Familiarity

Need to post to clear my thoughts today,
been pondering about some things and thinking deep

And one such issue is familiarity...
I think the concept of it has always been real,
yet the exercise of it has not.

Let me explain in this way...
I grew up in a broken family,
so...with my father gone at an early age,
Mum had to go out to work & til very late...
thus, we had little semblence of a "normal" family,
there was no time to really do the "family" thing...
meals were rushed affairs, hardly any holidays...
play times were short but intense,
responsibility was learnt early on,
each one of us had to take care of our own keys,
wallet, money, use frugally, & buy food for ourselves.

Family...and familiarity seemed a distant concept,
one ringed by certain boundaries...
and even now, this streak of independence runs deep in us.

Yet, when i came to Christ...
I learnt what it means to be in the family of God,
and i see what it means to share everything...
to help each other out, to bless, and also to be close.

Close in the sense of knowing each other well,
really knowing each others likes/dislikes...
needs/wants...and various other quirks and all
Of course, in that...much grace had to be learnt also!

However, these days, seeing objectively...
I see also that i have my our peculiar brand of familiarity
Maybe i should just ramble on and let my own dysfunction show

I think i have something against an "assumed familiarity",
and i mean...when i see a person making himself "at home",
in the presence or in the household of another.
My peculiar dysfunction tells me that...
When someone says "make yourself at home!"
they mean it, yet also...there is a certain boundary.
I can't draw a line, but i sense that there must be a respect shown,
a courtesy of asking permission, a sense of gratitude,
all these can be shown by simple, "Thank you's", "May I..."
and other assorted displays of love in action.

Maybe this is my own thoughts & assumptions,
& maybe my sense of boundary is usually higher than most...
but i find it awkward to intrude on people,
and I cannot naturally assimilate into the home culture of others.
I feel too great a sense of gratitude, appreciation, and also...
I feel that I have to treat all things with a great amount of respect.
haha! maybe that's why i call it...my peculiar dysfunction...

And yeah, maybe i'm writing today because...
when i see this "familiarity" played out by others...
No one else seems to feel like I feel about it...
they have no problems "making themselves at home",
and taking and using stuff without conscience or even respect...
I dunno...I just simply rankle at that...
I find that i cannot take things that are not mine,
if i want to, i'll ask permission or do without...
I find that i cannot just "assume" blanket permission...
and i will still ask first, especially if i'm using other's things
Maybe my sense of boundary (yours, mine, ours, shared) is showing!

Yeah...so...am i weird or am i weird? hahaha! =P

But in saying so...
I think that i'm very comfortable with who i am...
and this little dysfunction has served me well...
so I don't think i will change it much! =)
I think i'm ole fashioned that way...
Honour & respect for others is basic for me,
and that means...even if I lose out sometimes,
giving that honour & respect for others is still a priority,
rather than just seizing any opportunity to benefit

Since i'm on this...I think yes...
i can suddenly think of how well this "dysfunction" has served me,
I realised that there have been times in the past, i've seen this...

I think sometimes, when we think we know a person well enough,
we begin to feel comfortable and we begin to act based on assumptions,
like "Oh...they won't mind lah", "He will understand", "She will do it!"...
And then, because we act based on these assumptions...
The other party gets upset, or something goes awry...then people get hurt
And it all happened because seeing things the wrong way!

Hmmm...i'm thankful that...because of my "dysfunction"...
this scenario does not happen too often in my life...
Even if i know somebody REALLY well...
Even if deep in my heart i know that they won't mind,
I STILL will ask or pre-empt a person...
I find that...to assume...really does this...
Assume, (ass-u-me)...makes an "ass" of "u" & "me"
I've written this before, but it's the most apt description really!
I try not to act on assumptions...
Yes, if people do not respond or something...
then maybe we HAVE to, but given a choice...
I find it better to take an extra step...to respect the other person.

Somehow...i can't figure out why that is difficult for others,
especially when they know it is a sensitive situation!
Why would some people rather work on the assumption...
rather than take a simple additional step?
Is it pride? Carelessness? Complacency?
I've no idea...but yeah...it happens, more often than it should

I think...there is no conclusion to this thought...
only a pure & honest rambling tonight...
Yet, i find that...at my own bedrock...
I discover that i'm really an old soul at heart...
things like honour & respect are core to me.
Courtesy and graciousness certain hallmarks!
Boundaries help me maintain credibility as a minister,
& I take additional effort to build up integrity.

Why have I done all these? & inconvenienced myself?
I think that...it's no inconvenience when done for the sake of the Cross.
As Paul said..."To do ALL things in order to save some..."
& that sometimes means taking the effort to be above reproach,
especially when dealing with the things that are not ours, but His.
Our stewardship isn't just abt resources, but also...how we live our lives!

It's interesting how simple thoughts can dig so deep! =P