Nemo?

Haha! Sometimes my deep thoughts scare not only myself...but others!

Mmmm...i use blogging/writing as a form of expression and to allow my thoughts to run and flow, because i've realised that i think best when i'm able to articulate it via speaking or writing...so yes...some deep thoughts are definitely emo, and filled with expressing stuff passionately.

That's the way i write & express best, and yes, it may seem scary, but i need to get the rawness out before i reach the gems of well-formed thought. I've learnt a long time ago to be comfortable with it, and yes, it gets unsettling, but the process of pressing into a thought and forming it coherently really really helps me to solidify my thoughts, and move them into practical action and solid principles.

My recent thoughts have been about Truth, integrity & the expression of it.
How it is easily compromised, whether it is intentional or not.
In the name of fun, in the name of being well-liked, because it seems right...and all other myriad reasons.

I think that being able to hang on to a thought, to follow through on it for an extended period really helps me...because then i can follow the thought to each of it's individual branches, and see how it all develops, and how as it grows, what the fruit will look like...to me, this has always been a natural byproduct of thinking things through. And one that is invaluable.

And to carry through this analogy...
I see that in making little compromises for one another, for the sake of lesser reasons than for the Glory of God, we begin to erode our own foundations of love, of truth, of integrity.

I see that to be able to bear the fruit of Love, of Truth, we need to have an integrity that is uncompromised, a character that is shaped by living out truth, a life that is real because of the mistakes learnt from ramming into truth headlong.

I realised also...along the way, why i feel so passionately, why this is something that can move me to tears. I've been a victim of untruth, of lies, of backstabbing and 2-faced individuals, from my father to the closest people that i've known. All have in some sense been actors more than daring to being real with their struggles. I acknowledge the sin nature & how we will constantly let others down, so forgiving, overlooking and surrendering have been 3 words i've learnt well.

Yet, i believe that JUST because we know there is a sin nature, doesn't mean we have to cater to it. I want to be better, to improve now, to learn to be wholesome, full, victorious, a person to be trusted, i want my Yes to be Yes, and my No to be No. No need to second guess.

And maybe, that's why compromise...a willingness to give up God's best for a substitute rubs me the wrong way. I believe God has a standard, He doesn't demand perfection but I think He wants to see growth. I believe that if God put good talents, and if He blessed us as unsaved sinful people, then...when we turn to Him, our gifts & talents ought to be greatly sanctified and used more for His glory. Not to do so would mean that our lives have not been transformed, and we have a form of godliness but are denying it's power.

I believe that the Gospel is one that changes lives, because of Jesus, the One.
And that daily life with it's trials, Joys, pains, delights, these are the instruments of Grace that God uses to mould us & grow us. Each time we face them, our response shows our belief...is God good? Do we take Him at His word? Are we a Living testimony, salt & light? Or is our candle sputtering, smoldering, and almost dying out?

God in His divine time, puts divine promptings upon the hearts of His person...
Noah to build an ark, inland, far from water...
Moses to lead the people out of Egypt against all odds
Joshua to enter the promised land amidst the giants
David to fight Goliath, then to lead the nation...
Nehemiah to rebuild the wall & lead the people...
All were gargantuan tasks...impossible in man's eyes...
but...stirred by a prompting...and a Faith in God that triumphed over fear...
they overcame...

I believe that God has put certain promptings in my heart too...
ones that delight in truth, and gets offended by compromise...
ones that demand God's Glory above all else...
A focus that puts God above how people may feel about me...
Yes, when the burdens get hard & heavy...i struggle...
but i'm comforted that God allows us to struggle...
Like King David in his Psalms,
Jeremiah in Lamentations,
Solomon in Ecclesiastes...
Because THROUGH the struggle we know Him better...
And yes, i wanna "...know Christ, and the power of His resurrection and
the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings" (Phil 3:10)
They come together, and there is no need to try to escape one for the other.

So yes, some fight in gang fights, & establish violence as their means,
I fight with equal violence on my knees,
praying hard for transformed hearts, malleable lives,
people who hear God's promptings & heed (not ignore) them.
The fight for hearts and minds is real,
one that is always seen as an uphill task...
but no...some victories are won inch by inch,
and if this is a battle worth fighting,
then it is time to keep battling...

Intercession is the first point of engaging in battle,
the second is moving truth into practical application...
i see that clearly, so yes God, i hear it well and will be faithful in that.

Maybe then...there may come steps 3 & 4...