Today...after Christmas service, had lunch with the others at Holland V and waited for the longest time for our meal to arrive!
WT, Ah Seng & my meal was the last to arrive cuz they didn't happen to mention that they are run out of linguine...gosh...and it was a pretty surreal time there. I was hungry, though not anymore by the time the food came. And yeah...instead of moving too much around, i just basically sat there to stone.
I just felt such a sense of ...blehness...
thought it was cuz of fatigue, since i didn't sleep much! But my afternoon nap didn't really help much, woke up, returned the car then went for dinner...and that's when it hit me...as i looked around, i could not help but feel "bleh..." or maybe...more accurately, it was a sense of despondency, a sense of sadness...
I think it started when Ben Ooi mentioned something as he read the Liveline article on foreign workers here, and he told me how his heart was wrenched by this group of people...well...it set me thinking, and in the evening, as i was getting dinner, i was so struck with compassion for the lady who got me my yong tau foo, she has a gnarled hand...one that is stuck in a certain clench...and she was hard at work on Christmas, serving customers like me. Does your soul cry out for such as these...i know that Jesus' does
It struck me that it was just like that when Jesus came so many years ago...everyone was busy, going about life as usual, when the greatest gift was delivered and presented to us. It was such an "unknown" event, yet the most earthshaking event also...
Makes me value what i do even more...i dun care if i'm just a tiny drop in an ocean...even if i make just a small indiscernable ripple, i care no longer...it's not about me, it's about doing what i'm compelled to do, using my life to honour God in the best way possible. It is tempting sometimes to look at what i "do-not-have", yet i also see that alot of times, being content with doing my best for the least, for the lost, for those who have no capacity to repay me, that is what makes my heart truly soar...it's like...a little bit of heaven looking into those eyes and feeling that unfettered flutter in my heart. Maybe that is why i like to look people in the eye...i'm looking for heaven, to give it or to connect with some kindred soul who has that apart from the trappings of the world.
Lord Jesus, today, i realise the reality of the poverty of a world without you anew, and i see how poor i am when i overlook it too. In the richness of Christ, allow me to have a greater sense of how to live my life to the fullest, give my best, my riches, my all to bear for your kingdom work. I desire to show the Love of Christ, the fullness of Joy in You, the abundance You give, and the freedom of spirit You release, Lord, teach me so that i may show it with my life. In every season, for every reason and purpose you call me to, be glorified through me. In Jesus' blessed name i pray, AMEN
No comments:
Post a Comment