Christians don't tell lies, they sing them...

Wow...i heard the line above in a podcast...and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Christians don't tell lies, they sing them..."

Caused me to be utterly stunned as i realised the immense measure of truth in that! Music is the soundtrack of my life, my companion on many desperate days, and podcasts are the messages that stir my heart with the truth of God. But yeah...sometimes, the songs that they inspire in my heart...they....just stay there, they stew and they ruminate, but it doesn't come out in my hands. It does not transform my life or make me into the person that i know i ought to be. Instead...sometimes i'm just a pale image of who i really ought to be.

And yeah...the songs that ring in my ears? They convict me once again...of how i could be more, how my sights are set too low, how i've been crawling in the mud, when i should be soaring up in the heights! But yeah...the good thing is that i'm not gonna let it get me down, the songs inspire a loftier vision in me, one that i wanna stumble towards! Tripping up is normal, but heading onwards and upwards ought always to be my goal! =)

Well...thank God for the wake up call! =)

Heartrates!

~~Posted this on Monday!~~

I'm quite excited to run the (half) marathon on Sunday! =) it's actually my first so yeah...will try not to push too hard at first! Hope the excitement doesn't get to me! =)

I found out some interesting stuff yesterday that i'm still trying to research and come to a conclusion...

Found out that my resting heart rate is about 60...(average male is 70, female 75! Go check! hee!) lower probably means more efficient, those Tour De France cyclists and athletes have a resting heart rate of 35-40! Amazing stuff!

And yeah...during my run with Leslie, Gra & Rufus...i was wearing a heart rate monitor, and it recorded that i averaged 173 beats per min for the whole run...according to the stats table and all, that is about 90% of my max heart rate. Technically, that is not supposed to happen, we can only exercise at 90-100% of max heart rate for a maximum of 5 mins (then we exhaust and have to slow down) so yeah...i'm trying to reconcile that right now.

Basically, i'm finding out that it is pretty normal...everyone has a different range of heart motion and all. Lance Armstrong has a 32 resting heart rate and he can max at 200plus, so that's a mega huge range. I'm finding out more about my body and range! So yeah...it's pretty good for me! Glad to know that i have a higher personal range and am able to sustain it! That's helpful info!

I think that i was pretty much training so that i can finish the half in a good time! 2hrs 10mins was my target. The ironic thing is that as i'm learning more, i'm deciding to pace down a lil, i'm gonna use the heart rate monitor during race day too...and i will run at a slightly lower pace than i did yesterday...not going to run for the timing anymore, gonna run more to sustain within my target heart range for the 2 hours plus...that would push my body to be more efficient and actually bring far more lasting results! =)

After all...this StandChart half marathon is a sprint! Life is the TRUE marathon isn't it? =) Time to steward my body well! =)

Fanatical!

A PURE WILL loves God with the whole heart and soul and mind. It is "fanatical"—the greatest insult the modern mind can conceive, and the greatest compliment God can give. It is also the greatest compliment a lover can give: "I love you with my whole heart and soul. My love is not divided. You have no rival."

Peter Kreeft, Back to Virtue

My eyes keep flying to amazing quotes today! And i can't help but be stirred! What truth there is in such words of wisdom!

Many times, "fanatical" carries such a negative connotation but Hmmm...it made me think.

If i get affected by such a word spoken from the lips of men, then aren't i allowing the opinions of men control me? So...in that analysis, am i serving God or serving men? Looks like growth also means growing a thicker skin and not being so affected by so mere words!

Undivided Love demands that...a ceaseless pursuit of something real, total commitment to a cause, not a limp-wristed "love" that falls flat at the first discouraging comment.

That which you fear...you will serve.

May i fear only one thing...the Lord.

Are you scarred?

On my verseminder, it says this for today...

On the last day, Jesus will look us over...
not for medals, diplomas or honours
but for scars.

How true...the battles we fight and press on into, the things REALLY worth fighting for, probably can't ever be quantified, not in a certificate, not in money, possessions, or acclaim.

Yet, every scar that we earn by learning more and more to be like Christ, those are the things that we should carry with humility, the scars of a battle well-fought, and a lesson well-learnt.

It would be a sad day to find out that we had been studying hard, striving hard, achieving many things, yet taking the wrong exam all the time.

Our test is faithfulness to the Word of God, to our Lord Jesus Christ, to know and to worship God in all we do. Failing this test is the biggest failure of all.

Are you studying the right things?

Battle and journey on!

Life is now a battle and a journey. As Eugene Peterson reminds us, "We fight the forces that oppose our becoming whole; we must find our way through difficult and unfamiliar territory to our true home." It's not that there aren't joy and beauty, love and adventure right now - there are. The invasion of the kingdom has begun. But life in it's fullness is yet to come. So we must take seriously the care of our hearts. We must watch over our desire with a fierce love and vigilance, as if we were protecting our most treasured possession. We must do battle with the enemies of our hearts - those sirens that would seduce and shipwreck our desire and that arrows that aim to kill outright. And we must journey forward, toward God, toward the Great Restoration and the adventures to come. How awful to reach the end of our life's road and find we haven't brought our hearts along with us. ~the journey of desire~ John Eldredge

never know, never understand why...

To some, failure is a crippling experience,
for me, it has mostly been a speed bump and then something which i resolve to learn from...to grow into, something to spur me on to be better...

some lessons seem so 'unlearnable',
I wish the righteousness from God that covers me,
would actually help answer ALL questions, and NOW!
but still...some questions have no answers...just YET! =P

perhaps...the answers would never come...
even though they lie there within reach
why no answers still?
that is real sad...
If you have the answers,
why keep silent?
i can never know,
nor understand why...



Learning so much more about questions and answers these days.
How some answers are in our hands but we fail to steward them well...it dies slowly in our hands if we do not wield it well...

This week...we ran a movie...a movie about a relationship between Father and daughter, it was a 7 min short film, followed by an hour long discussion and a testimony.

It was a fabulous time with friends, and friends of friends...
Talking about issues, asking questions, answering and sharing our hearts
In there people heard about God, saw the same imperfections we all have,
and how there IS an Answer...and the Answer is a PERSON,
the man Jesus, who died on that Cross for us...

How many of us have that Answer in our hands? plenty...
How many of us are gladly sharing it? ...i dunno, but i wish i saw more of it.

Thank you Lord for your Answer, the perfect Answer.
Teach us how to steward it well, and to be sensitive to your leading in all situations! I thank you for the wonderful time last night with friends, invited guests, people who just walked in because of the publicity! Thank you for these people whom you have prepared, may they have a sense of what it means to have a real and living relationship in You.

For those who still have unanswered questions, may you spur them to constantly seek until they find the Answer, in you...Amen.

Car Crash Randoms...

Ever been in a car going real fast and the driver gets a cramp in his toe? =) Man...some things test your trust like no other! And some things test your pain tolerance like NO OTHER! =)

Another car crash random...and possibly the worst dream ever!
Imagine...you're driving, and the car you're in crashes, you get flung over the dashboard, crash through the windscreen, land on the road...just when you thought the worst was over...you get run over...man...what a lousy day!

Hmmm...why am i telling stories about random events? Well...i think, so many times, we go through a day and our emotions run through the gamut of highs and lows.

Like the fast car, our lives can be going smoothly and everything fine, but then a shockingly unexpected event (Toe CRAMP!) happens, and it shocks and tests us! Reacting badly would probably cause us to crash, causing some major accident, but bearing it and clinging on to the wheel tightly, probably saves us and the people around us!

Moral of the story: Grin and bear it when unexpected toe cramps happen!

The 2nd random story...
Car crashes are like disasters, just when you think the worst is over, something else crops up...it's not just an accident, you could be flung out, run over, suffer whiplash, any other weird combination of unpleasant events. All of them totally out of control.

Doesn't life feel like that sometimes?

"I don't deserve this..."
"Why?"
"What is happening?"
"Why this...why now?"
"How can this happen?"
"AAAARGH!"

For me...i just let go, surrender, and let God take over.
Christ is my Righteousness, the Rock on which i stand,
the one who is my Advocate, He will never leave me nor forsake me!

What is your response?

My com crashed...and so did this blog!

Haha! Series of unfortunate events!

Been without the use of my laptop for almost a month and that led to my blog also going offline! Hmmm...wonder what is next! =P

Recap...

At summit now, it's been a great time!

Finally have time to blog...so yeah...i must be having a good break time! =)

In fact, i've had the opportunity to catch up on the things that i've needed to do, and get good rest in the process! Very glad for all of that! =)

The biggest tick on my list has been keeping up with my run schedule...proud that of that! =) Managed to run to Bedok Jetty and back...in 52:55, 26mins there and 26:55 back, not too bad esp since i just wanted the long run and not really run for timing! =) *PLEASED!* And today...just as a maintenance run, i ran til the OBS and back in 15 mins there and 13:35 back. haha! Faster coming back cuz i wanted to push a little even though muscle fatigue was setting in! Ahaha! This is becoming an exercise log...oh well...just pleased! =)

Other than that, it was a very good recap day today with Bill L.
Today, we talked about

Heart Shapers
Heart Breakers &
Heart Makers.

And yeah...it was another good time of reflection and going over the thoughts and experiences of the past...I think what he shared about the 5th grade loser, Rich Man's Bread and DIG! DIG! DIG!, were all very significant indicators to look out for! But yeah...the thing that i take back the most about it is how genuine authenticity and a clear look at ourselves (proper uncoloured self or peer examination) is very important for a person's well being!

So yes...want to thank you my Men-in-Covenant, the saturday breakfasts have been a time of great growth and breakthrough! And apart from that...the significant other people, you have been used greatly to impact and to help mould and shape me! Thank you! May all the things that we have gone through shape us into better instruments to be used for His Glory!

Ok...more updates next time! =)

Musings

"The good man does not escape all troubles - he has them too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one. God even protects him from accidents" (Psalm 34:19,20).

In this world, we will have trouble, it is a fact, it is a given, yet many times, we wonder and wish that we could live a trouble free life. Isn't that very true? Deep inside, we all want a perfect life, paradise living, no cares, no concerns, no worries, just fun, laughter, enjoyment of everything and pure delight in every recess of our bones!

Why the disparity of what we want and what we have?

I think it is for the simple reason that we're not perfect.

And the paradox is that...it is in this imperfectness that we can be made whole! When we submit and surrender our strivings to be perfect, when we realise that it is REALLY beyond us, then we can release ourselves from the slavery of self-striving and wholly depend on something greater than us.

I've found Jesus, or rather HE has found me.

In the deepest and hardest moments, my source of Joy and comfort have come in such a tangible manner, that i know that it is truly a real, "active and living" relationship. One that God himself cares to feel my hurt and pain. He sits with me, and walks with me, and doesn't stop there, but draws me out, heals and shows me where i have gone on my own, so that i can lean on Him again!

That is a Grace that is LIVING, not just a one time act, that is Love-in-action, something that brings me to my knees...

My goal based on the above verse...I acknowledge that I will have trouble, everyone will...but i want to learn the Grace that acknowledges that God will show His character and help, protect, love and teach me gently through each situation. May i know the Lord more and more intimately through all of these! =)

Tears...

Dear Dad,
You made me cry today...
It was delayed, it was so pent up...it was so painful...it hurt
Everything right was done,
and everything else out of control...

Yet...i don't hate you,
In fact, I Love you MORE...
That you care...that you see, that you know...
All your promises, they won't let go of me...

Thank you.

I declare my dependence on you, Lord Jesus
You who gave your life for me,
You who endured my pain and more on that cross,
The road that led to calvary seemed as broken as your body on that fateful day,
yet 3 days later, it led to forgiveness, redemption...it leads even now to eternity...

Thank you.

I know you wrote the story,
I know you willingly endured the pain,
I know that you cover me with love,
over betrayal, over senselessness, over loss...

You hold me in your gentle embrace, even when i lash out...
i'm SoOo sorry & Thank you.

In your love, You give me things i do not deserve,
and withhold the punishment i should bear...
Thank you.

Nothing can cause your Love to lose it's hold on me...Gosh!

I wait for great things,
The good that you have promised,
I hold such hopes in You because of your Gentleness,
Because of your everlasting Grace...

So apt...so apt...=)

Declaration of Dependence

A whimsical song that speaks of the truth within...

Declaration of Dependence - Steven Curtis Chapman

Now just the other day I overheard
a flower talking to the sky
He said you know that I would be
nothing without You, oh, oh
He said you give me rain, you give
the sun a place to shine
You’re everything that my whole
existence comes down to, oh, oh
And then the flower started singing a song
Before I knew it I was singing along
And we sang…

This is my declaration of dependence

This is my declaration of my need

This is my declaration of dependence

On the one who gave His life to me

Now, let me say that I’m the kind of
guy who wants to do it all myself
Don’t want to ask for help, don’t like
to stop for directions, oh, oh
But in reality I’m nothing on my own
It’s by God’s grace alone that
I can make this confession
All that I am and all I’m hoping to be
Is all and only what He’s given to me
So I say…

And I know this is how my life was meant to be
I was made for this dependency
On the one who has created me
So I’ll sing my declaration song
For the one I am depending on
And I hope you’ll sing along

True Beauty

"That which is beautiful is not always good;
but that which is good is always beautiful"

I'm a believer of the bible, and at it's core, the bible speaks so much truth, about how beauty can never been seen in the exterior, only in the interior...

"You see the depths of my heart...yet you love me the same...you are amazing, God"

And truly, the true Joy that a person gets is only in discovering the simple truth of the matter.

That which is GOOD is ALWAYS gonna be BEAUTIFUL!


Lord, i pray that your truth and your goodness will never be obscured in your people. And I pray that your beloved ones will also learn to recognise your truth so that in all situations, they recognise the good that comes from you instead of the deception that may come from aesthetic beauty that obscure a woeful inner life. May our walk always speak loud! And may it always speak of you!
In Jesus Name, AMEN.

What a season!

Bruce Springsteen said,
"A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be."

The quote is attributed to Bruce Springsteen, but i think God is wiser, He knew us so well and He knew we would always be plodding along in this journey trying to rely on our own strength, so His encouragement has always been persevere, keep on doing good, never give up, Hope in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding! I am the Vine, you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, but apart from me, you can do NOTHING!

"Everyone is looking for a quick fix, but what they really need is fitness. People who look for fixes stop doing what's right when pressure is relieved. People who pursue fitness do what they should no matter what the circumstances are." Kevin Meyers

Yups...i don't want quick fixes, i wanna learn, persevere, press on always, sit humbly and wait on the Lord, listening intently, trusting always, cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! Like in a garden, the fruits take time to develop, and even in the seemingly "barren" seasons, God is working and the roots are taking in nutrients to nourish and grow the fruit!

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand
When you don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand...
trust His heart.

Yeah! I trust His heart! Always have, always will! It has been a wonderfully fruitful month and a half away, and it was an amazingly blessed time especially the past week in Korea, doing things i love with the Lord i love, and people who have given everything to be there, and it was not only a great time learning, serving, and being inspired! But also, spending quality time with quality people, something that really blessed me! =) The Lord is really amazing in the ways that He plans things! I stand in awe at His wondrous Love! And what a journey of Faith this is! =) WOO!

I'm back!

Yes, i'm home! =)

Flying off again on the 29th til the 9th tho! will update when i can!

Off for a month...=)

Pray as the team goes forward!

May we achieve each and every milestone prepared by the Lord for us! =)

Thank you for your partnership in Prayer! =)

Why? Why? Why?

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

Indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Who knows what i'm going through? No one...no one but you Lord.
And though my heart is torn, i'll praise you in this storm...

Praise you in this storm - Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

This brokenness, senselessness, darkness, pain, unanswered questions, weariness...Every tear i've ever cried, you hold in your hands, you never left my side, though my heart is torn, you heard my cry to you and raised me up again, my strength is almost gone, how can i carry on if i can't find you?

I lift my eyes to you Lord...I will praise you in this storm. I CHOOSE to Praise you, I CHOOSE to be thankful, the troubles i have are "light and momentary" as compared to your eternal Glory! Thank you Lord, truly...i thank you...in faith, i believe, and i thank you...

Been awhile...

It's been such a long while since my last post!
Guess it's the busyness that comes with preparing for graduation, helping with the video, juggling work, time with people who need it, doing my newsletter, sending it out and meeting people, preparing the trip admin details, many long meetings to hammer out the program and all, on top of planning for the year ahead and doing transitioning...gosh...busy busy!

But also, in the season of extreme busyness, i'm learning to discipline myself more on the TRULY important stuff. Somedays, i just can't do it...i just feel like taking a rest day and crashing into bed, but yeah...God is always good and faithful! Just have to pray a little more and remember that i have a strength that is beyond mine! Pace myself well, so i dun burn out and return early to rest and recharge!

I read this today in my morning devotion...and it just made me smile! =)

"THE LONGING of the soul for God only makes itself felt when all lesser delights and earthly joys are relegated to their right place."

I think that inner longing is always there, but sometimes it is brushed over in the busyness, or forgotten by neglect. And yeah, God is jealous of us that way, desiring for us as a bridegroom for the bride! Competing passions are actually setting themselves up against the Rock of Ages, so yes...we have to learn the lesson of submission and setting the Right thing in the Right Place daily, the more willingly we do that, the better for us.

Sometimes, we get blind to what is truly our focus and when we have to be re-directed, there are grace-filled ways of the Lord, and there are also grace-filled, yet painful surrenders of the things we have clung onto too tightly. When we're forced to surrender, it's mainly cuz we have held on to something too tightly, of our own volition.

So yeah...may the longing for my Lord, constantly be my number 1 passion!

I think I'm a funny person!
In a world that is so visual, so upfront, and out for promoting self, i much prefer taking the backseat, doing the background, or groundwork matters that make something tick, and those are not the most glamourous jobs! yeah...prefer to leave that to those who relish the limelight! I'll much rather be a man of substance, a person of character, far above "looking good" to man, or standing in the place of limelight. I've always done the little things, and yes, some appreciate them, and others overlook them, i used to get rather wistful at that sometimes! Then i realised that if i did feel terrible when i'm unappreciated, it's probably cuz i'm actually longing for the praises of man! So deceitful is the heart of man! I'm glad God in His grace allowed me to see and realise that...it matters little now, cuz yeah...i'm really NOT doing it for man, i've realigned, it's now my own act of stewardship, my service to the Lord! And yes, when i recognise that i'm feeling wistful, i now know why, and that helps me deal with it much better! =)

Yeah...last year, was really a watershed year for me, many things have changed, and i've learnt more and more about myself, and yeah, examining motives more than actions, wanna continue in that vein and be refined under the Master's hand!

That best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.
-- William Wordsworth --

May i always give the best portions of what i have! =)

What are your standards?

Before a man can do things there must be things he WILL NOT do.
~Mencius~

What will you not do? Where are your OB (Out-of-bounds) markers? I like this term...i learnt it in my journalism class, and it has always struck me as a wise statement! =)

In the local journalistic reporting context, when OB markers are mentioned, it seems to convey a negative vibe, an area best left unventured, an area that we should practice self-censorship.

But instinctively, i sense that in everything, we must have a certain standard, certain rules we live by, some things that we do not compromise, something that we will NOT do! Imagine playing a game WITHOUT rules, yeah...we played one such game before (at least, we thought it had no rules!) and in the manual (notice i didn't say rulebook! hahaha!) It ended with this line "...Any other disputes should be settled by loud arguments among the players, with the owner of the game having the last word."

Ahahah! =) So...we see, at the end of the day, even in conflict resolution, there was a need to set a certain standard, a person with the last say.

Similarly in life, even if we refuse to acknowledge it, we all have taken on a certain set of rules which help us govern our actions. And actually, one of the best gauges of our standards is to ask...What is it you WILL NOT do?

It's easy to make statements like "I'll try anything once", "I'm game for it"...we live and are shaped by peer pressure, "One-up-manship" (always trying to be better then someone else), we always seem to appeal to people's sense of fun, daring them to do all sorts of things.

Yet...how many people challenge us in the things that are really important? Helping us set standards so that we know exactly what we will and will NOT do! I've been reading biographies again, and i've seen a certain pattern...the best sports coaches, they may not have been the best players of the game, but they were certainly masters of the RULES of the game! The better they knew the rules, the better they could play the game! In soccer, a keen knowledge of the rules is needed to know how to use the offside rule, especially now with the rule that if a player is not involved in play, he's considered "inactive"!

Hmmm...there are so many parallels that can be drawn, but yes...living outside of boundaries, living in rebellion to the laws, being unconscious of our standards...these things will cause us to stumble and fall when the times of testing come.

We have an unchangeable, immovable, divine and eternal standard in Christ, so let's be clear on what the Living Word says so that we hold to the RIGHT standards!

The Way

But to deviate from the truth
for the sake of some prospect of hope of our own
can never be wise,
however slight that deviation may be.

It is not our judgement of the situation which can show us what is wise,
but only the truth of the word of God.

Here alone lies the promise of God's faithfulness and help.
It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple
is always to abide solely by the Word of God in all simplicity.
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer~

Does God ever oversleep? If He doesn't, then why do we hurry, engage in such hustle and bustle, why do we rush about so quickly we hardly slow down to listen for His still, small voice? Don't we believe that God has His eyes and His hands on things? Why do we act like He IS sleeping?

Does our life ever seem like a maze? A crazy series of twists and turns, seemingly without rhyme or reason...are we...in reality...lost, floundering and just making the best of a bad situation? Trying to make the best decisions we can? Where is God in this?

His answer?

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life!

While our nature demands that we see the road ahead, or that we're given a set of directions to reach there, we often fail to see that we hold the answers in our hands...but we lack the understanding to apply it.

I am the Way...- God is saying He is the roadmap, He is the direction giver, or...more correctly, He is the direction! We ask for a roadmap, a compass or the road, Jesus says, cling on to me, I'll provide all of those because I am the Way, you just have to cling on to me! Can we accept such a simple yet utterly faith-dependent answer?