bifurcation

The weekend away was...needed

Glad to have gotten it,

though the irony was...

I scheduled my silent retreat...

but it was during the noisiest F1 weekend. haha!

I'm a user of technology,

maybe even love it abit too much,

love how it helps connect,

yet also, aware of how it distracts

No body wants to talk, really talk anymore,

not the shallow, update life kinda talk,

but those deep, no holds barred, authentic soul release kinda chats,

maybe the facade seems to hold too strong...

I was reminded that, perhaps, as I feel this...That it's also on God's heart...

Like, how the God of the universe knows our deepest heart cry,

and yet, we seldom talk to Him about it, turning instead to others,

to "wise counsel" or sometimes, worse still, an unfounded anger at Him.

The greatest work is the work of prayer,

the steady discipline of seeking time with God,

the model of Jesus was that way, 

turning away from crowds, going off alone, 

I wonder, in using a sanctified imagination...

what did Jesus do in those times with God?
Was it spent in silence and solitude? A deep soul rest in God?

Was it spent in lament and tears? At the blindness or stubborn will of men?

Was it intercession and thanksgiving? A time of spiritual war in the heavenlies?

Was it a time of worship and awe?
Turning His eyes from the earth's broken condition to Heaven's perfect splendor?

And what was it like...when Jesus returned from the mountain to minister to others?
Did He feel He was leaving someplace better for someplace worse?
Did He have to force Himself to make that choice to enter into others sins?

Was it easy for Him to exercise Love even when people mocked Him?

Ed P. mentioned that when we are weak, Christ is strong...

Jesus, God himself...constantly chose to be weak, humble, and obedient,

taking on the form of human flesh...

And the irony? 

Us humans, in weak flesh, thought we were God, judging Christ,

and crucifying Him and attempting to eradicate His divinity...

How can it be? And yet, we try to do it everyday still...

We think that we are God, thinking we know better...
when that is surely not the case...
Neglecting to go to our knees, or to even ask God what He thinks

don't you think that saddens His heart?

I know it does, and I know that I've failed too,

But God, my struggle in this is leading where I have not been,

I trust in You and I'm following, but I also know that I can't do it alone,

so Lord, same prayer, pls raise up a generation of Faith-filled believers,

ones who believe in You more than they do in themselves, 

people who are whole-hearted for you, not playing half-hearted games,

ones who will hunger for and devour your living word, 

so that it may emerge from their lives in actions that astound others,

I believe that You raise up each generation to stand on the shoulders of those before,

Lord, I am a generation before, and I'm willing to give a leg up to those ones, but...

where are they Lord? Forgive my blind eyes or unbelief of the moment...

Please raise them up to be fearless yet humble, faithful yet unwavering,

Lovers of God, not lovers of the counterfeit pleasures of this world...

Lord, thank You for loving us and covering us with Your righteousness, 

teach us to live out Your victory daily and so honour You constantly. AMEN