Consolidation

Some seasons feel like death, others like a fresh beginning

There is a common thought, that it's in the "normalcy" of life,
that we really live out what we believe to be our faith

Some are content to live out Mon-Sat differently from Sunday,
others try their best to remember to be "good" yet frequently forget...

Then, there are those who effortlessly live out what they have,
because they are living in the knowledge of true Joy, real bliss,
a blessedness of knowing that they are Loved in spite of themselves,
fully cognizant of the grace extended to them, yet not taking it for granted.

And truly, most of us struggle with that...
there is an intellectual assent that God "ought to" be first,
but the practice of that is severely handicapped,
mostly because our hearts are all aflutter with our distractions

There are many things that compete for our affections,
and really, we find it easier to love these things...
because they are more tangible, they grant us a pleasure we desire,
there is a longing to fulfill our eyes, and our senses...

One thing that i've learnt, and am still learning through the years,
we are given the ability to choose, and we can choose to see God or miss Him,
frequently, it's not that God is silent, but that...we have chosen to ignore him
Or we doubt when it is plain, and then we stumble on our unbelief...

Maybe it's not that we ought to value the struggle with God,
we should properly value...the surrender of ourselves...
That we should try not to just be led by the emotions or desires of the instant,
but as we take a step back, maybe we'd see God in every moment...

"Love of God is pure when joy and suffering 

inspire and equal degree of gratitude" 

Simone Weil

It may not be our plan, our desire...
but if it is His, then why do we doubt His goodness? His Love?
I like how C.S. Lewis puts it...

"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us;

we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be"

But even as we wonder, can we trust...really trust?
I think that God is in the business of stretching us...
Growing us in faith, in Love, and in the depth of our devotion to Him,
if we cannot Love Him with our whole being,
we will fail miserably if we try to love anything else too.

Dearest Lord Jesus,

I'm learning that You alone can rescue us from ourselves,

May the deepest depths, our furthest flung selves

be covered over by your boundless grace...

enthralled by your marvelous Love...

and may we give you our highest Praise! =)