Wow!

Hmmm...i was searching for this song called "I would die for you" and i never expected to find so many songs with that very same title, and most of them are dark or emo songs...nothing like the one i was looking for.

Well...here's the song, and it's not emo at all, i think it's possibly the truest and rightest way things can be expressed!

"I would die for you" - Mercyme

And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I'm here
You never know why You're alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?

No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free

Not many would consider this freedom, but truly...Life is never clearer than when seen thru the lense of death. I look thru everything i do with this in mind...not my death, i'm not that morbid, but the death of Christ who paid the cost for us all. Yes, ALL of us, unworthy us.

Gonna be teaching on His death this weekend, and this always fills me with awe & trembling. How can so great a sacrifice be encapsulated into one small teaching? I dunno...but i will try, cuz it is the greatest truth and the one that REALLY needs to be heard.

Christ's death compels me, it really does...
there is nothing else that i count on par with Christ.
NOT EVEN CLOSE...

To borrow from the song...

I pray that you will use my life,
in whatever way your Name is glorified,
I promise you, i'll give you all there is,
how can i possibly do less,
when through Your own death...i live
You never know why you're alive,
until you know what you would die for.

I would die for You

Beautiful

I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Isaiah 61:10

So many things to be thankful for...chief of which would be that i have been clothed in garments far more precious than i deserve, and honoured with robes i could never 'earn'.

I'm just beginning to fathom His Love, really...

How amazing you are Lord! My soul overflows...for you!

My redeemer is faithful and true

My Redeemer Is Faithful And True
(Steven Curtis Chapman and James Isaac Elliott)

[Psalm 103:17]

As I look back on the road I've travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.

Wow!

Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have
But...of the best leaders
When their work is finished
Their task is done
The people will remark
We have done it ourselves
~Chinese Proverb~

Year-End musings...
I really beginning to enjoy seeing how things unfold!

So many times, in so many examples in the bible, the heroes of Faith did not live long enough to see what their faithfulness produced. I think that is why my heart always jumps and delights in the victories that i see! It reminds me that it is not just the fruit of this generation, or people, but alot of times it is the fruit of several generations of faithful people. Gosh...what a marvel, and an astounding story that is!

What an amazing tapestry God paints. It is totally amazing and beautiful! I am just beginning to grasp the ramifications of the mega-masterpiece that God is weaving! But already, the smile on my face matches the jump in my heart! =)

Faithfulness is not an accident

"Faithfulness is NOT an accident.
It arises out of what one is through and through"
~Leon Morris~

Quotes frequently catch my eye & pique my interest. And this quote is poignant and true, the true test of faithfulness is in the midst of trial. Only the fiery furnace can show up innate character weaknesses that can be covered up under layers of facades, and beneath the thin veil of a masquerade.

The secret of being real is to realise that we don't "have it all together", we are insecure, weak, hurt and imperfect people. Realising our frailties and acknowledging them (as opposed to covering them up) helps us face ourselves as who we REALLY are, and then embarks us on a journey to being better. The symptoms highlight the problem, so let's not mask the symptoms, but face them because they help us to understand the real root problem so that we can work on them.

Faithfulness even when we are weak is the hallmark of a deeper inner strength, a constitution shored up, and in my personal experience, sometimes...Faithfulness is just holding on, holding on and holding on, to what is good & true & real, rather than just giving up at the first sign of trouble. Faithfulness to me is a stubborn reluctance to give up, it is a rememberance of the beautiful, forgetting the ugly...trusting in God for the best. Faithfulness is hard, the rewards difficult to see during the trial, it is not easy, but it is divine.

5 loaves & 2 fishes

"Take my 5 loaves & 2 fishes...
do with them as you will...i surrender...

take my fears, my inhibitions,
all my burdens, my ambitions,
you can use it all, no gift's too small...
I trust in You"

~Corrine May~

Ever felt like all you had to offer was a broken mess, things that do not seem beautiful, things that are unworthy of being given as gifts? Maybe the works of your hands seem useless, or your best efforts fall flat?

I've felt that...but better still, i've felt the redeeming presence of Jesus, the one who takes all that i have, then shapes, moulds, uses it, and crafts something beautiful out of it.

The brokenness i thought was ugly, the pain i felt was unjustified, the hunger that seemed never to be satiated, the scars that i didn't want to bear, the tears that seemed neverending, He took them all as i surrendered. And He used it all to bear witness to His awesome unending Love.

"You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle" (Psalm 56:8, ESV)

Yes Lord, use them all...no gift is too small...

My run in the sun... =)

If you observe a really happy man, you will find...
that he is happy in the course of living life
twenty-four crowded hours each day.
      -- W. Beran Wolfe

Yups...was very glad that throughout the training
and the long runs, it never got boring,
but in fact was very valuable time for me!
Clearing my head and spending time
with the Lord! =)

The half marathon was great!
So good that i really desired to continue running,
but haha! you can't do that! Pity!
But yeah...was still feeling pretty
good after the run!

As mentioned in an earlier post,
i wasn't running to aim for a timing,
just to maximise heart rate
and get a solid run under my belt!
so yeah...was a good perspective for me,
and the heart rate monitor was really good!
kept me in pace for the 21km!

In the end, i finished the run
in 2hrs 7min 7 secs!
Achieving my target
of a 2hr 10min run. =)

So yeah...very joyful! =)
Achieved my fitness goal for the year! =)
My early bday present! Thank you Lord! =)
Feels good to have accomplished
what i set out to do earlier this year! =)

Oh...and yeah...was very surprised to find out
that my resting heart rate the day
before the race was 56 beats/min!
That was exciting news to me!
haha! i'm mad! =P

Steward your body well!
Life is the TRUE marathon!

Marathon? Nah...

This was on my back during the StandChart run!

Okok...i didn't run the full marathon, just the half, so yeah...stone me, but my philosophy is still the same, Life is the true marathon, and i'm in it for the long haul! =)

Was just chatting with Ray, and he was mulling over how he cramped up and almost wanted to throw it all in. Well...i'm proud of him that he didn't, running a marathon is just like life in that way isn't it? It tests our resolve, when the trials and testings (cramps & pains) come, how do we react?

Those who hang in there, never give up, and finish the race...they and only they know the true satisfaction and the joy of finshing the race well.

I wanna finish the race of Life well...=)

Christians don't tell lies, they sing them...

Wow...i heard the line above in a podcast...and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Christians don't tell lies, they sing them..."

Caused me to be utterly stunned as i realised the immense measure of truth in that! Music is the soundtrack of my life, my companion on many desperate days, and podcasts are the messages that stir my heart with the truth of God. But yeah...sometimes, the songs that they inspire in my heart...they....just stay there, they stew and they ruminate, but it doesn't come out in my hands. It does not transform my life or make me into the person that i know i ought to be. Instead...sometimes i'm just a pale image of who i really ought to be.

And yeah...the songs that ring in my ears? They convict me once again...of how i could be more, how my sights are set too low, how i've been crawling in the mud, when i should be soaring up in the heights! But yeah...the good thing is that i'm not gonna let it get me down, the songs inspire a loftier vision in me, one that i wanna stumble towards! Tripping up is normal, but heading onwards and upwards ought always to be my goal! =)

Well...thank God for the wake up call! =)

Heartrates!

~~Posted this on Monday!~~

I'm quite excited to run the (half) marathon on Sunday! =) it's actually my first so yeah...will try not to push too hard at first! Hope the excitement doesn't get to me! =)

I found out some interesting stuff yesterday that i'm still trying to research and come to a conclusion...

Found out that my resting heart rate is about 60...(average male is 70, female 75! Go check! hee!) lower probably means more efficient, those Tour De France cyclists and athletes have a resting heart rate of 35-40! Amazing stuff!

And yeah...during my run with Leslie, Gra & Rufus...i was wearing a heart rate monitor, and it recorded that i averaged 173 beats per min for the whole run...according to the stats table and all, that is about 90% of my max heart rate. Technically, that is not supposed to happen, we can only exercise at 90-100% of max heart rate for a maximum of 5 mins (then we exhaust and have to slow down) so yeah...i'm trying to reconcile that right now.

Basically, i'm finding out that it is pretty normal...everyone has a different range of heart motion and all. Lance Armstrong has a 32 resting heart rate and he can max at 200plus, so that's a mega huge range. I'm finding out more about my body and range! So yeah...it's pretty good for me! Glad to know that i have a higher personal range and am able to sustain it! That's helpful info!

I think that i was pretty much training so that i can finish the half in a good time! 2hrs 10mins was my target. The ironic thing is that as i'm learning more, i'm deciding to pace down a lil, i'm gonna use the heart rate monitor during race day too...and i will run at a slightly lower pace than i did yesterday...not going to run for the timing anymore, gonna run more to sustain within my target heart range for the 2 hours plus...that would push my body to be more efficient and actually bring far more lasting results! =)

After all...this StandChart half marathon is a sprint! Life is the TRUE marathon isn't it? =) Time to steward my body well! =)

Fanatical!

A PURE WILL loves God with the whole heart and soul and mind. It is "fanatical"—the greatest insult the modern mind can conceive, and the greatest compliment God can give. It is also the greatest compliment a lover can give: "I love you with my whole heart and soul. My love is not divided. You have no rival."

Peter Kreeft, Back to Virtue

My eyes keep flying to amazing quotes today! And i can't help but be stirred! What truth there is in such words of wisdom!

Many times, "fanatical" carries such a negative connotation but Hmmm...it made me think.

If i get affected by such a word spoken from the lips of men, then aren't i allowing the opinions of men control me? So...in that analysis, am i serving God or serving men? Looks like growth also means growing a thicker skin and not being so affected by so mere words!

Undivided Love demands that...a ceaseless pursuit of something real, total commitment to a cause, not a limp-wristed "love" that falls flat at the first discouraging comment.

That which you fear...you will serve.

May i fear only one thing...the Lord.

Are you scarred?

On my verseminder, it says this for today...

On the last day, Jesus will look us over...
not for medals, diplomas or honours
but for scars.

How true...the battles we fight and press on into, the things REALLY worth fighting for, probably can't ever be quantified, not in a certificate, not in money, possessions, or acclaim.

Yet, every scar that we earn by learning more and more to be like Christ, those are the things that we should carry with humility, the scars of a battle well-fought, and a lesson well-learnt.

It would be a sad day to find out that we had been studying hard, striving hard, achieving many things, yet taking the wrong exam all the time.

Our test is faithfulness to the Word of God, to our Lord Jesus Christ, to know and to worship God in all we do. Failing this test is the biggest failure of all.

Are you studying the right things?

Battle and journey on!

Life is now a battle and a journey. As Eugene Peterson reminds us, "We fight the forces that oppose our becoming whole; we must find our way through difficult and unfamiliar territory to our true home." It's not that there aren't joy and beauty, love and adventure right now - there are. The invasion of the kingdom has begun. But life in it's fullness is yet to come. So we must take seriously the care of our hearts. We must watch over our desire with a fierce love and vigilance, as if we were protecting our most treasured possession. We must do battle with the enemies of our hearts - those sirens that would seduce and shipwreck our desire and that arrows that aim to kill outright. And we must journey forward, toward God, toward the Great Restoration and the adventures to come. How awful to reach the end of our life's road and find we haven't brought our hearts along with us. ~the journey of desire~ John Eldredge

never know, never understand why...

To some, failure is a crippling experience,
for me, it has mostly been a speed bump and then something which i resolve to learn from...to grow into, something to spur me on to be better...

some lessons seem so 'unlearnable',
I wish the righteousness from God that covers me,
would actually help answer ALL questions, and NOW!
but still...some questions have no answers...just YET! =P

perhaps...the answers would never come...
even though they lie there within reach
why no answers still?
that is real sad...
If you have the answers,
why keep silent?
i can never know,
nor understand why...



Learning so much more about questions and answers these days.
How some answers are in our hands but we fail to steward them well...it dies slowly in our hands if we do not wield it well...

This week...we ran a movie...a movie about a relationship between Father and daughter, it was a 7 min short film, followed by an hour long discussion and a testimony.

It was a fabulous time with friends, and friends of friends...
Talking about issues, asking questions, answering and sharing our hearts
In there people heard about God, saw the same imperfections we all have,
and how there IS an Answer...and the Answer is a PERSON,
the man Jesus, who died on that Cross for us...

How many of us have that Answer in our hands? plenty...
How many of us are gladly sharing it? ...i dunno, but i wish i saw more of it.

Thank you Lord for your Answer, the perfect Answer.
Teach us how to steward it well, and to be sensitive to your leading in all situations! I thank you for the wonderful time last night with friends, invited guests, people who just walked in because of the publicity! Thank you for these people whom you have prepared, may they have a sense of what it means to have a real and living relationship in You.

For those who still have unanswered questions, may you spur them to constantly seek until they find the Answer, in you...Amen.

Car Crash Randoms...

Ever been in a car going real fast and the driver gets a cramp in his toe? =) Man...some things test your trust like no other! And some things test your pain tolerance like NO OTHER! =)

Another car crash random...and possibly the worst dream ever!
Imagine...you're driving, and the car you're in crashes, you get flung over the dashboard, crash through the windscreen, land on the road...just when you thought the worst was over...you get run over...man...what a lousy day!

Hmmm...why am i telling stories about random events? Well...i think, so many times, we go through a day and our emotions run through the gamut of highs and lows.

Like the fast car, our lives can be going smoothly and everything fine, but then a shockingly unexpected event (Toe CRAMP!) happens, and it shocks and tests us! Reacting badly would probably cause us to crash, causing some major accident, but bearing it and clinging on to the wheel tightly, probably saves us and the people around us!

Moral of the story: Grin and bear it when unexpected toe cramps happen!

The 2nd random story...
Car crashes are like disasters, just when you think the worst is over, something else crops up...it's not just an accident, you could be flung out, run over, suffer whiplash, any other weird combination of unpleasant events. All of them totally out of control.

Doesn't life feel like that sometimes?

"I don't deserve this..."
"Why?"
"What is happening?"
"Why this...why now?"
"How can this happen?"
"AAAARGH!"

For me...i just let go, surrender, and let God take over.
Christ is my Righteousness, the Rock on which i stand,
the one who is my Advocate, He will never leave me nor forsake me!

What is your response?

My com crashed...and so did this blog!

Haha! Series of unfortunate events!

Been without the use of my laptop for almost a month and that led to my blog also going offline! Hmmm...wonder what is next! =P

Recap...

At summit now, it's been a great time!

Finally have time to blog...so yeah...i must be having a good break time! =)

In fact, i've had the opportunity to catch up on the things that i've needed to do, and get good rest in the process! Very glad for all of that! =)

The biggest tick on my list has been keeping up with my run schedule...proud that of that! =) Managed to run to Bedok Jetty and back...in 52:55, 26mins there and 26:55 back, not too bad esp since i just wanted the long run and not really run for timing! =) *PLEASED!* And today...just as a maintenance run, i ran til the OBS and back in 15 mins there and 13:35 back. haha! Faster coming back cuz i wanted to push a little even though muscle fatigue was setting in! Ahaha! This is becoming an exercise log...oh well...just pleased! =)

Other than that, it was a very good recap day today with Bill L.
Today, we talked about

Heart Shapers
Heart Breakers &
Heart Makers.

And yeah...it was another good time of reflection and going over the thoughts and experiences of the past...I think what he shared about the 5th grade loser, Rich Man's Bread and DIG! DIG! DIG!, were all very significant indicators to look out for! But yeah...the thing that i take back the most about it is how genuine authenticity and a clear look at ourselves (proper uncoloured self or peer examination) is very important for a person's well being!

So yes...want to thank you my Men-in-Covenant, the saturday breakfasts have been a time of great growth and breakthrough! And apart from that...the significant other people, you have been used greatly to impact and to help mould and shape me! Thank you! May all the things that we have gone through shape us into better instruments to be used for His Glory!

Ok...more updates next time! =)

Musings

"The good man does not escape all troubles - he has them too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one. God even protects him from accidents" (Psalm 34:19,20).

In this world, we will have trouble, it is a fact, it is a given, yet many times, we wonder and wish that we could live a trouble free life. Isn't that very true? Deep inside, we all want a perfect life, paradise living, no cares, no concerns, no worries, just fun, laughter, enjoyment of everything and pure delight in every recess of our bones!

Why the disparity of what we want and what we have?

I think it is for the simple reason that we're not perfect.

And the paradox is that...it is in this imperfectness that we can be made whole! When we submit and surrender our strivings to be perfect, when we realise that it is REALLY beyond us, then we can release ourselves from the slavery of self-striving and wholly depend on something greater than us.

I've found Jesus, or rather HE has found me.

In the deepest and hardest moments, my source of Joy and comfort have come in such a tangible manner, that i know that it is truly a real, "active and living" relationship. One that God himself cares to feel my hurt and pain. He sits with me, and walks with me, and doesn't stop there, but draws me out, heals and shows me where i have gone on my own, so that i can lean on Him again!

That is a Grace that is LIVING, not just a one time act, that is Love-in-action, something that brings me to my knees...

My goal based on the above verse...I acknowledge that I will have trouble, everyone will...but i want to learn the Grace that acknowledges that God will show His character and help, protect, love and teach me gently through each situation. May i know the Lord more and more intimately through all of these! =)

Tears...

Dear Dad,
You made me cry today...
It was delayed, it was so pent up...it was so painful...it hurt
Everything right was done,
and everything else out of control...

Yet...i don't hate you,
In fact, I Love you MORE...
That you care...that you see, that you know...
All your promises, they won't let go of me...

Thank you.

I declare my dependence on you, Lord Jesus
You who gave your life for me,
You who endured my pain and more on that cross,
The road that led to calvary seemed as broken as your body on that fateful day,
yet 3 days later, it led to forgiveness, redemption...it leads even now to eternity...

Thank you.

I know you wrote the story,
I know you willingly endured the pain,
I know that you cover me with love,
over betrayal, over senselessness, over loss...

You hold me in your gentle embrace, even when i lash out...
i'm SoOo sorry & Thank you.

In your love, You give me things i do not deserve,
and withhold the punishment i should bear...
Thank you.

Nothing can cause your Love to lose it's hold on me...Gosh!

I wait for great things,
The good that you have promised,
I hold such hopes in You because of your Gentleness,
Because of your everlasting Grace...

So apt...so apt...=)

Declaration of Dependence

A whimsical song that speaks of the truth within...

Declaration of Dependence - Steven Curtis Chapman

Now just the other day I overheard
a flower talking to the sky
He said you know that I would be
nothing without You, oh, oh
He said you give me rain, you give
the sun a place to shine
You’re everything that my whole
existence comes down to, oh, oh
And then the flower started singing a song
Before I knew it I was singing along
And we sang…

This is my declaration of dependence

This is my declaration of my need

This is my declaration of dependence

On the one who gave His life to me

Now, let me say that I’m the kind of
guy who wants to do it all myself
Don’t want to ask for help, don’t like
to stop for directions, oh, oh
But in reality I’m nothing on my own
It’s by God’s grace alone that
I can make this confession
All that I am and all I’m hoping to be
Is all and only what He’s given to me
So I say…

And I know this is how my life was meant to be
I was made for this dependency
On the one who has created me
So I’ll sing my declaration song
For the one I am depending on
And I hope you’ll sing along

True Beauty

"That which is beautiful is not always good;
but that which is good is always beautiful"

I'm a believer of the bible, and at it's core, the bible speaks so much truth, about how beauty can never been seen in the exterior, only in the interior...

"You see the depths of my heart...yet you love me the same...you are amazing, God"

And truly, the true Joy that a person gets is only in discovering the simple truth of the matter.

That which is GOOD is ALWAYS gonna be BEAUTIFUL!


Lord, i pray that your truth and your goodness will never be obscured in your people. And I pray that your beloved ones will also learn to recognise your truth so that in all situations, they recognise the good that comes from you instead of the deception that may come from aesthetic beauty that obscure a woeful inner life. May our walk always speak loud! And may it always speak of you!
In Jesus Name, AMEN.

What a season!

Bruce Springsteen said,
"A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be."

The quote is attributed to Bruce Springsteen, but i think God is wiser, He knew us so well and He knew we would always be plodding along in this journey trying to rely on our own strength, so His encouragement has always been persevere, keep on doing good, never give up, Hope in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding! I am the Vine, you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, but apart from me, you can do NOTHING!

"Everyone is looking for a quick fix, but what they really need is fitness. People who look for fixes stop doing what's right when pressure is relieved. People who pursue fitness do what they should no matter what the circumstances are." Kevin Meyers

Yups...i don't want quick fixes, i wanna learn, persevere, press on always, sit humbly and wait on the Lord, listening intently, trusting always, cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! Like in a garden, the fruits take time to develop, and even in the seemingly "barren" seasons, God is working and the roots are taking in nutrients to nourish and grow the fruit!

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand
When you don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand...
trust His heart.

Yeah! I trust His heart! Always have, always will! It has been a wonderfully fruitful month and a half away, and it was an amazingly blessed time especially the past week in Korea, doing things i love with the Lord i love, and people who have given everything to be there, and it was not only a great time learning, serving, and being inspired! But also, spending quality time with quality people, something that really blessed me! =) The Lord is really amazing in the ways that He plans things! I stand in awe at His wondrous Love! And what a journey of Faith this is! =) WOO!

I'm back!

Yes, i'm home! =)

Flying off again on the 29th til the 9th tho! will update when i can!

Off for a month...=)

Pray as the team goes forward!

May we achieve each and every milestone prepared by the Lord for us! =)

Thank you for your partnership in Prayer! =)

Why? Why? Why?

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

Indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Who knows what i'm going through? No one...no one but you Lord.
And though my heart is torn, i'll praise you in this storm...

Praise you in this storm - Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

This brokenness, senselessness, darkness, pain, unanswered questions, weariness...Every tear i've ever cried, you hold in your hands, you never left my side, though my heart is torn, you heard my cry to you and raised me up again, my strength is almost gone, how can i carry on if i can't find you?

I lift my eyes to you Lord...I will praise you in this storm. I CHOOSE to Praise you, I CHOOSE to be thankful, the troubles i have are "light and momentary" as compared to your eternal Glory! Thank you Lord, truly...i thank you...in faith, i believe, and i thank you...

Been awhile...

It's been such a long while since my last post!
Guess it's the busyness that comes with preparing for graduation, helping with the video, juggling work, time with people who need it, doing my newsletter, sending it out and meeting people, preparing the trip admin details, many long meetings to hammer out the program and all, on top of planning for the year ahead and doing transitioning...gosh...busy busy!

But also, in the season of extreme busyness, i'm learning to discipline myself more on the TRULY important stuff. Somedays, i just can't do it...i just feel like taking a rest day and crashing into bed, but yeah...God is always good and faithful! Just have to pray a little more and remember that i have a strength that is beyond mine! Pace myself well, so i dun burn out and return early to rest and recharge!

I read this today in my morning devotion...and it just made me smile! =)

"THE LONGING of the soul for God only makes itself felt when all lesser delights and earthly joys are relegated to their right place."

I think that inner longing is always there, but sometimes it is brushed over in the busyness, or forgotten by neglect. And yeah, God is jealous of us that way, desiring for us as a bridegroom for the bride! Competing passions are actually setting themselves up against the Rock of Ages, so yes...we have to learn the lesson of submission and setting the Right thing in the Right Place daily, the more willingly we do that, the better for us.

Sometimes, we get blind to what is truly our focus and when we have to be re-directed, there are grace-filled ways of the Lord, and there are also grace-filled, yet painful surrenders of the things we have clung onto too tightly. When we're forced to surrender, it's mainly cuz we have held on to something too tightly, of our own volition.

So yeah...may the longing for my Lord, constantly be my number 1 passion!

I think I'm a funny person!
In a world that is so visual, so upfront, and out for promoting self, i much prefer taking the backseat, doing the background, or groundwork matters that make something tick, and those are not the most glamourous jobs! yeah...prefer to leave that to those who relish the limelight! I'll much rather be a man of substance, a person of character, far above "looking good" to man, or standing in the place of limelight. I've always done the little things, and yes, some appreciate them, and others overlook them, i used to get rather wistful at that sometimes! Then i realised that if i did feel terrible when i'm unappreciated, it's probably cuz i'm actually longing for the praises of man! So deceitful is the heart of man! I'm glad God in His grace allowed me to see and realise that...it matters little now, cuz yeah...i'm really NOT doing it for man, i've realigned, it's now my own act of stewardship, my service to the Lord! And yes, when i recognise that i'm feeling wistful, i now know why, and that helps me deal with it much better! =)

Yeah...last year, was really a watershed year for me, many things have changed, and i've learnt more and more about myself, and yeah, examining motives more than actions, wanna continue in that vein and be refined under the Master's hand!

That best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.
-- William Wordsworth --

May i always give the best portions of what i have! =)

What are your standards?

Before a man can do things there must be things he WILL NOT do.
~Mencius~

What will you not do? Where are your OB (Out-of-bounds) markers? I like this term...i learnt it in my journalism class, and it has always struck me as a wise statement! =)

In the local journalistic reporting context, when OB markers are mentioned, it seems to convey a negative vibe, an area best left unventured, an area that we should practice self-censorship.

But instinctively, i sense that in everything, we must have a certain standard, certain rules we live by, some things that we do not compromise, something that we will NOT do! Imagine playing a game WITHOUT rules, yeah...we played one such game before (at least, we thought it had no rules!) and in the manual (notice i didn't say rulebook! hahaha!) It ended with this line "...Any other disputes should be settled by loud arguments among the players, with the owner of the game having the last word."

Ahahah! =) So...we see, at the end of the day, even in conflict resolution, there was a need to set a certain standard, a person with the last say.

Similarly in life, even if we refuse to acknowledge it, we all have taken on a certain set of rules which help us govern our actions. And actually, one of the best gauges of our standards is to ask...What is it you WILL NOT do?

It's easy to make statements like "I'll try anything once", "I'm game for it"...we live and are shaped by peer pressure, "One-up-manship" (always trying to be better then someone else), we always seem to appeal to people's sense of fun, daring them to do all sorts of things.

Yet...how many people challenge us in the things that are really important? Helping us set standards so that we know exactly what we will and will NOT do! I've been reading biographies again, and i've seen a certain pattern...the best sports coaches, they may not have been the best players of the game, but they were certainly masters of the RULES of the game! The better they knew the rules, the better they could play the game! In soccer, a keen knowledge of the rules is needed to know how to use the offside rule, especially now with the rule that if a player is not involved in play, he's considered "inactive"!

Hmmm...there are so many parallels that can be drawn, but yes...living outside of boundaries, living in rebellion to the laws, being unconscious of our standards...these things will cause us to stumble and fall when the times of testing come.

We have an unchangeable, immovable, divine and eternal standard in Christ, so let's be clear on what the Living Word says so that we hold to the RIGHT standards!

The Way

But to deviate from the truth
for the sake of some prospect of hope of our own
can never be wise,
however slight that deviation may be.

It is not our judgement of the situation which can show us what is wise,
but only the truth of the word of God.

Here alone lies the promise of God's faithfulness and help.
It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple
is always to abide solely by the Word of God in all simplicity.
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer~

Does God ever oversleep? If He doesn't, then why do we hurry, engage in such hustle and bustle, why do we rush about so quickly we hardly slow down to listen for His still, small voice? Don't we believe that God has His eyes and His hands on things? Why do we act like He IS sleeping?

Does our life ever seem like a maze? A crazy series of twists and turns, seemingly without rhyme or reason...are we...in reality...lost, floundering and just making the best of a bad situation? Trying to make the best decisions we can? Where is God in this?

His answer?

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life!

While our nature demands that we see the road ahead, or that we're given a set of directions to reach there, we often fail to see that we hold the answers in our hands...but we lack the understanding to apply it.

I am the Way...- God is saying He is the roadmap, He is the direction giver, or...more correctly, He is the direction! We ask for a roadmap, a compass or the road, Jesus says, cling on to me, I'll provide all of those because I am the Way, you just have to cling on to me! Can we accept such a simple yet utterly faith-dependent answer?

The questions post...

To do God’s work is to do what is right when no one is looking …
and doing what is right when everyone else is compromising.
- Charles Swindoll

We're living in such uncertain times, a time when standards seem to have decayed beyond repair, where broken families, fractured friendships, strained relationships, all lay down amidst the carnage of a life lived for the momentary pleasure, the temporary gain, the instant gratification of our wayward desires.

We hide the ugly reality of our lives with a thinly veiled veneer that hides the parts that are crumbling just beneath that fragile facade. Where are our moral foundations? Why do they crumble so much, and SOooooOo easily?

Is it easier to cover over our imperfections? Hide them? Like applying putty to mend a crack? Foundation to hide facial flaws? Is it cuz we're asian that it is easier to leave things unsaid? Pretending to sweep things under the rug, when they are actually still there, just bubbling under the surface?

Being in the people business, i've always wondered if i will ever grow cynical to the point where i treat everyone with suspicion...i think that would be a very sad day. I've constantly relied on the Lord to keep me tender, to Love with His Agape, to be unconditional in Love, and it's a constantly humbling journey, one that is also frequently painful. It is true that hurting people hurt people, i've seen that happen time after time, and i've felt those stings of undeserved assaults, and yet, i cannot give up, it's not in my nature, cuz i believe God will never let go!

I know why it is easier to hold on to a mask, to keep up a masquerade, put on a facade...the simple reason is that it helps us cope with the pain, we can hide our hurt, cover the flaws, try to mend the scars. To show people our innermost being is to be vulnerable, it means being comfortable in who we are, it means, revelling in however imperfect we may be. It means that we glory in our weakness! And it is exactly how the Lord wants us...open, honest, vulnerable, being ourselves, showing our weaknesses, pain, hurt, ugly, unlovable natures, because only in realising how wretched, how inadequate we are by ourselves, can we reach the end of our rope, and then...the only answer that will satisfy at that moment would be....Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour.

Who are you when no one is watching?
Do you do the right thing when everyone is compromising?
Whose standards do you keep? Yours or the Lord's?

In line with the whole theme...i'm not perfect, i struggle to keep doing the right thing, but i'm trying. I'm learning from Daniel 1, he knew God's standards, and he saw where it would challenged. To others, food may be "a small matter" YET Daniel DID NOT compromise!

Daniel knew the black, and he knew the white, and that knowledge helped him navigate the grey areas in life!

Do you know biblical standards?
Do you know how to apply biblical standards to daily living?

Dearest Lord Jesus, you know the hearts of your people far better than we think we know ourselves. I pray that you will plumb our depths and fill us with your Love, your desires, your immovable standards, may our lives be anchored on the solid Rock that doesn't move, so that when things around us shake, we may see as you see and be your Light of Love in those moments. In Jesus Name, Amen!

WARNING! Gross post!

You know that you're REALLY sick when you try to throw up...
and all that comes out is

PHLEGM....

ahahaha! Sorry if i grossed anyone out! What a nonsensical post! =)

Easter! =)

HE IS RISEN INDEED!

WOOHOO! =)

The significance of Good Friday to me...

Joy!....and tears...

My heart is brimming over with such Joy! This is so wonderful, so amazing! The reason why i love doing what i'm doing! =) Today at youth Alpha, we had 15-20 people choosing to receive Christ! And 1 came from my group! Woo! And yet again...i'm awed to just be a little clog in this, playing my little part and taking such satisfaction in it! =)

and then some other news struck me and whoa...reality hits home...and it hits hardest on the things closest to our hearts...

i just saw the news...and the latest news is that 28 people are dead from a tsunami in the pacific ocean that hit the Solomon Islands.

*ouch...*

It is truly amazing what happened today, 15-20 people choosing Christ and entering the Kingdom, yet...how many of those 28 didn't? I can only imagine what God feels...on the one hand rejoicing at every lost sheep that is found again, and yet...heartbroken at those who lose their way and never get found again...ever...

I remember this quote from my Christmas present (thanks buddy)...

"In heaven..There is one thing we can NEVER do...we cannot share the gospel"

~Dave Davidson~

Today, i caught a glimpse of this stark reality...people are entering the kingdom, yet others are being lost to it...forever...i know i'm not called to be superman, and there is only one Saviour, but yeah...i see very clearly that this is my season to step forth, to walk boldly, to tread the road, to walk the talk, to live out this faith that i've professed for so long!

"C.S. Lewis said that we have the tendency to think, but not to act
and to feel, but not to act.
If we go on feeling and thinking, but not acting,
then one day we will be unable to act."
~George Verwer~

It's time for me to act, and yes, i've taken those steps of Faith already! No turning back! This is going to be a great adventure and i'm looking forward to it. And yeah...i realise the reality of it all. As i heed the call, it might mean leaving everything that i've taken comfort from so far...but yeah, can i stomach disobedience to the call? No way! I'm taking God at His Word! =)

I know that obedience to the call is so much more compelling and it truly is on my heart!

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music he hears
however measured and far away."
~Henry David Thoreau~

I hear the sound of a heavenly drum, and as i step to it, it means breaking with the familiar, sacrificing the good, choosing the best, staying close to the Lord and being obedient all the way.

Like Ginny Owens put it, "...He never said it would be easy, He just said, i'll never go alone"

And yeah...in the end, God's word is the ultimate, He speaks truth that is irrefutable!

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

Whom God Chooses

Whom God Chooses

When God wants to drill a man,
and thrill a man, and skill a man,
When God wants to mold a man,
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man,
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch his methods; watch His ways.
How He ruthlessly perfects
When He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay
Which only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying,
And He lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When His good He undertakes.
How He uses whom he chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him;
But every act induces him
To try His splendor out --
God knows what He's about!

Go then, earthly fame and treasure!
Come disaster, scorn, and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure;
With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, Abba, Father;
I have stayed my heart on Thee.
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Henry F. Lyte

What's on my heart...

May the words of my mouth-Tim Hughes

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

I will follow
I will follow
I will follow You

The quiet ones...

Kind hearts are quietly kind,
they allow cars into their lane instead of cutting them off,

give up their seats on the bus, or even...choose not to sit because others need it more,

the compassionate are quietly compassionate,

sowing love, showing care, praying hard, warring when no one is watching,

they recognise the battle, and war by their unseen acts of love

the humble are quietly strong,

no need to blow their trumpet, no need to get the fame,

doing their work, and building stronger roots daily

Paul planted, Apollos watered...but God is the one who causes the increase

Sometimes, we say...judge a person by his fruits...

But yeah...if God is the one causing the growth, then how?

I think the better measure is being Faithful in the task entrusted to us.

Build for eternity, set your sights high above, love wholeheartedly!

The heavenly exchange!

Just thought i would challenge myself again...see a good one-liner, and try to expand on it and see what thoughts flow, so yups...let see! =)

The heavenly exchange- what kind of transaction is this, that trades my rags for eternal riches? Pain (healed), sorrow (replaced with Joy!), burden (lifted), guilt (replaced with faith)!

The ability to call on my Abba Father, see the sacrifice of Jesus,
"It's so easy to call you Saviour, close enough to call you friend!"

I cannot fathom the nature of this exchange, God trading His only Son to die on the cross for my sins, in ADVANCE, before i was even made! It just boggles my mind!

Reminds of this quote i saw,

"Wanted before you were conceived,

Loved before you took your first breath"

~Soul Cravings~

For all those who have hurt or been hurt before (and that's everyone i figure...),

Do you feel that something has been ripped away? Stolen, left empty, broken?

Or does guilt, emptiness, fear, worry, the desire to run away, the pain of facing the same thoughts, facing the ugliness of self, the desire to "repair" the damage,

do these things plague you?

God's Heavenly Exchange is the one woven throughout the bible...

He says with a tender smile; and nail-pierced hands;

"I died to forgive your sins"

"I don't condemn you"

"you are washed white as snow"

"Because...I Love you"

And...in His firm Fatherly discipline;
"Now GO! And sin no more"

He has returned (and given more!) what others...had stolen away.

Only Jesus could do such a thing! =)

Grace and Mercy, Meekness and Majesty

John 3:16

Free!

"The freest person in the world is the one with an open heart,
a broken spirit, and a new direction in which to travel."

Yeah! The road ahead is wide open and amazingly exciting! =) It has been a very fruitful season of seeking the Lord, and now, with my compass set to true North, i'm following the roadmap that the Lord has prepared for me! It's exhilarating, it's such a sense of freedom, marked with a tinge of pain, and yet, the journey ahead is clearly marked out and with my focus is set!

Casting aside everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, i press on towards the goal...God is sovereign and i know He has a marvelous plan for my life ahead! I see the dangers, i sense the overwhelming bigness of everything, but yet, i KNOW that precisely because of the mammoth task ahead, God must be the one orchestrating it and since it's all in His hands, i've nothing to fear! Just press on! =)

I have been so blind for so long, how could i fail to see that by trying to manage everything i was actually holding back and not daring to risk anything? Now...the paradox is that, though people may see and think that i'm making a mistake or 'risking' everything, they do not understand that this is the way life is meant to be lived! An adventure, a life of faith, an endeavour of excellence, a life lived in the service of the King, that counts the poor and the downtrodden as valuable, that looks with eyes of compassion on scoffers and mockers. What richer life can there be than to spread the love of Christ, and see it warm a cold heart, break open a man of stone! There's no greater reward than to see the love of Christ reflected back to you in the eyes of someone who was stuck in the pit that they were in.

A life of poverty is one spent on our own leisurely pursuits, because the selfishness that is in our core then rises to the fore. I determine not to be one of those feeble souls who do nothing at the wayside. I desire to open my heart so that i may be used wherever and whenever, whatever high or lowly position, whatever status rich or poor, wherever He leads, i'll go. (Isa 6:8)

Prayer Engage belated entry...

Was looking through some photos and glimpsed on this picture that spoke to me once again...This was from my management project with Campus Crusade Engine Region, done late Jan'07...

It was Day one, and we were focussed on Purity. The prayer stimuli that we did (Yes, they were hand made!) was a black heart that could stand! I staged this shot, placing the heart there, symbolising the surrender of our blackened, wounded, sickened hearts to God, whose hands are BIG enough!

The caption that is on the "hands" poster is this...

"Prayer is not asking.

Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at his disposition,

and listening to His voice in the depths of our hearts."

The 10 days of Prayer Engage! were pretty wonderful ones for me, and yeah...like the focus of the Engage says, "To build a movement of people intent on knowing God through prayer!"

I wanna see that movement of people knowing God intimately!

On The Cutting Edge

Some people talk about being on the cutting edge;

some actually live there.

Fewer choose to dwell on the bleeding edge of humanity,

where nothing is humanly certain except great need,

where risk defies other definitions,

where light shines the brighter for the enveloping darkness.

The perseverance of Faith!

Hey buddy,

(and oh...i only call 1 person buddy, so yeah...that's you!),

this is for you! =)

"Faith is the art of holding on

to things your reason has once accepted,

in spite of your changing moods."

~C.S. Lewis~

Yeah! Get what i mean? ;P

Mighty weapon!

“A willing man (or woman) is a mighty weapon in the hand of an awesome God!”

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.

AMEN! =) Sweet!

Broken for His Glory!

There has only been 1 perfect man EVER!
His name is Jesus.

God always uses imperfect men.

The bible is a story of THAT perfect man

told using the stories of imperfect, broken people.

I feel so at home...

I fit right in...

Broken, yet able to be used still...
Such a privilege! =)

Another awesome time...

11 PRC!

Praise the Lord!

Thank you for your Grace so free!

You love us so much...

This is how awesome! =)

Streams in the desert

"There are songs which can only be learned in the valley.
No art can teach them; no rules of voice can make them perfectly sung.

Their music is in the heart. They are songs of memory, of personal experience.

They bring out their burden from the shadow of the past;

they mount on the wings of yesterday...

The Father is training thee for the part the angels cannot sing;

and the school is sorrow.

I have heard many say that He sends sorrow to prove thee;

may He send sorrow to educate thee,

to train thee for the choir invisible."
Streams in the Desert ~George Matheson~

Emerging from the valley, seeing the Light,
Held by my Saviour, safe by His side.

No place i'd rather be,
nothing else i'd wanna be...

Just there with my Jesus,

Loving it! All the way! =)

Your choice!

In life, we make many choices, and so many times we fail to see that refusing to make a choice, or choosing to procrastinate, is also a choice made, a decision that has consequences.

Your choice...choose wisely

"Stand for something?

or fall for anything?"

I've made my choice, i'm going to stand for Him, EVERYTIME. So, God grant me that courage.

I trust in your strength because i know how weak and frail i am...

"...the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits"

Dan 11:32b (NKJV)

Forgiveness...

Forgiveness...never thought that i would write on this.

The first time i remember needing to forgive, really forgive, it was the most unlikely person...myself. Shortly after accepting Christ in Dec 1996, i realised that i had to break out of the cycle of self-defeat that i was in, and i knew that one of the main obstacles was myself. Why? Because i felt so awful at my past, i disliked the person i was, yet i wanted to hold on to my rebellious streak, and i did not want to be a stodgy christian! And the more God revealed how He wanted ALL of me, the more struggle i had in surrendering and forgiving myself. Yet, each time i was able to forgive myself and trust God to wipe those stains away, Joy unspeakable would spring forth in me, and they would change my tears into smiles...it's amazing how God heals!

That journey of 10 years has brought me up to this point, totally changed, totally different from the person i remember then. But the journey of forgiveness has taken on new meaning also...

In the past year, i've had to learn to actively make the choice of forgiveness over retaliation, bitterness, anger. Never has the testing been so severe, so intense, so painful.

I know that i have a right to be angry, to be bitter, to lash out, yet in my heart...no matter how much it is bleeding, i know that some battles are not mine to begin with. My road is the road of obedience to the King, and being moulded by Him. He will be the righteous Judge, my comfort, my shield, my strong deliverer. His living and active word will be constantly be my answer...

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 The Message

The same message keeps resounding in songs this season...

"everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me
everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a saviour, the hope of nations...""

"so take me as you find me, all my fears and failure, fill my life again,
I give my life to follow, everything i believe in, now i surrender..."

"Oh Lord, you've searched me, you know my way,
even when i've failed you, i know you love me..."

"Yr holy presence surrounding me, in every season, i know you love me..."

"A thousand times i've failed, still your mercy remains...
Should i stumble, still...i'm caught in your grace..."

"In the secret of your presence, i know...there...i am restored"

"In the chaos and confusion, i know, you're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness, you give me grace to do your will..."

After all the that the Lord has done for me, forgiven me for, and set me free from...any sacrifice i can lay down pales in comparison to His. He is the one who FORGIVES, and out of His forgiveness, we're always learning to forgive like Him too. I wish i could be better at this sometimes, but forgiveness isn't easy, that's why a Saviour, my Lord Jesus, had to show us how to do it.

God specialises in God-sized tasks and i have to praise Him for this, even though it has been a storm of epic proportions, i know who my God is, and like in Daniel...it says..."the people who know their God will be strong and do great exploits." So i determine, in any circumstance, any thing that happens, i will know God more in that situation, i will seek Him out, He will be my focus instead of how i feel or what i see...

In Christ i have been forgiven, in the process, i've learnt how to forgive myself, and now...i'm on the road and learning how to forgive as Christ forgave me. Long journey, and painful one...but i gladly surrender my SELF into your hands, Lord Jesus, there is no better place to be!

I forgive...do you choose to be forgiven?

the heartache of God...

Does your heart ache when you see someone hurting and in pain?

Do you feel compassion for the hungry, the lost, those who are searching for more?

Or are you just striving, wanting to attain more, running to fun just to ease the pain?

It hurts me to see people live in compromise, splitting their time and talents trying to please everyone else, and in the end, failing to, thereby offending everyone.

When will we learn that there is only one unchangable in this world?

and NO! it is not Change.

It is Jesus' Love.

That Love that offers us Grace,
His unmerited favour.

Mercy,
Shown when He paid the penalty on that cross,

and displayed everyday that we wilfully turn away...

You're either living for God or you're living for yourself,

Don't lie to yourself, examine your life and see which is it.

When God does business with people,

all you can do is hang on, and try to keep up!

Do not compromise on the things that God places in your hands

Too many of us allow doubt to creep in, to dissuade us from doing what we can.

Soon we blame others, conditions, or our circumstances. Eventually, we blame God.

Focus on a BIG God who can do it!
He has won the Victory for us so we need never be afraid!

If we learn to walk in the victory that He has won,

we can take the battle to the gates of Hell.

We can turn the tide of the battle,

turning the heartache of God into His Rejoicing!

Not by our own strength,

But by leaning on the power of the Holy Spirit.

Misunderstood?

Sometimes, i wonder...why do people love to say they are misunderstood?

But then, reality has hit, and yes, it's so easy to be misunderstood...i see so many misunderstandings that have happened in the past, other people's past and my own past...and the sad thing is that they could have been cleared up by clear communication!

So many times, we just presume, assume or just paint our own scenarios, but isn't it better and more direct to just approach the issue/person and work it through? Why keep going in circles or running away? I seriously do not understand the running away thing...why why why...? If you dun wanna be misunderstood, perhaps the best thing to do is to go and clarify things instead of running? Doesn't that sound logical and feel less burdensome? =)

Well...i'm stating it clearly here, i'm a person who is transparent and honest, i'll much prefer direct and honest communication, i simply love spending time with people so yes, i'll make time for conversations...you must know how important you are to me.

So yes, this is an open call, any misunderstandings you have? you know that i'm here to listen...

MAN! do i sound angsty or what? =) hahaaha! Anyways...this is just a belated rant, and not directed at anyone, but yes, been hearing too much of this misunderstood thing, so yups...youth, friends, people i love, yeah...let's not bear grudges or avoid ppl because of misunderstandings, much better to clear things up! Dun allow discord to creep into your relationships yah?

Anyways...i thank God that this has been a season of prayer, and growing in intimacy. Truly He has been guiding me clearly even in just choosing a place to eat or which path to walk in Holland V! Simple things, but all God-moments when in tune and listening to Him!

Lord, this year, as it begins...i pray for all i love, that you shine your light through us, and bless each person we meet. May each of us determine to set our paths according to the plan you have for us, may you teach us to forsake the things that wound your heart, and turn to the things that are pleasing in your sight. I pray for strength for the journey, healing after the wounds, perseverance during trials, your magnificence over our mediocrity, show us your glory and how your Love truly is a Love that never fails us and never leaves us. Turn our attention to you and how we can nurture this relationship more, so that we Love you more and keep growing this Love that we have. Amen!

Authority from my ransomed Saviour...

Was talking to a dear friend today and it just popped out so evidently to me that true authority and leadership are never by virtue of having a position, rank, or seniority. Anyone basing their identity on that, is bound to be small-minded and oppressive.

The only way to fashion true spiritual authority is through trusting and enduring the flames of the crucible and the hammer blows of the master blacksmith. This has been the hardest, toughest, most painful, literally heart-breaking season of my life...and yet, i see how by enduring through the confusion and releasing my desires back to God, He has been entrusting me with His heart for people more and more...this is something i could never experience fully in the past because i was holding back, because i loved in only one dimension...

But...the talk today (though totally unrelated to this post!) was illuminating! (I kinda make funny connections all the time and they make sense to me, but i still have to form them into coherent thoughts for the sake of others! so they understand me! ahahah!)

Oh well, i may have to think to form the thoughts into words, but God has this way of always speaking very clearly! =)

Samuel Brengle said this about Spiritual Authority and Leadership,

"It is not won by promotion, but by many prayers and tears. It is attained by confession of sin, and much heartsearching and humbling before God; by self-surrender, a courageous sacrifice of every idol, a bold uncomplaining embrace of the cross, and by an eternal, unfaltering looking unto Jesus crucified.

It is not gained by seeking great things for ourselves, but like Paul, by counting those things that are gain to us as loss for Christ. This is a great price, but it must be paid by the leader who would not be merely a nominal but a real spiritual leader of men, a leader whose power is recognised in heaven, on earth and in hell."

If that is what it takes...i thank you Lord for trusting me enough to put me through this furnace.

Yup...experienced so many of the things mentioned above, had to surrender til i became less than nothing, but counting those things that are gain to me as loss...this has led me to glimpse so much more of the Lord that i didn't know before. And i'm thankful to God, despite the pain. just like the Casting Crowns song...I'll praise Him in this storm...and i truly have and will continue to do so, because i know my Father loves me and will never bring harm to me.

Sometimes, even what we see as the best things in our lives become our chains, chains that bind us down and hold us back from where we should be. But that's why God gave his son, Jesus Christ, who paid the ransom, broke those chains, secured our hope, became our shield and our portion...so we trust in just one thing, and once our focus changes and shifts back to Him, then...maybe then, He begins to answer those questions we've always been asking, or maybe...those questions lose their importance...and HE continues to make all things beautiful.

There is such a paradox, that even in suffering, we can have joy! Even in hurt, there can be such concern! Even in pain, there can be unselfish love! How unfathomable are God's ways! How wonderful! No wonder He is the Saviour! =)

Christ is either Lord of all, or He is not Lord at all.

Christ is either Lord of all, or He is not Lord at all.

God certainly took me seriously, so seriously that He sent His son Jesus Christ to die for me, so that i can stand before Him sinless and righteous, because of the cleansing blood shed on the cross.

Sometimes i wonder...do i take him seriously? or seriously enough? if God could send His son for me, why do i whine or long for things that really...are miniscule trifles when compared to knowing Him!

It is rather easy to stay in our cliques, go splash money, enjoy holidays, delight in our gifts, avoid responsibility, enjoy the praise of people, take photographs, listen to what we want to, go where we want to because we can...but at the root of it all...if we really look hard at it, examine our motives, isn't the root of it abit narcissistic, selfish, self-centered? at least most of the time?

Martin Luther said...

"No one understands scripture

unless it is brought home to him,

that is,

unless he experiences it."

I thank you Lord, that through this whole process of refining, i can see it better and understand your word, and your heartbeat a little more...

Lord Jesus, i have just a simple prayer this early morning, be...Lord of all.

Interim post!

haha! Been a long while since i posted! been busy with camps and i dunno when i can properly do an updated post! but yes, i thank and praise the Lord!

Youthphoria Encounter camp was great! Underground church did us a huge favour! Praise the Lord! We learnt so so much more about Worship in all aspects!

Crusade Meta camp - Fantastic! Main thanksgiving? the 64 who accepted Christ! Wow! God is how amazing! =)

not gonna do a long update, but yups...praise the Lord for all these, and i'm gonna end with a quote that so tickled me with it's humour and truth!

"God grant me the serenity to accept people who drive me crazy;

the courage to up and get going,

and the wisdom to know you love the bananas out of me even when i screw things up."

~Hugh Myrrh~

yea...How you love us feeble creatures! what a BIG God we serve! =)