuilding of the wall...maybe it was something else...

Maybe he did it in darkness because, then...
he could see the true state of the wall,
feel the terrifying weight of the darkness,
see with his senses what his eyes could not see...
can you imagine walking the dung gate in the dark?
they say when you deprive some senses, the others heighten
gosh...who can tell the assault on his senses...
Smells funky, can't see much, every sound like an attack,
maybe in that whole night of his journey...
He was experiencing a dark night of his soul,
abit like Gethsamene for Jesus
feeling what it means to be without light,
darkened senses, to feel...fear...
And maybe...just maybe...the night was effective cover for tears
like Jesus' own anguished sweat drops of blood...


I think we think too small of God...
When He planted something on Nehemiah's heart,
I think it was a God-sized task...
yes, the building of the wall was a great task...
but men could do it (and they did it!!)

In the process, the Jews who did it were encouraged,
they were empowered, they were ministered...
Building up the individuals...a mammoth task...done by God!

BUT...Maybe, and maybe i'm even thinking too small here...
but what if...the God-sized task that was placed on Nehemiah's heart,
was the rebuilding of the wall, the strengthening of individuals,
the reformation of a nation, the REVIVAL of belief in God!
I think that might have been it...REVIVAL

Where throughout, the people had a sense of their abilities
a sense of what they might do with their strengths, gifts and talents.
Yet at the end of the day, the most important thing...
was that they regained a sense of WHO God is...
The great I AM...He who could, and WOULD...
do all that is needed to rescue His people, build them up,
and once again, remind them that in Him...
all other problems are small, tiny, utterly meaningless! =)

Will you walk in Nehemiah's shoes?
Do you see your broken Jerusalem wall?

Are you able to lift your gaze further...
to see that God has called you to be a Holy Nation,
A royal priesthood, A people belonging to God,
Who called us out of darkness & into His marvelous light? (1 pet 2:9)

We ARE,
because He IS,
the GREAT
I AM

laugh or frown?

Hmmm...i dunno whether to laugh or to cry! =|

this silly little rubber thing at the bottom of my crutches...
it looks like nothing, just a little rubber thing...
like a shoe for my crutches...
but whoever could fathom such an important role for it!

i used to figure that yeah...it gave me more traction,
helped me to navigate water and muddy situations better...
well...today...the little rubber shoe tore...
and i was thinking how it looked so funny!
just a show with holes! had some "character" woo! =P

then...just after that...
when i started to move around...
i realised that metal on floor contact...
makes tons of grinding noises...
scratches on the floor...
and worst of all...that crutch slides every which way...
never fell/threatened to fall so many times in sucha short time...
sigh...so now, the toilet is my greatest threat since it's wet and all
and i dunno if my family can find the rubber thing now,
shops close in afew mins...but hopefully we can find it!

God...HELP!!!

Youthphoria history...

Hearing from Wendy last week...
then Rufus...i think i should also share...
before history gets forgotten...

But i don't know where to start...

Standards

Was in a ponder moment earlier...
then i saw a quote that really gave me pause...

And as i thought about it,
the unmistakeable plea of something deeper emerged...

So often, we have a certain measure,
a standard that we have, hidden, unconscious even,
but it is there within us...

We want certain things...
friends of a certain kind (funny, good-looking etc)
things that are special, unique, individual,

Deep within, we hide an inner complex...
wanting to be superior, smarter, better,
pride, selfishness and other things hide within...
do you even know what is within you?
Alot of times, we don't...
because we are able to deny it easily...

However, what we cannot ignore is this...
We have a certain standard, a way to "measure",
now...where did that ever come from?
And why is it there?

I love the way God convicts and moves...
And today i have one simple thought,
one that i hope will help illuminate the rest of the thought...

This world says we must have a certain standard of living...
it leads us to want to acquire more, have the best things,
and when we cannot, it leads to a desirous lust of the eyes,
sometimes even to a deadly green-eyed envy...

However God has never asked nor measured us any such way...
Instead of a standard of living...I think God would ask us...
How is your standard of Giving?

If the God of the universe, started creation by an act of Giving...
Giving us light, water, trees, animals, life...
and if He crowned creation by creating Man,
then isn't giving supposed to be deeply ingrained in us?
Sadly...it isn't...

But God had a final, supreme act of Love...
When He GAVE His son, Jesus Christ as the atonement for sin,
In this ultimate act of giving, God redeemed us fully...
Now...this free gift is laid on us...to give...

When our eyes are set on the wrong things,
we can completely & totally miss the point...
but if we know the abundance & the gift that we have,
then we also know God, who gives us all that we need,
and He is a God who can be trusted to give richly...=)

i'm learning that...
The greatest gifts we can ever give...
are the free ones...
Love, Time, words, effort

Free gifts...but immensely costly, & hard

& maybe the beauty is captured...
in the way that God made this...
So that no one can have an excuse...
I never had this...i never had that...
We have ALL been given a heart to love,
& the same 24 hours each day,
an ability to talk, write, paint, create, or just be there
and people with whom to bless them with...

Is your standard of living more important
than your standard of giving?

How are we giving with all that we have?

somedayswonder

racked with a splitting headache,
& another wrenching -ache,
One of a physical nature, beyond control
the other of cheap words & badly broken promises

Congruency, a long obedience...
the same-old, same-old...
seems to hold no value for a microwave age,
on-demand fun, a roving eye for the next thrill

like a ball out of left field...
sudden gut shots hurt the most
little twitches that used to not matter,
suddenly become amplified, snowballed...

If we look for the tangible, we get the tangible,
if we look for the intangible, we see gold...or sometimes...none
What obscures what? White covers black? or Black over white?
You say there is no answer? I say there is...

From a relativistic view, nothing is certain...
then, to even make such a statement debunks itself.
We live by laws beyond our control...
gravity, electromagnetic fields, light, sound...

Darkness can only exist because the Light isn't present,
So in any situation, Light, illumination is needed...
then darkness will simply have to flee...
Light beats back the darkness...

And that's true now too...
When we see, ignore the darkness, it is fleeting,
Look for God's light and fan that forth...
We are ALL made in God's image, everyone of us,
so there is none that is "more worthy"...
or one that is "more despised"...
Our measure is Love...
and we are all Loved by the King...
some just know it better than others.
And those who know it better...have a responsibility...
a responsibility NOT to hoard it,
but to demonstrate that gift to others,
to show it...to draw others out of the darkness,
to show the world what true Light looks like.

somedaysiwonder...
isheavenreallylikeasweetmaplesyrupkiss?

broken & poured out

3 While He was in Bethany at the home of Simon the leper, and reclining at the table, there came a woman with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume of pure nard; and she broke the vial and poured it over His head
Mark 14:3 (NASB)

22 While they were eating, He took some bread, and after a blessing He broke it, and gave it to them, and said, "Take it; this is My body."23 And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, and they all drank from it.24 And He said to them, "This is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.
Mark 14:22 (NASB)

This short passage in Mark 14 really spoke & challenged me today...the first is the lady who broke the alabaster jar of perfume, worth a years wages...she gave her BEST and her ALL as a gift...then it was Jesus later on, who broke the bread for the last supper...and He was showing us that He was going to GIVE us His all! wow...stunned and amazed at these 2 stories and the same pictures used...BROKE (Alabaster jar & bread)...POURED OUT (Perfume & blood of the covenant)...

And the other key words, both were COSTLY, and both were...GIFTS...wow...WoW...WOW!

To live a life that is BROKEN & POURED OUT

Concise

I love it when things are broken down to it's simplest & truest form, when done succintly...it is plain wonderful!

It's easy to confuse fasting with a hunger strike,
to get God to do what you want.

Pray that God will empty YOU of all that is YOU,
and fill YOU with all that is HIM.

Simple, short, true...

Isaiah 58 (The Message)
5 Do you think this is the kind of fast day I’m after:
a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
a fast day that I, God, would like?

6 “This is the kind of fast day I’m after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts...

9 Then when you pray, God will answer.
You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’
A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places
“If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people’s sins,
10 If you are generous with the hungry

and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.

11 I will always show you where to go.
I’ll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
firm muscles, strong bones. (!!!!)
You’ll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.

Was surprised by God this morning =)
Precisely because of this passage in Isaiah,
and especially verse 11 above! =D
Firm muscles & strong bones!! haha!
Truly God knows EXACTLY what i need,
exactly what I have been asking for...
and He put it into His LIVING WORD,
eons before I even knew i needed it...gosh...
The way that You Love is truly amazing God!

What can i say but...I Love You Lord! =D

the longest Psalm

Today...i read the longest Psalm in the Message version...
and once again, just by pure reading, things are striking me! =)

Want to just share the things that hit...
because this way...the word of God speaks for itself! =)

1 You’re blessed when you stay on course,
walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
2 You’re blessed when you follow his directions,
doing your best to find him.
3 That’s right—you don’t go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road he set.
4 You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now you expect us to live it.
5 Oh, that my steps might be steady,
keeping to the course you set;
6 Then I’d never have any regrets
in comparing my life with your counsel.

12 Be blessed, God;
train me in your ways of wise living.
13 I’ll transfer to my lips
all the counsel that comes from your mouth;
14 I delight far more in what you tell me about living
than in gathering a pile of riches.
15 I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you,
I attentively watch how you’ve done it.

20 My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous!—
insatiable for your nourishing commands.

32 I’ll run the course you lay out for me
if you’ll just show me how.
33 God, teach me lessons for living
so I can stay the course.
34 Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—
my whole life one long, obedient response.

41 Let your love, God, shape my life
with salvation, exactly as you promised;
42 Then I’ll be able to stand up to mockery
because I trusted your Word.

66 Train me in good common sense;
I’m thoroughly committed to living your way.
67 Before I learned to answer you, I wandered all over the place,
but now I’m in step with your Word.

71 My troubles turned out all for the best—
they forced me to learn from your textbook.
72 Truth from your mouth means more to me
than striking it rich in a gold mine.

79 Let those who fear you turn to me
for evidence of your wise guidance.
80 And let me live whole and holy, soul and body,
so I can always walk with my head held high.

95 The wicked lie in ambush to destroy me,
but I’m only concerned with your plans for me.
96 I see the limits to everything human,
but the horizons can’t contain your commands!
97 Oh, how I love all you’ve revealed;
I reverently ponder it all the day long.
98 Your commands give me an edge on my enemies;
they never become obsolete.
99 I’ve even become smarter than my teachers
since I’ve pondered and absorbed your counsel.
100 I’ve become wiser than the wise old sages
simply by doing what you tell me.
101 I watch my step, avoiding the ditches and ruts of evil
so I can spend all my time keeping your Word.
102 I never make detours from the route you laid out;
you gave me such good directions.
103 Your words are so choice, so tasty;
I prefer them to the best home cooking.
104 With your instruction, I understand life;
that’s why I hate false propaganda.
105 By your words I can see where I’m going;
they throw a beam of light on my dark path.
106 I’ve committed myself and I’ll never turn back
from living by your righteous order.

Oh yes...today marks 1 month into recovery of this broken ankle!

because this speaks better!

⁵Meanwhile, all the other people live however they wish,
picking and choosing their gods.
But we live honoring God,
and we're loyal to our God forever and ever.

^6-7"On that great day," God says,
"I will round up all the hurt and homeless,
everyone I have bruised or banished.
I will transform the battered into a company of the elite.
I will make a strong nation out of the long lost,
A showcase exhibit of God's rule in action,
as I rule from Mount Zion, from here to eternity.

Micah 4:5-7 (The Message)

I find myself at a loss for words...
the good sort of lost for words =)
Because, sometimes, we just are...
& it's best to be speechless before the King =)

He is the I AM

The Message in Galatians

Read through the 6 chapters of Galatians in the Message version, and I just want to capture some stuff that stood out to me in the reading! =)

Chapter 1: I like Paul's passion, and how emphatic he is as he says this!!

^10-12Do you think I speak this strongly in order to manipulate crowds? Or curry favor with God? Or get popular applause? If my goal was popularity, I wouldn't bother being Christ's slave. Know this—I am most emphatic here, friends—this great Message I delivered to you is not mere human optimism. I didn't receive it through the traditions, and I wasn't taught it in some school. I got it straight from God, received the Message directly from Jesus Christ.

Chapter 2: Paul shows his firmness in the gospel & his lawyer skills

¹⁴But when I saw that they were not maintaining a steady, straight course according to the Message, I spoke up to Peter in front of them all...

^15-16We Jews know that we have no advantage of birth over "non-Jewish sinners." We know very well that we are not set right with God by rule-keeping but only through personal faith in Jesus Christ. How do we know? We tried it—and we had the best system of rules the world has ever seen! Convinced that no human being can please God by self-improvement, we believed in Jesus as the Messiah so that we might be set right before God by trusting in the Messiah, not by trying to be good.

^17-18Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren't perfectly virtuous, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was "trying to be good," I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.

^19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

You know...there are 4 more chapters to Galatians, but...i realised that i can't summarise them or make it any more concise without killing Paul's excellent case for faith and how we are children of the promise! Please...go read Galatians in The Message version, you'll find that it translates it so nicely, and so readably, that it makes a whole new sense of the unchanging gospel!

Loving my times reading The Message from God once again! =D nice!

passé

ouchie...

*writing this in the midst of pain...so...i dunno what i'm typing lah...

When I broke my leg, I made this silent vow not to mention it too much...like, i know my life is gonna be badly affected by it, having to change routines, learn how to manage small things like arranging for water to be available, food, looking where i step etc...

So yeah...even though my life does revolve around this...handicap, yet i've not complained too much, but today is gonna be my complaint post...because i really really feel it today!! grr!

Woke this morning with my leg feeling really stiff & painful...it was the whole leg, and i could hardly move! Scared me a little, but after giving it a massage, the aches lessened to the point where i coud get out of bed, yet...the pain was still there.

Later on, i contemplated leaving the house...going out to visit because i've been so utterly bored, totally missing interaction, feeling like a chump...but then the skies started to threaten, and the thought of waiting in the rain for a cab was...untenable, so there goes the plan...

And then the worst bit...was doing my leg stretches then i realised my skin was peeling, took me awhile to realise the the skin is now flabby because my muscle has atrophied & shrunk, and the skin is now peeling cuz of that...and putting both my legs together, it is really a sad sad sight...one muscular, normal leg, and the other...lifeless and toneless.

The doctor's review is on 28th Feb, then i'll know if the bone is healed enough, and if i can put any weight on it...but now til the 28th is a REALLY long time...i wonder what my leg muscles will atrophy til...it is a sad sad sight seeing your own body waste away...and have no way to change it...

And yeah...one really bad side effect? I'm starting to get cramps in those unused muscles, and the worst is that i can't ease the cramp because i can't really manipulate my foot, so i have to bear it or try to massage it our gently...all this just adds to the distress...sigh...='(

yeah...feeling abit down & sorry for myself today, i'm determined not to let it get me down, and i wanna fight back, and recover better, but for now, i've to surrender this...the bone has to heal, then i have to rehab to regain full range of motion, only then can we talk about regaining strength...so yeah...gonna be weak for some months yet...have to face that reality head on

It's almost a month already, so that's one month down! i'm finding ways to cope...come on now, dun wallow in despair...give it your best Rudy...long journey but you can do it!! look upwards...

I wish I could say things were normal & I'm doing wonderful, but though i think i've coped well this past few weeks, I do get my bad days too...today is truly one of those...God, help me deal with the pain and the cramps, the sleepless nights & painful ones, the lack of help and no more Isaac/Joy/Isaiah to play & laugh with...I think those were truly wonderful days of blessing...thank you Lord!

Please pray if you see this...there are bad days & today is really one of those...='|

emancipation

*any mandarin in this post is borrowed from a dear friend...

I read this in “My sister’s keeper” by Jodi Picoult

“I don’t believe in living my life expecting the worst”

Sounds like one of the best summaries ever for a life...
but isn’t that purely a utopian idea? idealistic yet unrealistic?

Doesn’t living like that open ourselves up to living an illusion? or more accurately, a delusion?
Life is filled with ups and downs, if we only look for the up...and miss the downs...aren’t we missing the other part of the journey also? Life is the sum of the whole, not just the good or bad.

Additionally, holding on to that kind of a thought, won’t it just lead to faulty thinking? like...instead of making the most of our current situation, won’t we just wallow? or just wait? instead of taking active steps to move out of the situation or to learn more in those down moments? This inclination to ignore takes passivity to a whole new level

The lady who uttered that sentence...she walked into a fire station, in an octupus suit...why? because she did not ever live life expecting the worst, so...when her house burned down,
that was all she had left to wear...somehow...a very fitting picture & very congruent with her philosophy of life. Lady Octupus...i'm not sure whether to laugh or to cry, but the absurdity stands out doesn't it? That was a very shrewd social commentary hidden in the book, succintly compressed into several paragraphs...

it's better to live life in terms of eternity...both sides of eternity, that means looking forward to heaven, but knowing that there is an eternal Hell for sinners too...I don’t plan for the worst, but I do think through the things that might happen, and prepare somewhat for them, as much as i prepare for the successes & the Joys in life, forethought helps...and understanding our human weaknesses and limitations helps too...somethings that we can’t do...we just have to trust God for...Growth is all about walking on, in trusting God, and in taking those steps He has charted...in faith...

"I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery" Exodus 20:2

Egypt is on my heart, especially after seeing the pictures of Tahrir Square in the ST, and having been there, meeting people and now hearing some of the thoughts...the unrest, confusion & fear is palpable. Violence has always been a part of the culture, & in flashpoint moments like these, it gets really dangerous. My friends...i'm praying for you also. Your freedom is eternal & secured, but maybe, now, God is setting the rest of the captives free!!

On another note...

wet = slippery
fungus = slimey/slidey
achey arms = weak
broken ankle = dangerous
slip...die...
why?

="(
*ouch

可能..最痛的不是表面所失去的。