One of the ways that God speaks to me, is when stuff lingers...
I mean, I think that it's natural, when stuff linger; they matter,
I've stopped doubting, started asking more of God each time it happens
I want to know what God is teaching so that i can learn...
I've been thinking hard on several topics & enjoying it...=)
I think there is a certain pleasure & joy in the rigours of the mind
taking a prolonged think on a subject so that more facets take shape
It intrigues me, how many things have multiple angles...
As I was thinking on personal vision & God's timing,
it also struck me that selfish desires & fear surely colour my thoughts
But when things are surrendered back, it becomes clearer
& I think that there are some walks that need to be shared
I'm thinking that...in life, we're called upon to have many things...
A vision, dreams, plans, desires, relationships, "be a leader"...etc
while that helps some people, for others, it greatly hinders...
I've seen examples of both driven & non-driven individuals,
and i do not think one is better than the other...
The driven person is typically, also fighting a battle with himself,
they have many dreams, desires and aims, but they frequently fall prey to "more"
trying to acquire what they do not have, in hope that the next goal is better,
If this is not watched out for, all we build is a self-centered gospel...
one based on tangible achievements, one based on looking "successful"
it is a house of mirrors that may not show up true character within
The non-driven individual is almost diametrically opposite...
they appear to have no plan, are haphazard, living for the moment,
because they fail to see ahead, they frequently repeat mistakes,
go through lessons again, beat themselves up for those,
and it leads to a cycle of berating themselves, being their own worst enemy
They live life to the fullest now, but think that they scarcely have a future hope
Are either of these good or bad? Is any one of these better than the other?
I think that...those are the wrong questions to ask...
If we think on it, those are behaviours that we are born with,
yes, we will grow, learn & mature, but we each have a personality,
that will always show up in the way that we do things...
But as i've been thinking on it...driven or non-driven is not the issue,
if we look at both of those examples, there is a certain bent towards..."self"
the driven man, becomes proud, almost narcissistic...building up "self"
the non-driven man, compares with others, tears himself down...
while it is undoubtedly painful, it is still a relentless focus on "self"
So...I think that the greatest gift we can give any individual,
is the ability to realise that we can break out of any such cycle,
that we do not have to be self-centered or anthropocentric...
but we need to learn to be God-focussed (Theocentric)
If...in each of our situations, we learn to focus on God,
and not ourselves, I think that we would learn better lessons...
about ourselves, about God, and about how He is constantly moulding us
As i've been grappling with such questions,
I've also been hearing God speak, so allow me to share...
I'm not sure anyone can be shoe-horned into categories...
I have a driven side and also a side that is not driven,
& i puzzle myself too sometimes! HAHA! =)
But in application of the above,
I realise that "self" needs to be surrendered,
so that God can speak clearly...
And yes, as I've been seeking God, it's clear He is speaking,
the question He always asks is..."Are you listening, Rudy?"
I mean, I think that it's natural, when stuff linger; they matter,
I've stopped doubting, started asking more of God each time it happens
I want to know what God is teaching so that i can learn...
I've been thinking hard on several topics & enjoying it...=)
I think there is a certain pleasure & joy in the rigours of the mind
taking a prolonged think on a subject so that more facets take shape
It intrigues me, how many things have multiple angles...
As I was thinking on personal vision & God's timing,
it also struck me that selfish desires & fear surely colour my thoughts
But when things are surrendered back, it becomes clearer
& I think that there are some walks that need to be shared
I'm thinking that...in life, we're called upon to have many things...
A vision, dreams, plans, desires, relationships, "be a leader"...etc
while that helps some people, for others, it greatly hinders...
I've seen examples of both driven & non-driven individuals,
and i do not think one is better than the other...
The driven person is typically, also fighting a battle with himself,
they have many dreams, desires and aims, but they frequently fall prey to "more"
trying to acquire what they do not have, in hope that the next goal is better,
If this is not watched out for, all we build is a self-centered gospel...
one based on tangible achievements, one based on looking "successful"
it is a house of mirrors that may not show up true character within
The non-driven individual is almost diametrically opposite...
they appear to have no plan, are haphazard, living for the moment,
because they fail to see ahead, they frequently repeat mistakes,
go through lessons again, beat themselves up for those,
and it leads to a cycle of berating themselves, being their own worst enemy
They live life to the fullest now, but think that they scarcely have a future hope
Are either of these good or bad? Is any one of these better than the other?
I think that...those are the wrong questions to ask...
If we think on it, those are behaviours that we are born with,
yes, we will grow, learn & mature, but we each have a personality,
that will always show up in the way that we do things...
But as i've been thinking on it...driven or non-driven is not the issue,
if we look at both of those examples, there is a certain bent towards..."self"
the driven man, becomes proud, almost narcissistic...building up "self"
the non-driven man, compares with others, tears himself down...
while it is undoubtedly painful, it is still a relentless focus on "self"
So...I think that the greatest gift we can give any individual,
is the ability to realise that we can break out of any such cycle,
that we do not have to be self-centered or anthropocentric...
but we need to learn to be God-focussed (Theocentric)
If...in each of our situations, we learn to focus on God,
and not ourselves, I think that we would learn better lessons...
about ourselves, about God, and about how He is constantly moulding us
As i've been grappling with such questions,
I've also been hearing God speak, so allow me to share...
I'm not sure anyone can be shoe-horned into categories...
I have a driven side and also a side that is not driven,
& i puzzle myself too sometimes! HAHA! =)
But in application of the above,
I realise that "self" needs to be surrendered,
so that God can speak clearly...
And yes, as I've been seeking God, it's clear He is speaking,
the question He always asks is..."Are you listening, Rudy?"
...If you seek great things for yourself, thinking, “God has called me for this and for that,” you barricade God from using you. As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God’s interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord.
I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, “Lord, this causes me such heartache.” To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. Doing this creates for me my own cozy “world within the world,” and God will not be allowed to move me from it because of my fear of being “frost-bitten.”
Taken from my devotional "Utmost for His Highest" Nov 10, 2011
I've no real ambitions when it comes to work & life,
I dislike standing on a stage, I shy away from applause and grandstanding,
I much prefer a shadow role, one like sound, photography etc
Yes, I can do public speaking/singing, but I do not really enjoy it...
But i realise i can communicate onstage...
So i do it only...but firmly and foremost on my mind, it's for Christ's glory
I've no real desire to change the world by having mega rallies,
and going to the world to speak with millions hold little appeal...
My gifts and talents lie more in caring for individuals,
I desire depth, to really know one person, more than getting to know hundreds
Parties sap me, but having just one good conversation helps alot!
I prefer to journey with people through life...living through my life,
pointing the way, supporting those who need, spurring those who struggle
I fight for the underdog as much as I love those who are brilliant stars...
But...and this is another clear application for me...
knowing all of the above about myself, does little...
if it prevents me from taking a step of faith when God calls
I quote from my devotional above again...
I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, “Lord, this causes me such heartache.” To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness.
So yes, i'm learning this lesson in this season in life...and as i posted the video yesterday, truly, let me learn what it means to live fully with You in my life Lord! =)
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