true that...

best & worst

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, 

it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, 

it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, 

it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, 

it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, 

we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, 

we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - 

in short, the period was so far like the present period, 

that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, 

for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

~Charles Dickens~
Opening paragraph of "A tale of Two Cities"

Do you not feel...

when you see something like this...=/

Tears & anger are powerful...

Even more so...intercession & thanksgiving

Humour is just one outlet...

laughter hides the tears...

just like it hides everything else...
applause breaks from men mean nothing

I know that I'm weak, so...
...this one thing I do...

...this i know...
You are

I AM

intense...

Last night was the start of an intense few days...
It can be intensely stressful, intensely healing, or intensely restful...
depends on what God brings up...hmmm...

Some thoughts on my mind today
It is definitely a thankless job seeing people through their toughest times,
or it can just be their youngest times, rawest times or ugliest times

I see so many, and I know their backstories well...
but while I rejoice for them at where they have grown to,
there is a tinge of joyful sadness, when I know they have forgotten the awful past,
yet also the way God worked, and also, how gratitude is a gift from Him

We live in too privileged a society...you were right when you said that L
So many options, no need to consider, so a complacency sets in...
The struggle to build deep, lasting foundations is a slippery one...
Speak too untactfully, and the moment is lost...
Speak too hesitantly, and the fact is buried/brushed aside
Never speaking, means compromising, what kind of foundation is that?

I watched Coach Carter again several nights back...
and it reminded me of what I'm standing for, and against
It is worth it to rebel against low standards, stand firm for God's truth,
demand something greater from others...especially if they are stuck in mediocrity
We have forgotten, or never appropriated our identity in Christ if we walk in fear,
yet, if we have a proper awe and reverence of God, it permeates our walk and our work
there is no need to be overbearing, overpassionate or extremely intense...
God's fragrance does...simply...permeate...

This weekend away, brings it's own challenges...
but I think the break is good, it is perfect...
I need it, because the week has been intense enough,
my emotions are shot...the ministering has taken a toll...

my oakleys have their first visible damage,
and yesterday was the first day completely in contacts...
Random things and happenings, all of which I give thanks for...
Pastor has been asking...Who ministers to the ministers?
And apart from the perfect answers we can give...
do we understand the heart behind the question?

We understand better the appeal of being a star,
the (seeming) prestige that comes from being "known"
when actually the longing of every human heart is to be known,
we all have that in differing measure, and suffer the effects of it too

I have a tacit disregard for just the things that are "on display"
this week, i found a kindred spirit in BL, as we bought shirts together,
we both look for the story behind a design, the meaning, the depth...
we can be called geeky, nerdy, quirky, weird or knowledgeable...
but one thing thats true is that our discussions are never uninteresting!

I love depth, and serendipity, because they speak to me of God,
when complexity is layered into simplicity, we marvel...
when beauty is wrapped up in ashes, we frown and look away
when love is wrapped up in pain, we turn away
Similar events different reactions...
If God is unchanging in nature, then who is the fickle one?

Rocks in shoes...

This is where the discipleship journey is toughest...
Walking with people through sin, pain & suffering
Hurting people, hurt people...proven time and time again
This day, I recognised the words from your hurts, so I ignored it...
May that happen each time it needs to,
God, give me Grace for each step...

I have no wisdom, none like the One you need,
so...turn there, look upon Him...
When you choose to, and be shaped by Him
I know your contenance will change...as it reflects His

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You Lord for a little gem of a day
For the bright sparks of people illumined by You,
or people who are willing to conform to your moulding
I see such openness and God, may you use it beautifully

Thank You for the good that came before the bad
Thank You for right times, right places and right conversations
May the morning bring more light, more Grace, more Agape,
But most of all, may it bring more of You dear Lord

=.../

It's deja vu, times two...
I've had this sensation before,
Like an onlooker I should ignore
Wish I could do something more

Why should this keep happening?
Or why must this mess keep getting messier?
Questions with no answers...
so maybe the best is just to plod on...

I said I'd pray for you & I will,
because for today i know...
it is no shock, yet it is no thrill...
but the pain will be...sadly...real

But His Grace is sufficient for you,
and I know that this time was better than last,
Walking with you both through both of those,
taught me so much more, more than I'd ever know...

So...to journey with you, that was a privilege,
and now, for my own journey, may it be great...
I just noticed that little footprint you left...
and gosh, who knew, what a little flutter it left!

I look on in expectation,
not to push on, but to pray on,
I trust that God makes beautiful things,
and each of you are one...
but I'm looking for my own beautiful one,
because there is a time and place, and now is mine

God, your Grace is enough
so may it prove so...
May we be your beautiful instruments
bringing light and beauty,
not pain and calamity,
& each mis-step, may You turn it around Lord.

Trusting You tonight for those hearts,
Thank You for this season of prayer
Thank You for 10,000 reasons to praise You
Thank You that I know from both sides so I can intercede...

Thank You Lord