Praise from the past, for the present & the future!

The power of remembering transcends its evocative nature.
It is about more than simply recollecting or reliving.
Remembering pulls the past, with all of God's presence,
into our present and future.
At its best, it reconnects us to God and His activity in our lives.
Remembering puts things into perspective,
reminds us that God was present,
acted mightily in our lives before,
and promises to do it again.
It reminds us, when we remember
~Nancy Ortberg~

I look back and recognise that God has been in every aspect of my life past, present and i know for certain...the future too! I didn't always have such a perspective, but there is an unmistakable Joy that i have in living life this way now. A life of faith, of dependence on the Holy Spirit, on being granted the Joy of participating in an eternal work. This, to me, is the life worth living!

I was scanning my Birkman report, and i still find it so interesting that my social service scores are almost maxed out! Together with musical & literary interests! There was a time that i was uncertain on all of these giftings...but now, i'm sure of them and i try to use them well! =) It's wonderful to be able to use everything i have, enjoy it and see how it is helping others too! =) Triple whammy combo!! YEAAA-AH! =)

Sometimes...i wonder, why does it take so much for us to express ourselves...has the asian culture suppressed us so much that it is anathema to be people of expression, simple gratitude, extravagant love...Are overlooked kindnesses, a simple taking-for-granted, muted appreciation, false modesty, are these more acceptable and therefore...par for the course?

^16-17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

^18-20My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

^21-24And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him.
1 John 3: 16-24 (The Message)

חסד

I discovered the little word symbol above...
and I want to remember it...
it looks so simple..
like a 70n (seven-zero-n)
but it's not that...
in Hebrew...it means so much more...
3 little symbols...TONS of MEANING!

In gratitude, I want to say...
I Love You Lord!

introspection...

It's been a really long week and a week of much interesting stuff!

Mon & Tues: Love Movement at the Forum
Wed: Soccer interest group
Thurs: Soul2Soul Concert

This has been the most physically taxing in awhile!
Plenty of early days, long nites, all in a frenzy of activity!

Many times of dealing with conflict, working things out,
helping others thru, and also realising failings in all of us...

Discovery of, or rather deepening of a paradox:

Those we love have the ability to hurt us the most,
and they sometimes do...
and yet...because we love them,
we have the ability to overlook offence...

Somber thoughts those are...
because, i see how it is true in my life
In my times of introspection, i see that...
in the past, i have had the ability to "overlook" (in inverted comma's)
because...that meant i would just try very hard to ignore it,
or to come up with a reason for it and not blame the other person
It sorta...just hid the pain and the hurt i felt, and didn't address it.
It seemed the noble thing to do, the right thing even,
but it did not mean forgiveness, or an apology from anyone...
these small matters had the ability to snowball & erupt later...

But i've progressed along the path,
and seen how flawed this has been.
Now, to overlook means something else to me,
i try very hard to be honest with myself (it's painful sometimes)
acknowledging the emotions of it all...(hurt, pain, anger, bitterness etc)
finding out WHY the emotions emerged...
then determining if it is something i should tell the person
(if i can't do it in Love, if anger or something remains...then better not to)
or is it something i can just handle by myself.

Handling it well means that i struggle with myself,
move from those initial emotions back to a position of Love,
being able to forgive in the process, and letting things go...
It has demanded a certain "forgetfulness",
the ability to really forgive & forget, and loving back normally...

This week brought back many memories,
some of smiles, some of pain...
but when i look back, and ask God,
i'm glad that most were handled well,

Sometimes it seems that there's no fairytale,
that things just seem bleak, dark & empty...
but i always remember...
Stories are never wonderful and perfect,
they are always ups & downs,
valleys & peaks,
what makes a fairytale, a fairytale
is that...at the END of the story,
when it comes to an end,
it ends well!
and we anticipate such an ending,
LOVE it even more, because of the ups & downs before

I live a fairytale life, because thru the ups & downs,
i still sense the Love of God, His leading thru it all...
and i still have that sense of expectancy for the future!
I want to continue living like that! =)
Not looking to what i do not have,
but recognising the abundance i've been gifted with! =)


07 In You.mp3

In this world, but not of this world...

Just afew mins ago...just had what i consider to be the weirdest 3min conversation ever...

Mum: What you doing? ...ok...give me $10 ok?
Me: Mmmmm...$10? ok...but why?

Mum: Tomorrow, TOTO grand prize is $10 million, i bought for everyone in the family, even your sisters, so you buy also ok? just give me $10...
Me: Errrrrmm...but i don't want to gamble

Mum: Aiyah..this is not gambling, you put in $10 for a chance to win $10 million, then you don't have to worry about money forever! Such a good opportunity!
Me: It's ok mum, i would rather not

Mum: [laughing] where got anyone so GONG wan? It's just $10!!! Got chance to get rich but dun want? [laughs] dun be silly lah...dun be gong lah...
Me: I'm just not interested in gambling mum, sorry

Mum: ok lor...but if your sisters win the $10million, you don't go and ask them for money uh!
Me: don't worry, i won't

[click]

yes...laughable conversation i know...
I REALLY wish i had the wisdom at the moment to have said something more, to have told my mum that i've already won the greatest prize in Christ Jesus, and that i'm not excited by games of chance or lured by the prospect of riches.

I can see my mother's point of view...that she wants the best for me, that she genuinely loves me that's why she asked, that she wants me to be a man who is rich and lacks nothing. But that's not the point really...

Sure...in any form, way or manner of reasoning, you can easily argue over the point...like...
1) if you buy TOTO and you strike, then God is blessing you!
2) but...its a game! the money is just a nice bonus...
3) ...winning can be a testimony! just give everything away!
i'm sure we can think of more justifications...

But why buy in the 1st place?
What's the intention of the inward heart? riches?
Does winning TOTO some how glorify God?

Or... are we saying...
by NOT winning TOTO...means we're not glorifying God?
(Utter nonsense!)

I know that i've won the greatest prize in Christ, and that satisfies me completely...
I refuse to be lured by games of chance, or enchanted by the appeal of riches...

I was reflecting on something earlier...

"Be in this world, but not of this world..."

And yes, i'm struck by the aptness of how God prepared me for this moment, and i'm glad i did not compromise, reason it out and say...it's just $10...

I think, being in this very practical, efficient & economically driven time, $10 to win $10 million seems to be a "no-brainer" kind of decision! Of course! Just do it! Seize the chance!

But God searches and looks to the intentions of a man's heart...not to find a perfect heart, but to see if there is a heart that takes Him seriously, and desires to do what He wants more than anything else.

Tests can come in the smallest of forms ($10), and in the most unexpected ways (3 min phone call) but when the time comes, the test is still the test...where is your heart, pilgrim?

Lord, You are the sovereign Lord who knows our every battle, struggle & weakness, you know us even better than we know ourselves. Abba, grow us to be a generation of disciples of Christ who brook no compromise, who will not allow little deceptions to weaken us.

Cause us to constantly lean on You and to depend on Your Holy Spirit to guide us moment by moment. We know that the battle is ongoing, we may have victory today but we still have to be on guard the very next moment, teach us to be dependent on your guidance and never to rely on our own strength.

Lord, we know that ultimate victory is in your hands, You've conquered the grave, so teach us to live this victorious life daily! Let us shine as your light and testimony, being IN this world, but NOT of this world, allow us to be Your fragrance, living life by your precepts so that the world may know of you King Jesus! AMEN!