Leap year

I just looked at my watch,
it tells me that it's the 1st of March 2008,

my watch doesn't recognise Leap Year...

But I do...

Words are not enough to adequately describe what i feel...

Character

Godly Character is not the sum of many disparate attributes. It is the single quality of Christlikeness.

Tenderheartedness is not the same as faintheartedness. True kindness is actually a gracious strength. It presupposes a steadfast tenacity that sees a relationship through trials and hardship.
Self-control also involves the mind. If your thought life is not under control, evil thinking will quickly rob you of spiritual victory, and eventually ruin your life.

Real Joy is profound even when our circumstances are most difficult to bear. It is not a shallow, giddy, FLEETING sort of glee, but a deep-down, abiding sense of well-being that stems from the satisfaction of knowing God.

stunned...

After the lousy run on Sunday, i decided to haul my lazy butt out for a run tonight...part reward, part needing a run, part wanting a good sweat, part spending time with God! =)

And Dad just totally stunned me...
I was a third into my 5km run...and just breaking into a nice sweat, when i spotted a group of people standing and very animated on the canal pathway. I thought i had just stumbled on a gangfight or something, and i contemplated turning around. But upon taking out my earphones, the FIRST word i heard was "HALLELUJAH!"...it totally caused my mouth to drop! Here i was 10plus pm at night, witness to a canalside prayer meeting by indian nationals...a tremendously loud and passionate prayer meeting! They were gesturing, praying aloud (in their native language) and when i passed by, i saw that everyone had a songsheet and songbook! These people had planned this meeting well!

I was so amazed at the sight that i was just marveling with God as i continued running along, and my mind was really going wild! It's like...wow...i know that i pray for these workers and for their homeland, and it is amazing for me to see a sight like this, and to imagine them lifting up prayers for us too...for their employers, for the people around them, maybe even for my safety as i run along the canal at nite! Gosh...my mind was filled with such awe! And yeah...i decided that if they were finished as i ran back, i would say "hi!", and yeah...i was kinda looking forward to it (tho trembling about the unexpected also!) and as i came back past them 15 mins later...Dad just amazed me even more...not only were they NOT finished, they had hardly quietened down! In fact, i think that they were even more animated, some prostrate, some crying, hands lifted up, and more "Hallelujahs" than words i didn't recognise! WOW!

Talk about fervency, passion and desire. I found it on a sidewalk, amongst people i never expected to see, in the dead of night. I'm humbled and totally struck by how blessed i am to have witnessed that sight. Thank you Dad.

dementia

Phew...a week of illness (flu and sore throat) set against the backdrop of a frenzy of frenetic action. =) hahahha!

ANYWAYS...cheem language...seems so unlike me...but yeah...i need to flic flac some... I realise that i've allowed all of my creativity to rot and waste away...hence...the title of this post.

In the name of reaching the masses and making difficult concepts easy, i've constantly striven to hammer home a point by sharpening my prose by using fewer words, & those that are easier to grasp. But yes, while i realise that there is much beauty in simplicity, sometimes, objects of beauty can only be described by unique means. I'll leave that obtuse and undefined...after all, who can define true beauty adequately?

Been loving my creative projects of late...the posters, the videos, the teaser, the magazine, the articles, i think i feel most comfortable when i have that space and time to create and craft something clear, concise, poignant, something that strikes on several levels, and simultaneously appeals to multiple senses. I like the feeling that everything is rolling along well, feels like something amazing is going to be churned out...=P

It was a marvelous week...saturated the campus with 24.2K of magazines! AMAZING!
While i know that i should feel the victorious exhilaration of a job well done, at the back of my mind, i can't shake the feeling that saturation is just the sowing part...

We have spread the seed out far and wide, now it is God's job to cause it to grow...and yeah...we still have the mandate to go out and harvest. That is the challenge ahead! So...even as we look forward...my thots are on the events that are happening, this week, next week, the month ahead, the year going forward. Has our preparation been enough? Did our pre-e focus help to set the stage? Did the skills we imparted in conversational E come into play? How can we better learn from out mistakes? How can we encourage and build people who are not concerned just to wait for opportunities, but are people who actively seek out and create opportunities to present the gospel...

So many things that might be debilitating thots in other circumstances...BUT i feel an awesome sense of peace and of wonder! =) I feel just like a child, waiting for Daddy to spring a surprise, to come up with something unexpected! =) Why? Cuz He ALWAYS does! =) That is the hope that bubbles forth in my heart! The Joy that is inexplicable!

You know something? seeing Dad@work is something that i never want to forget! =) In January, i already saw Dad working in a "Pay-it-forward" manner, and this month, i see Him so mightily during distribution, and now this sense of expectant wonder! Hmmm...wow...i'm amazed! Dad, keep my heart constantly tender towards you and what you are doing! =)

Flame...arise...

"Come near to the holy men and women of the past and you will soon feel the heat of their desire after God. They mourned for Him, they prayed and wrestled and sought for Him day and night, in season and out, and when they had found Him the finding was all the sweeter for the long seeking. Moses used the fact that he knew God as an argument for knowing Him better.

"Now, therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, show me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight;"

and from there he rose to make the daring request, "I beseech thee, show me thy glory." God was frankly pleased by this display of ardor, and the next day called Moses into the mount, and there in solemn procession made all His glory pass before him."

~The Pursuit of God~
A.W.Tozer

Alot of times, the fury of our passion fades after the initial flame. How i wish it were not so, but sadly it is. The key then is how to keep the flame going. Been reading alot books, and they just happen to be classics...."The Calvary Road", Roy Hession, and "The Pursuit of God", A.W. Tozer. Love these classics and somehow, they speak to me in a way that modern books do not. Think i may just have an old soul...=P

Life this season has been really challenging, stress and workload has been really high...the campaign starts this week...11th & 12th, then the harvest event on 19th. I think for me, i really wanna see the students more effective and unafraid to share their faith. I think this campaign is a brilliant Pre-E time, and yes, Lord, use this whole season for your Glory! It's been immensely stretching but yeah...all things worth doing are worth sacrificing for! =) I hope that the strategies and everything learnt will gave an impact far beyond just this year, but i hope it will be a life-long skill for everyone involved.

Ok...just rambling here...back to time with the guys!

We're waiting for pizza and watching Shanghai Knights, i'm actually clearing work but yeah...took some minutes just to blog! =) hahahah!

Forever Love redux

Loving You...is not only because of Your beauty
I love You more & more as Your every gaze stirs me
Because You let me see forever, to understand myself...
Now, I'm soOooo going to cherish my remaining days

Loving me means taking some pain & unfairness,
It's not going to be a natural or easy decision
When i feel your breath near me, and your tenderness near...
My heart calms in response

I want to be the object of your affection...

Forever Love, I want to live my whole life loving You,
from now on, you will be my everything...my Joyful Reason for living!

Heard "Forever Love" by Wang Lee Hom and his lyrics were just very meaningful, and i decided to translate and then paraphase to express what is on my heart too! =)

Lord, such songs pale when sung to anyone else, i think that they all describe that God-shaped vacuum that we all have and try to fill...but the best love songs speak of an enduring, sacrificial, selfless & everlasting Love possible only in You. All creation and all created beings hunger after You, and i thank You that you never hide your face!

Lord Jesus, teach me to be a better communicator of your truth, showing your face, demonstrating your Love, carrying your Fragrance, being your hands & feet to wherever you may lead me. Amen.

True Joy

"Faith, as i'm growing to understand it more,
is about looking beyond my circumstances to a person.

To have faith in better circumstances,
even in God creating better circumstances,
is NOT true faith.

I want to be the kind of man who can watch every
dream go down in flames and still yearn to be
intimately involved in kingdom living,
intimately involved with my friend the King,
and still be willing to take another risk
just because it delights Him for me to do so.
And my flesh shivers to think about it."

~David Shepherd~

Learning to Love You in the wonderful and smooth times is not hard, it's in fact greatly pleasurable and delightful to my spirit. However, the journey of learning to Love You in the dark times, the times where dreams vanish in flames, where things are complicated and not beautiful, that is where the journey really begins.

eyes turn away...
throbbing heart hurts...
I look up...
Tears well up...
Vision is blurred...

just enough to see the face of God

My hurting heart swells with worship,
I discover how deeply i pant for You.
My soul longs for You,
above the hurt...
and that's the way it should be.

Thank you Lord.

I'll still offer up myself in praise to you. Regardless...and always.

There is only one way to love...
recklessly and with total abandon.
risking self, because Love is nothing without action.

Thank You for that example on the cross.

So arrogant we are sometimes...

"It's so natural to think the Presence of Jesus has no greater purpose than to improve the quality of our journey through life - with quality defined as a pleasurable, satisfying, self-affirming exercise - a journey where certain things don't go wrong or, if they do, they correct themselves.

If dreams never shattered, we would continue to believe that lie and value only what God can do for us now; we would value neither His Presence nor all that He intends to do later. And we would not be willing to pay the devastating price required to experience His Presence now.

Without trials, only spoilt brats would enter heaven. And that would turn heaven into hell."
~Larry Crabb~

MMmm...Wow...yeah...the first thought on my mind after reading the above passage was..."So arrogant we are sometimes..." How can we even presume that we know better than God, how could we demand anything of God? How could i ever doubt the Love that He has when He didn't hesitate to give His very own Son to redeem me?

But yet...the truth is, sometimes, i really really desire for present circumstances to be more ideal, for things to be clear, for only good to remain, and no bad. I wanna kick and scream against the circumstances, i wanna rant and wail, Yeah...it's true...without trials i would be a spoilt brat...

We do not live in a cotton candy world, ugliness remains, and yes, in our leadership team meeting today, we had thanksgiving time prior to beginning, and yeah...i thanked God for trials. And yeah...i really mean it. It seems like i've been constantly fighting fire, and deadlines, and snowballing work (plenty of times not due to my negligence) since 2008 began. Yet, somehow, though it is always on my mind, i can still genuinely give thanks!

And yeah...tonight, i thank God that the keynote program went well, the vision was cast, i remembered once again that i'm one small cog in Dad's big plan, I see that many things that are done cannot be 'measured' with any human measure...I sense the pleasure of His deep and abiding Presence.

We showed this quote earlier....

"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for good men to do nothing"
~Edmund Burke~

I never want to be someone who does nothing...Lord, grant me the strength, the boldness, the Faith in you, and your everlasting Agape Love...and make me a man who acts for You and because of You. May your Love always compel me and guide my actions. Amen.

Frustrations? part of life....

Oceans will part
If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Oceans will part, nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Sometimes, things can't be controlled, and it is in those moments that we are tested in all ways possible...I'm so awed and amazed sometimes...last night, i was really sian'd out, so many things went wrong, MULTIPLE people missed deadlines, and everything snowballed on my end, really felt supremely overwhelmed. To the point where i really wanted to just go for a midnight run and really run the problems into the ground! Really...had that thot at 12.30am...but yeah...combination of a sore knee and weak will, i decided to just hunker down.

Yeah...but Dad is good, i think it is really when we are pushed to the limits of our endurance, when we can't take anymore, then it tests our dependence. I literally resigned and asked God to take over. And this morning, we sang this song that spoke so clearly to me, " Oceans will part, nations come, At the whisper of Your call"Just a whisper...and all these things will be fine. WOW!

And so...i'm surrendered back into your hands dear Lord. Watching to see you work. Trusting, letting Hope arise, killing fear and listening to God all the way. Not easy, but yeah...doing it.

Thank you for such Grace dear Lord.

Reflection Morning

Took the time this morning to have an extended time with Dad. Such breakfasts with God always delight my soul! =)

"Integrity is telling myself the truth,
and honesty is telling the truth to other people"
~Spencer Johnson~

Been thinking alot these days...they have been days of intense reflection and just learning and relearning things. One key lesson i have been actively exercising and challenging others is in honesty & integrity. Doing the RIGHT thing, even when it is difficult. Even when nothing goes right...keep DOING right. why?

This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD.
Jeremiah 9:23,24

Eric Liddell once said that when he ran, he felt the pleasure of God. I've felt such a thing when runnning too...but yeah...i feel His pleasure more when i exercise my will to do the RIGHT thing, especially when it is difficult. Been having such a challenging 2008 thus far, just doing the RIGHT thing and challenging others to do so...and you know, it always requires a certain surrender, a giving up of our personal rights, just to do the RIGHT thing. But it is in learning that, that i've been growing more and more. As Shawn keeps saying nowadays, "the goal is not perfection, but growth" So yeah...grow well, grow well in intimacy & obedience to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who at the same time, is so close and intimate that we can call Him...Abba...Daddy. WOW!

This is how we know we're living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He's given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we've seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God's Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we've embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.
1 John 4:13-16 (The Message)

Enjoyable weekend!

Had fun this weekend, used my keynote program to do up a funky presentation, and yeah...tho i'm still learning about it, but yeah! totally loving it! =) I'm so thankful! Tons to learn but i'm eager to! Got another one this Wed nite...and yeah...will try out some new stuff that i saw up on the screen today! =) Coolness! =P

Anyways...dinner at ABC market was great! And when the auntie came to get payment, the things she said about Ah Seng & then me, were utterly hilarious! Gosh! The sight on Ah Seng's face was totally priceless! Even being suaned about it later was worth it! =)

Today...was supposed to go running with Ah Seng after lunch, but yeah...he decided soccer would be better. And yeah...my bum knee, and the lack of boots prohibited me from doing that...was kinda resigned to running alone (cuz i really wanna exercise) but yeah...i'm glad the younger ones wanted to play captain's ball! Joining them was fun! Oh...prior to that...the letter writing moment...yeah...something precious & well worth remembering! And oh...during captain's ball, I saw and heard a ROARING lion(ness) in close proximity! Hahahahaha! Super hilarious! =D hahahaha!

Great day of rest! And i'm glad i set it aside and guarded it well today! =)
Extremely satisfied! =D

Thank you DAD!

Like the point made yesterday, Love can never JUST be an emotion, True Love will come at a cost, and it will be accompanied with action. I wanna learn more of such extravagant Love, and show it more fully in life. May this life be a surrender, a sacrifice, a total offering for you Dad. Amen.

Wow!

Hmmm...i was searching for this song called "I would die for you" and i never expected to find so many songs with that very same title, and most of them are dark or emo songs...nothing like the one i was looking for.

Well...here's the song, and it's not emo at all, i think it's possibly the truest and rightest way things can be expressed!

"I would die for you" - Mercyme

And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I'm here
You never know why You're alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?

No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free

Not many would consider this freedom, but truly...Life is never clearer than when seen thru the lense of death. I look thru everything i do with this in mind...not my death, i'm not that morbid, but the death of Christ who paid the cost for us all. Yes, ALL of us, unworthy us.

Gonna be teaching on His death this weekend, and this always fills me with awe & trembling. How can so great a sacrifice be encapsulated into one small teaching? I dunno...but i will try, cuz it is the greatest truth and the one that REALLY needs to be heard.

Christ's death compels me, it really does...
there is nothing else that i count on par with Christ.
NOT EVEN CLOSE...

To borrow from the song...

I pray that you will use my life,
in whatever way your Name is glorified,
I promise you, i'll give you all there is,
how can i possibly do less,
when through Your own death...i live
You never know why you're alive,
until you know what you would die for.

I would die for You

Beautiful

I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Isaiah 61:10

So many things to be thankful for...chief of which would be that i have been clothed in garments far more precious than i deserve, and honoured with robes i could never 'earn'.

I'm just beginning to fathom His Love, really...

How amazing you are Lord! My soul overflows...for you!

My redeemer is faithful and true

My Redeemer Is Faithful And True
(Steven Curtis Chapman and James Isaac Elliott)

[Psalm 103:17]

As I look back on the road I've travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.

Wow!

Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have
But...of the best leaders
When their work is finished
Their task is done
The people will remark
We have done it ourselves
~Chinese Proverb~

Year-End musings...
I really beginning to enjoy seeing how things unfold!

So many times, in so many examples in the bible, the heroes of Faith did not live long enough to see what their faithfulness produced. I think that is why my heart always jumps and delights in the victories that i see! It reminds me that it is not just the fruit of this generation, or people, but alot of times it is the fruit of several generations of faithful people. Gosh...what a marvel, and an astounding story that is!

What an amazing tapestry God paints. It is totally amazing and beautiful! I am just beginning to grasp the ramifications of the mega-masterpiece that God is weaving! But already, the smile on my face matches the jump in my heart! =)

Faithfulness is not an accident

"Faithfulness is NOT an accident.
It arises out of what one is through and through"
~Leon Morris~

Quotes frequently catch my eye & pique my interest. And this quote is poignant and true, the true test of faithfulness is in the midst of trial. Only the fiery furnace can show up innate character weaknesses that can be covered up under layers of facades, and beneath the thin veil of a masquerade.

The secret of being real is to realise that we don't "have it all together", we are insecure, weak, hurt and imperfect people. Realising our frailties and acknowledging them (as opposed to covering them up) helps us face ourselves as who we REALLY are, and then embarks us on a journey to being better. The symptoms highlight the problem, so let's not mask the symptoms, but face them because they help us to understand the real root problem so that we can work on them.

Faithfulness even when we are weak is the hallmark of a deeper inner strength, a constitution shored up, and in my personal experience, sometimes...Faithfulness is just holding on, holding on and holding on, to what is good & true & real, rather than just giving up at the first sign of trouble. Faithfulness to me is a stubborn reluctance to give up, it is a rememberance of the beautiful, forgetting the ugly...trusting in God for the best. Faithfulness is hard, the rewards difficult to see during the trial, it is not easy, but it is divine.

5 loaves & 2 fishes

"Take my 5 loaves & 2 fishes...
do with them as you will...i surrender...

take my fears, my inhibitions,
all my burdens, my ambitions,
you can use it all, no gift's too small...
I trust in You"

~Corrine May~

Ever felt like all you had to offer was a broken mess, things that do not seem beautiful, things that are unworthy of being given as gifts? Maybe the works of your hands seem useless, or your best efforts fall flat?

I've felt that...but better still, i've felt the redeeming presence of Jesus, the one who takes all that i have, then shapes, moulds, uses it, and crafts something beautiful out of it.

The brokenness i thought was ugly, the pain i felt was unjustified, the hunger that seemed never to be satiated, the scars that i didn't want to bear, the tears that seemed neverending, He took them all as i surrendered. And He used it all to bear witness to His awesome unending Love.

"You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle" (Psalm 56:8, ESV)

Yes Lord, use them all...no gift is too small...

My run in the sun... =)

If you observe a really happy man, you will find...
that he is happy in the course of living life
twenty-four crowded hours each day.
      -- W. Beran Wolfe

Yups...was very glad that throughout the training
and the long runs, it never got boring,
but in fact was very valuable time for me!
Clearing my head and spending time
with the Lord! =)

The half marathon was great!
So good that i really desired to continue running,
but haha! you can't do that! Pity!
But yeah...was still feeling pretty
good after the run!

As mentioned in an earlier post,
i wasn't running to aim for a timing,
just to maximise heart rate
and get a solid run under my belt!
so yeah...was a good perspective for me,
and the heart rate monitor was really good!
kept me in pace for the 21km!

In the end, i finished the run
in 2hrs 7min 7 secs!
Achieving my target
of a 2hr 10min run. =)

So yeah...very joyful! =)
Achieved my fitness goal for the year! =)
My early bday present! Thank you Lord! =)
Feels good to have accomplished
what i set out to do earlier this year! =)

Oh...and yeah...was very surprised to find out
that my resting heart rate the day
before the race was 56 beats/min!
That was exciting news to me!
haha! i'm mad! =P

Steward your body well!
Life is the TRUE marathon!

Marathon? Nah...

This was on my back during the StandChart run!

Okok...i didn't run the full marathon, just the half, so yeah...stone me, but my philosophy is still the same, Life is the true marathon, and i'm in it for the long haul! =)

Was just chatting with Ray, and he was mulling over how he cramped up and almost wanted to throw it all in. Well...i'm proud of him that he didn't, running a marathon is just like life in that way isn't it? It tests our resolve, when the trials and testings (cramps & pains) come, how do we react?

Those who hang in there, never give up, and finish the race...they and only they know the true satisfaction and the joy of finshing the race well.

I wanna finish the race of Life well...=)

Christians don't tell lies, they sing them...

Wow...i heard the line above in a podcast...and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Christians don't tell lies, they sing them..."

Caused me to be utterly stunned as i realised the immense measure of truth in that! Music is the soundtrack of my life, my companion on many desperate days, and podcasts are the messages that stir my heart with the truth of God. But yeah...sometimes, the songs that they inspire in my heart...they....just stay there, they stew and they ruminate, but it doesn't come out in my hands. It does not transform my life or make me into the person that i know i ought to be. Instead...sometimes i'm just a pale image of who i really ought to be.

And yeah...the songs that ring in my ears? They convict me once again...of how i could be more, how my sights are set too low, how i've been crawling in the mud, when i should be soaring up in the heights! But yeah...the good thing is that i'm not gonna let it get me down, the songs inspire a loftier vision in me, one that i wanna stumble towards! Tripping up is normal, but heading onwards and upwards ought always to be my goal! =)

Well...thank God for the wake up call! =)