Wow!

Hmmm...i was searching for this song called "I would die for you" and i never expected to find so many songs with that very same title, and most of them are dark or emo songs...nothing like the one i was looking for.

Well...here's the song, and it's not emo at all, i think it's possibly the truest and rightest way things can be expressed!

"I would die for you" - Mercyme

And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I'm here
You never know why You're alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?

No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free

Not many would consider this freedom, but truly...Life is never clearer than when seen thru the lense of death. I look thru everything i do with this in mind...not my death, i'm not that morbid, but the death of Christ who paid the cost for us all. Yes, ALL of us, unworthy us.

Gonna be teaching on His death this weekend, and this always fills me with awe & trembling. How can so great a sacrifice be encapsulated into one small teaching? I dunno...but i will try, cuz it is the greatest truth and the one that REALLY needs to be heard.

Christ's death compels me, it really does...
there is nothing else that i count on par with Christ.
NOT EVEN CLOSE...

To borrow from the song...

I pray that you will use my life,
in whatever way your Name is glorified,
I promise you, i'll give you all there is,
how can i possibly do less,
when through Your own death...i live
You never know why you're alive,
until you know what you would die for.

I would die for You

Beautiful

I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Isaiah 61:10

So many things to be thankful for...chief of which would be that i have been clothed in garments far more precious than i deserve, and honoured with robes i could never 'earn'.

I'm just beginning to fathom His Love, really...

How amazing you are Lord! My soul overflows...for you!

My redeemer is faithful and true

My Redeemer Is Faithful And True
(Steven Curtis Chapman and James Isaac Elliott)

[Psalm 103:17]

As I look back on the road I've travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.

Wow!

Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have
But...of the best leaders
When their work is finished
Their task is done
The people will remark
We have done it ourselves
~Chinese Proverb~

Year-End musings...
I really beginning to enjoy seeing how things unfold!

So many times, in so many examples in the bible, the heroes of Faith did not live long enough to see what their faithfulness produced. I think that is why my heart always jumps and delights in the victories that i see! It reminds me that it is not just the fruit of this generation, or people, but alot of times it is the fruit of several generations of faithful people. Gosh...what a marvel, and an astounding story that is!

What an amazing tapestry God paints. It is totally amazing and beautiful! I am just beginning to grasp the ramifications of the mega-masterpiece that God is weaving! But already, the smile on my face matches the jump in my heart! =)

Faithfulness is not an accident

"Faithfulness is NOT an accident.
It arises out of what one is through and through"
~Leon Morris~

Quotes frequently catch my eye & pique my interest. And this quote is poignant and true, the true test of faithfulness is in the midst of trial. Only the fiery furnace can show up innate character weaknesses that can be covered up under layers of facades, and beneath the thin veil of a masquerade.

The secret of being real is to realise that we don't "have it all together", we are insecure, weak, hurt and imperfect people. Realising our frailties and acknowledging them (as opposed to covering them up) helps us face ourselves as who we REALLY are, and then embarks us on a journey to being better. The symptoms highlight the problem, so let's not mask the symptoms, but face them because they help us to understand the real root problem so that we can work on them.

Faithfulness even when we are weak is the hallmark of a deeper inner strength, a constitution shored up, and in my personal experience, sometimes...Faithfulness is just holding on, holding on and holding on, to what is good & true & real, rather than just giving up at the first sign of trouble. Faithfulness to me is a stubborn reluctance to give up, it is a rememberance of the beautiful, forgetting the ugly...trusting in God for the best. Faithfulness is hard, the rewards difficult to see during the trial, it is not easy, but it is divine.

5 loaves & 2 fishes

"Take my 5 loaves & 2 fishes...
do with them as you will...i surrender...

take my fears, my inhibitions,
all my burdens, my ambitions,
you can use it all, no gift's too small...
I trust in You"

~Corrine May~

Ever felt like all you had to offer was a broken mess, things that do not seem beautiful, things that are unworthy of being given as gifts? Maybe the works of your hands seem useless, or your best efforts fall flat?

I've felt that...but better still, i've felt the redeeming presence of Jesus, the one who takes all that i have, then shapes, moulds, uses it, and crafts something beautiful out of it.

The brokenness i thought was ugly, the pain i felt was unjustified, the hunger that seemed never to be satiated, the scars that i didn't want to bear, the tears that seemed neverending, He took them all as i surrendered. And He used it all to bear witness to His awesome unending Love.

"You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle" (Psalm 56:8, ESV)

Yes Lord, use them all...no gift is too small...

My run in the sun... =)

If you observe a really happy man, you will find...
that he is happy in the course of living life
twenty-four crowded hours each day.
      -- W. Beran Wolfe

Yups...was very glad that throughout the training
and the long runs, it never got boring,
but in fact was very valuable time for me!
Clearing my head and spending time
with the Lord! =)

The half marathon was great!
So good that i really desired to continue running,
but haha! you can't do that! Pity!
But yeah...was still feeling pretty
good after the run!

As mentioned in an earlier post,
i wasn't running to aim for a timing,
just to maximise heart rate
and get a solid run under my belt!
so yeah...was a good perspective for me,
and the heart rate monitor was really good!
kept me in pace for the 21km!

In the end, i finished the run
in 2hrs 7min 7 secs!
Achieving my target
of a 2hr 10min run. =)

So yeah...very joyful! =)
Achieved my fitness goal for the year! =)
My early bday present! Thank you Lord! =)
Feels good to have accomplished
what i set out to do earlier this year! =)

Oh...and yeah...was very surprised to find out
that my resting heart rate the day
before the race was 56 beats/min!
That was exciting news to me!
haha! i'm mad! =P

Steward your body well!
Life is the TRUE marathon!

Marathon? Nah...

This was on my back during the StandChart run!

Okok...i didn't run the full marathon, just the half, so yeah...stone me, but my philosophy is still the same, Life is the true marathon, and i'm in it for the long haul! =)

Was just chatting with Ray, and he was mulling over how he cramped up and almost wanted to throw it all in. Well...i'm proud of him that he didn't, running a marathon is just like life in that way isn't it? It tests our resolve, when the trials and testings (cramps & pains) come, how do we react?

Those who hang in there, never give up, and finish the race...they and only they know the true satisfaction and the joy of finshing the race well.

I wanna finish the race of Life well...=)

Christians don't tell lies, they sing them...

Wow...i heard the line above in a podcast...and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Christians don't tell lies, they sing them..."

Caused me to be utterly stunned as i realised the immense measure of truth in that! Music is the soundtrack of my life, my companion on many desperate days, and podcasts are the messages that stir my heart with the truth of God. But yeah...sometimes, the songs that they inspire in my heart...they....just stay there, they stew and they ruminate, but it doesn't come out in my hands. It does not transform my life or make me into the person that i know i ought to be. Instead...sometimes i'm just a pale image of who i really ought to be.

And yeah...the songs that ring in my ears? They convict me once again...of how i could be more, how my sights are set too low, how i've been crawling in the mud, when i should be soaring up in the heights! But yeah...the good thing is that i'm not gonna let it get me down, the songs inspire a loftier vision in me, one that i wanna stumble towards! Tripping up is normal, but heading onwards and upwards ought always to be my goal! =)

Well...thank God for the wake up call! =)

Heartrates!

~~Posted this on Monday!~~

I'm quite excited to run the (half) marathon on Sunday! =) it's actually my first so yeah...will try not to push too hard at first! Hope the excitement doesn't get to me! =)

I found out some interesting stuff yesterday that i'm still trying to research and come to a conclusion...

Found out that my resting heart rate is about 60...(average male is 70, female 75! Go check! hee!) lower probably means more efficient, those Tour De France cyclists and athletes have a resting heart rate of 35-40! Amazing stuff!

And yeah...during my run with Leslie, Gra & Rufus...i was wearing a heart rate monitor, and it recorded that i averaged 173 beats per min for the whole run...according to the stats table and all, that is about 90% of my max heart rate. Technically, that is not supposed to happen, we can only exercise at 90-100% of max heart rate for a maximum of 5 mins (then we exhaust and have to slow down) so yeah...i'm trying to reconcile that right now.

Basically, i'm finding out that it is pretty normal...everyone has a different range of heart motion and all. Lance Armstrong has a 32 resting heart rate and he can max at 200plus, so that's a mega huge range. I'm finding out more about my body and range! So yeah...it's pretty good for me! Glad to know that i have a higher personal range and am able to sustain it! That's helpful info!

I think that i was pretty much training so that i can finish the half in a good time! 2hrs 10mins was my target. The ironic thing is that as i'm learning more, i'm deciding to pace down a lil, i'm gonna use the heart rate monitor during race day too...and i will run at a slightly lower pace than i did yesterday...not going to run for the timing anymore, gonna run more to sustain within my target heart range for the 2 hours plus...that would push my body to be more efficient and actually bring far more lasting results! =)

After all...this StandChart half marathon is a sprint! Life is the TRUE marathon isn't it? =) Time to steward my body well! =)

Fanatical!

A PURE WILL loves God with the whole heart and soul and mind. It is "fanatical"—the greatest insult the modern mind can conceive, and the greatest compliment God can give. It is also the greatest compliment a lover can give: "I love you with my whole heart and soul. My love is not divided. You have no rival."

Peter Kreeft, Back to Virtue

My eyes keep flying to amazing quotes today! And i can't help but be stirred! What truth there is in such words of wisdom!

Many times, "fanatical" carries such a negative connotation but Hmmm...it made me think.

If i get affected by such a word spoken from the lips of men, then aren't i allowing the opinions of men control me? So...in that analysis, am i serving God or serving men? Looks like growth also means growing a thicker skin and not being so affected by so mere words!

Undivided Love demands that...a ceaseless pursuit of something real, total commitment to a cause, not a limp-wristed "love" that falls flat at the first discouraging comment.

That which you fear...you will serve.

May i fear only one thing...the Lord.

Are you scarred?

On my verseminder, it says this for today...

On the last day, Jesus will look us over...
not for medals, diplomas or honours
but for scars.

How true...the battles we fight and press on into, the things REALLY worth fighting for, probably can't ever be quantified, not in a certificate, not in money, possessions, or acclaim.

Yet, every scar that we earn by learning more and more to be like Christ, those are the things that we should carry with humility, the scars of a battle well-fought, and a lesson well-learnt.

It would be a sad day to find out that we had been studying hard, striving hard, achieving many things, yet taking the wrong exam all the time.

Our test is faithfulness to the Word of God, to our Lord Jesus Christ, to know and to worship God in all we do. Failing this test is the biggest failure of all.

Are you studying the right things?

Battle and journey on!

Life is now a battle and a journey. As Eugene Peterson reminds us, "We fight the forces that oppose our becoming whole; we must find our way through difficult and unfamiliar territory to our true home." It's not that there aren't joy and beauty, love and adventure right now - there are. The invasion of the kingdom has begun. But life in it's fullness is yet to come. So we must take seriously the care of our hearts. We must watch over our desire with a fierce love and vigilance, as if we were protecting our most treasured possession. We must do battle with the enemies of our hearts - those sirens that would seduce and shipwreck our desire and that arrows that aim to kill outright. And we must journey forward, toward God, toward the Great Restoration and the adventures to come. How awful to reach the end of our life's road and find we haven't brought our hearts along with us. ~the journey of desire~ John Eldredge

never know, never understand why...

To some, failure is a crippling experience,
for me, it has mostly been a speed bump and then something which i resolve to learn from...to grow into, something to spur me on to be better...

some lessons seem so 'unlearnable',
I wish the righteousness from God that covers me,
would actually help answer ALL questions, and NOW!
but still...some questions have no answers...just YET! =P

perhaps...the answers would never come...
even though they lie there within reach
why no answers still?
that is real sad...
If you have the answers,
why keep silent?
i can never know,
nor understand why...



Learning so much more about questions and answers these days.
How some answers are in our hands but we fail to steward them well...it dies slowly in our hands if we do not wield it well...

This week...we ran a movie...a movie about a relationship between Father and daughter, it was a 7 min short film, followed by an hour long discussion and a testimony.

It was a fabulous time with friends, and friends of friends...
Talking about issues, asking questions, answering and sharing our hearts
In there people heard about God, saw the same imperfections we all have,
and how there IS an Answer...and the Answer is a PERSON,
the man Jesus, who died on that Cross for us...

How many of us have that Answer in our hands? plenty...
How many of us are gladly sharing it? ...i dunno, but i wish i saw more of it.

Thank you Lord for your Answer, the perfect Answer.
Teach us how to steward it well, and to be sensitive to your leading in all situations! I thank you for the wonderful time last night with friends, invited guests, people who just walked in because of the publicity! Thank you for these people whom you have prepared, may they have a sense of what it means to have a real and living relationship in You.

For those who still have unanswered questions, may you spur them to constantly seek until they find the Answer, in you...Amen.

Car Crash Randoms...

Ever been in a car going real fast and the driver gets a cramp in his toe? =) Man...some things test your trust like no other! And some things test your pain tolerance like NO OTHER! =)

Another car crash random...and possibly the worst dream ever!
Imagine...you're driving, and the car you're in crashes, you get flung over the dashboard, crash through the windscreen, land on the road...just when you thought the worst was over...you get run over...man...what a lousy day!

Hmmm...why am i telling stories about random events? Well...i think, so many times, we go through a day and our emotions run through the gamut of highs and lows.

Like the fast car, our lives can be going smoothly and everything fine, but then a shockingly unexpected event (Toe CRAMP!) happens, and it shocks and tests us! Reacting badly would probably cause us to crash, causing some major accident, but bearing it and clinging on to the wheel tightly, probably saves us and the people around us!

Moral of the story: Grin and bear it when unexpected toe cramps happen!

The 2nd random story...
Car crashes are like disasters, just when you think the worst is over, something else crops up...it's not just an accident, you could be flung out, run over, suffer whiplash, any other weird combination of unpleasant events. All of them totally out of control.

Doesn't life feel like that sometimes?

"I don't deserve this..."
"Why?"
"What is happening?"
"Why this...why now?"
"How can this happen?"
"AAAARGH!"

For me...i just let go, surrender, and let God take over.
Christ is my Righteousness, the Rock on which i stand,
the one who is my Advocate, He will never leave me nor forsake me!

What is your response?

My com crashed...and so did this blog!

Haha! Series of unfortunate events!

Been without the use of my laptop for almost a month and that led to my blog also going offline! Hmmm...wonder what is next! =P

Recap...

At summit now, it's been a great time!

Finally have time to blog...so yeah...i must be having a good break time! =)

In fact, i've had the opportunity to catch up on the things that i've needed to do, and get good rest in the process! Very glad for all of that! =)

The biggest tick on my list has been keeping up with my run schedule...proud that of that! =) Managed to run to Bedok Jetty and back...in 52:55, 26mins there and 26:55 back, not too bad esp since i just wanted the long run and not really run for timing! =) *PLEASED!* And today...just as a maintenance run, i ran til the OBS and back in 15 mins there and 13:35 back. haha! Faster coming back cuz i wanted to push a little even though muscle fatigue was setting in! Ahaha! This is becoming an exercise log...oh well...just pleased! =)

Other than that, it was a very good recap day today with Bill L.
Today, we talked about

Heart Shapers
Heart Breakers &
Heart Makers.

And yeah...it was another good time of reflection and going over the thoughts and experiences of the past...I think what he shared about the 5th grade loser, Rich Man's Bread and DIG! DIG! DIG!, were all very significant indicators to look out for! But yeah...the thing that i take back the most about it is how genuine authenticity and a clear look at ourselves (proper uncoloured self or peer examination) is very important for a person's well being!

So yes...want to thank you my Men-in-Covenant, the saturday breakfasts have been a time of great growth and breakthrough! And apart from that...the significant other people, you have been used greatly to impact and to help mould and shape me! Thank you! May all the things that we have gone through shape us into better instruments to be used for His Glory!

Ok...more updates next time! =)

Musings

"The good man does not escape all troubles - he has them too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one. God even protects him from accidents" (Psalm 34:19,20).

In this world, we will have trouble, it is a fact, it is a given, yet many times, we wonder and wish that we could live a trouble free life. Isn't that very true? Deep inside, we all want a perfect life, paradise living, no cares, no concerns, no worries, just fun, laughter, enjoyment of everything and pure delight in every recess of our bones!

Why the disparity of what we want and what we have?

I think it is for the simple reason that we're not perfect.

And the paradox is that...it is in this imperfectness that we can be made whole! When we submit and surrender our strivings to be perfect, when we realise that it is REALLY beyond us, then we can release ourselves from the slavery of self-striving and wholly depend on something greater than us.

I've found Jesus, or rather HE has found me.

In the deepest and hardest moments, my source of Joy and comfort have come in such a tangible manner, that i know that it is truly a real, "active and living" relationship. One that God himself cares to feel my hurt and pain. He sits with me, and walks with me, and doesn't stop there, but draws me out, heals and shows me where i have gone on my own, so that i can lean on Him again!

That is a Grace that is LIVING, not just a one time act, that is Love-in-action, something that brings me to my knees...

My goal based on the above verse...I acknowledge that I will have trouble, everyone will...but i want to learn the Grace that acknowledges that God will show His character and help, protect, love and teach me gently through each situation. May i know the Lord more and more intimately through all of these! =)

Tears...

Dear Dad,
You made me cry today...
It was delayed, it was so pent up...it was so painful...it hurt
Everything right was done,
and everything else out of control...

Yet...i don't hate you,
In fact, I Love you MORE...
That you care...that you see, that you know...
All your promises, they won't let go of me...

Thank you.

I declare my dependence on you, Lord Jesus
You who gave your life for me,
You who endured my pain and more on that cross,
The road that led to calvary seemed as broken as your body on that fateful day,
yet 3 days later, it led to forgiveness, redemption...it leads even now to eternity...

Thank you.

I know you wrote the story,
I know you willingly endured the pain,
I know that you cover me with love,
over betrayal, over senselessness, over loss...

You hold me in your gentle embrace, even when i lash out...
i'm SoOo sorry & Thank you.

In your love, You give me things i do not deserve,
and withhold the punishment i should bear...
Thank you.

Nothing can cause your Love to lose it's hold on me...Gosh!

I wait for great things,
The good that you have promised,
I hold such hopes in You because of your Gentleness,
Because of your everlasting Grace...

So apt...so apt...=)

Declaration of Dependence

A whimsical song that speaks of the truth within...

Declaration of Dependence - Steven Curtis Chapman

Now just the other day I overheard
a flower talking to the sky
He said you know that I would be
nothing without You, oh, oh
He said you give me rain, you give
the sun a place to shine
You’re everything that my whole
existence comes down to, oh, oh
And then the flower started singing a song
Before I knew it I was singing along
And we sang…

This is my declaration of dependence

This is my declaration of my need

This is my declaration of dependence

On the one who gave His life to me

Now, let me say that I’m the kind of
guy who wants to do it all myself
Don’t want to ask for help, don’t like
to stop for directions, oh, oh
But in reality I’m nothing on my own
It’s by God’s grace alone that
I can make this confession
All that I am and all I’m hoping to be
Is all and only what He’s given to me
So I say…

And I know this is how my life was meant to be
I was made for this dependency
On the one who has created me
So I’ll sing my declaration song
For the one I am depending on
And I hope you’ll sing along