So arrogant we are sometimes...

"It's so natural to think the Presence of Jesus has no greater purpose than to improve the quality of our journey through life - with quality defined as a pleasurable, satisfying, self-affirming exercise - a journey where certain things don't go wrong or, if they do, they correct themselves.

If dreams never shattered, we would continue to believe that lie and value only what God can do for us now; we would value neither His Presence nor all that He intends to do later. And we would not be willing to pay the devastating price required to experience His Presence now.

Without trials, only spoilt brats would enter heaven. And that would turn heaven into hell."
~Larry Crabb~

MMmm...Wow...yeah...the first thought on my mind after reading the above passage was..."So arrogant we are sometimes..." How can we even presume that we know better than God, how could we demand anything of God? How could i ever doubt the Love that He has when He didn't hesitate to give His very own Son to redeem me?

But yet...the truth is, sometimes, i really really desire for present circumstances to be more ideal, for things to be clear, for only good to remain, and no bad. I wanna kick and scream against the circumstances, i wanna rant and wail, Yeah...it's true...without trials i would be a spoilt brat...

We do not live in a cotton candy world, ugliness remains, and yes, in our leadership team meeting today, we had thanksgiving time prior to beginning, and yeah...i thanked God for trials. And yeah...i really mean it. It seems like i've been constantly fighting fire, and deadlines, and snowballing work (plenty of times not due to my negligence) since 2008 began. Yet, somehow, though it is always on my mind, i can still genuinely give thanks!

And yeah...tonight, i thank God that the keynote program went well, the vision was cast, i remembered once again that i'm one small cog in Dad's big plan, I see that many things that are done cannot be 'measured' with any human measure...I sense the pleasure of His deep and abiding Presence.

We showed this quote earlier....

"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for good men to do nothing"
~Edmund Burke~

I never want to be someone who does nothing...Lord, grant me the strength, the boldness, the Faith in you, and your everlasting Agape Love...and make me a man who acts for You and because of You. May your Love always compel me and guide my actions. Amen.

Frustrations? part of life....

Oceans will part
If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Oceans will part, nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Sometimes, things can't be controlled, and it is in those moments that we are tested in all ways possible...I'm so awed and amazed sometimes...last night, i was really sian'd out, so many things went wrong, MULTIPLE people missed deadlines, and everything snowballed on my end, really felt supremely overwhelmed. To the point where i really wanted to just go for a midnight run and really run the problems into the ground! Really...had that thot at 12.30am...but yeah...combination of a sore knee and weak will, i decided to just hunker down.

Yeah...but Dad is good, i think it is really when we are pushed to the limits of our endurance, when we can't take anymore, then it tests our dependence. I literally resigned and asked God to take over. And this morning, we sang this song that spoke so clearly to me, " Oceans will part, nations come, At the whisper of Your call"Just a whisper...and all these things will be fine. WOW!

And so...i'm surrendered back into your hands dear Lord. Watching to see you work. Trusting, letting Hope arise, killing fear and listening to God all the way. Not easy, but yeah...doing it.

Thank you for such Grace dear Lord.

Reflection Morning

Took the time this morning to have an extended time with Dad. Such breakfasts with God always delight my soul! =)

"Integrity is telling myself the truth,
and honesty is telling the truth to other people"
~Spencer Johnson~

Been thinking alot these days...they have been days of intense reflection and just learning and relearning things. One key lesson i have been actively exercising and challenging others is in honesty & integrity. Doing the RIGHT thing, even when it is difficult. Even when nothing goes right...keep DOING right. why?

This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD.
Jeremiah 9:23,24

Eric Liddell once said that when he ran, he felt the pleasure of God. I've felt such a thing when runnning too...but yeah...i feel His pleasure more when i exercise my will to do the RIGHT thing, especially when it is difficult. Been having such a challenging 2008 thus far, just doing the RIGHT thing and challenging others to do so...and you know, it always requires a certain surrender, a giving up of our personal rights, just to do the RIGHT thing. But it is in learning that, that i've been growing more and more. As Shawn keeps saying nowadays, "the goal is not perfection, but growth" So yeah...grow well, grow well in intimacy & obedience to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who at the same time, is so close and intimate that we can call Him...Abba...Daddy. WOW!

This is how we know we're living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He's given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we've seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God's Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we've embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.
1 John 4:13-16 (The Message)

Enjoyable weekend!

Had fun this weekend, used my keynote program to do up a funky presentation, and yeah...tho i'm still learning about it, but yeah! totally loving it! =) I'm so thankful! Tons to learn but i'm eager to! Got another one this Wed nite...and yeah...will try out some new stuff that i saw up on the screen today! =) Coolness! =P

Anyways...dinner at ABC market was great! And when the auntie came to get payment, the things she said about Ah Seng & then me, were utterly hilarious! Gosh! The sight on Ah Seng's face was totally priceless! Even being suaned about it later was worth it! =)

Today...was supposed to go running with Ah Seng after lunch, but yeah...he decided soccer would be better. And yeah...my bum knee, and the lack of boots prohibited me from doing that...was kinda resigned to running alone (cuz i really wanna exercise) but yeah...i'm glad the younger ones wanted to play captain's ball! Joining them was fun! Oh...prior to that...the letter writing moment...yeah...something precious & well worth remembering! And oh...during captain's ball, I saw and heard a ROARING lion(ness) in close proximity! Hahahahaha! Super hilarious! =D hahahaha!

Great day of rest! And i'm glad i set it aside and guarded it well today! =)
Extremely satisfied! =D

Thank you DAD!

Like the point made yesterday, Love can never JUST be an emotion, True Love will come at a cost, and it will be accompanied with action. I wanna learn more of such extravagant Love, and show it more fully in life. May this life be a surrender, a sacrifice, a total offering for you Dad. Amen.

Wow!

Hmmm...i was searching for this song called "I would die for you" and i never expected to find so many songs with that very same title, and most of them are dark or emo songs...nothing like the one i was looking for.

Well...here's the song, and it's not emo at all, i think it's possibly the truest and rightest way things can be expressed!

"I would die for you" - Mercyme

And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I'm here
You never know why You're alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?

No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free

Not many would consider this freedom, but truly...Life is never clearer than when seen thru the lense of death. I look thru everything i do with this in mind...not my death, i'm not that morbid, but the death of Christ who paid the cost for us all. Yes, ALL of us, unworthy us.

Gonna be teaching on His death this weekend, and this always fills me with awe & trembling. How can so great a sacrifice be encapsulated into one small teaching? I dunno...but i will try, cuz it is the greatest truth and the one that REALLY needs to be heard.

Christ's death compels me, it really does...
there is nothing else that i count on par with Christ.
NOT EVEN CLOSE...

To borrow from the song...

I pray that you will use my life,
in whatever way your Name is glorified,
I promise you, i'll give you all there is,
how can i possibly do less,
when through Your own death...i live
You never know why you're alive,
until you know what you would die for.

I would die for You

Beautiful

I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Isaiah 61:10

So many things to be thankful for...chief of which would be that i have been clothed in garments far more precious than i deserve, and honoured with robes i could never 'earn'.

I'm just beginning to fathom His Love, really...

How amazing you are Lord! My soul overflows...for you!

My redeemer is faithful and true

My Redeemer Is Faithful And True
(Steven Curtis Chapman and James Isaac Elliott)

[Psalm 103:17]

As I look back on the road I've travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.

Wow!

Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have
But...of the best leaders
When their work is finished
Their task is done
The people will remark
We have done it ourselves
~Chinese Proverb~

Year-End musings...
I really beginning to enjoy seeing how things unfold!

So many times, in so many examples in the bible, the heroes of Faith did not live long enough to see what their faithfulness produced. I think that is why my heart always jumps and delights in the victories that i see! It reminds me that it is not just the fruit of this generation, or people, but alot of times it is the fruit of several generations of faithful people. Gosh...what a marvel, and an astounding story that is!

What an amazing tapestry God paints. It is totally amazing and beautiful! I am just beginning to grasp the ramifications of the mega-masterpiece that God is weaving! But already, the smile on my face matches the jump in my heart! =)

Faithfulness is not an accident

"Faithfulness is NOT an accident.
It arises out of what one is through and through"
~Leon Morris~

Quotes frequently catch my eye & pique my interest. And this quote is poignant and true, the true test of faithfulness is in the midst of trial. Only the fiery furnace can show up innate character weaknesses that can be covered up under layers of facades, and beneath the thin veil of a masquerade.

The secret of being real is to realise that we don't "have it all together", we are insecure, weak, hurt and imperfect people. Realising our frailties and acknowledging them (as opposed to covering them up) helps us face ourselves as who we REALLY are, and then embarks us on a journey to being better. The symptoms highlight the problem, so let's not mask the symptoms, but face them because they help us to understand the real root problem so that we can work on them.

Faithfulness even when we are weak is the hallmark of a deeper inner strength, a constitution shored up, and in my personal experience, sometimes...Faithfulness is just holding on, holding on and holding on, to what is good & true & real, rather than just giving up at the first sign of trouble. Faithfulness to me is a stubborn reluctance to give up, it is a rememberance of the beautiful, forgetting the ugly...trusting in God for the best. Faithfulness is hard, the rewards difficult to see during the trial, it is not easy, but it is divine.

5 loaves & 2 fishes

"Take my 5 loaves & 2 fishes...
do with them as you will...i surrender...

take my fears, my inhibitions,
all my burdens, my ambitions,
you can use it all, no gift's too small...
I trust in You"

~Corrine May~

Ever felt like all you had to offer was a broken mess, things that do not seem beautiful, things that are unworthy of being given as gifts? Maybe the works of your hands seem useless, or your best efforts fall flat?

I've felt that...but better still, i've felt the redeeming presence of Jesus, the one who takes all that i have, then shapes, moulds, uses it, and crafts something beautiful out of it.

The brokenness i thought was ugly, the pain i felt was unjustified, the hunger that seemed never to be satiated, the scars that i didn't want to bear, the tears that seemed neverending, He took them all as i surrendered. And He used it all to bear witness to His awesome unending Love.

"You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle" (Psalm 56:8, ESV)

Yes Lord, use them all...no gift is too small...

My run in the sun... =)

If you observe a really happy man, you will find...
that he is happy in the course of living life
twenty-four crowded hours each day.
      -- W. Beran Wolfe

Yups...was very glad that throughout the training
and the long runs, it never got boring,
but in fact was very valuable time for me!
Clearing my head and spending time
with the Lord! =)

The half marathon was great!
So good that i really desired to continue running,
but haha! you can't do that! Pity!
But yeah...was still feeling pretty
good after the run!

As mentioned in an earlier post,
i wasn't running to aim for a timing,
just to maximise heart rate
and get a solid run under my belt!
so yeah...was a good perspective for me,
and the heart rate monitor was really good!
kept me in pace for the 21km!

In the end, i finished the run
in 2hrs 7min 7 secs!
Achieving my target
of a 2hr 10min run. =)

So yeah...very joyful! =)
Achieved my fitness goal for the year! =)
My early bday present! Thank you Lord! =)
Feels good to have accomplished
what i set out to do earlier this year! =)

Oh...and yeah...was very surprised to find out
that my resting heart rate the day
before the race was 56 beats/min!
That was exciting news to me!
haha! i'm mad! =P

Steward your body well!
Life is the TRUE marathon!

Marathon? Nah...

This was on my back during the StandChart run!

Okok...i didn't run the full marathon, just the half, so yeah...stone me, but my philosophy is still the same, Life is the true marathon, and i'm in it for the long haul! =)

Was just chatting with Ray, and he was mulling over how he cramped up and almost wanted to throw it all in. Well...i'm proud of him that he didn't, running a marathon is just like life in that way isn't it? It tests our resolve, when the trials and testings (cramps & pains) come, how do we react?

Those who hang in there, never give up, and finish the race...they and only they know the true satisfaction and the joy of finshing the race well.

I wanna finish the race of Life well...=)

Christians don't tell lies, they sing them...

Wow...i heard the line above in a podcast...and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Christians don't tell lies, they sing them..."

Caused me to be utterly stunned as i realised the immense measure of truth in that! Music is the soundtrack of my life, my companion on many desperate days, and podcasts are the messages that stir my heart with the truth of God. But yeah...sometimes, the songs that they inspire in my heart...they....just stay there, they stew and they ruminate, but it doesn't come out in my hands. It does not transform my life or make me into the person that i know i ought to be. Instead...sometimes i'm just a pale image of who i really ought to be.

And yeah...the songs that ring in my ears? They convict me once again...of how i could be more, how my sights are set too low, how i've been crawling in the mud, when i should be soaring up in the heights! But yeah...the good thing is that i'm not gonna let it get me down, the songs inspire a loftier vision in me, one that i wanna stumble towards! Tripping up is normal, but heading onwards and upwards ought always to be my goal! =)

Well...thank God for the wake up call! =)

Heartrates!

~~Posted this on Monday!~~

I'm quite excited to run the (half) marathon on Sunday! =) it's actually my first so yeah...will try not to push too hard at first! Hope the excitement doesn't get to me! =)

I found out some interesting stuff yesterday that i'm still trying to research and come to a conclusion...

Found out that my resting heart rate is about 60...(average male is 70, female 75! Go check! hee!) lower probably means more efficient, those Tour De France cyclists and athletes have a resting heart rate of 35-40! Amazing stuff!

And yeah...during my run with Leslie, Gra & Rufus...i was wearing a heart rate monitor, and it recorded that i averaged 173 beats per min for the whole run...according to the stats table and all, that is about 90% of my max heart rate. Technically, that is not supposed to happen, we can only exercise at 90-100% of max heart rate for a maximum of 5 mins (then we exhaust and have to slow down) so yeah...i'm trying to reconcile that right now.

Basically, i'm finding out that it is pretty normal...everyone has a different range of heart motion and all. Lance Armstrong has a 32 resting heart rate and he can max at 200plus, so that's a mega huge range. I'm finding out more about my body and range! So yeah...it's pretty good for me! Glad to know that i have a higher personal range and am able to sustain it! That's helpful info!

I think that i was pretty much training so that i can finish the half in a good time! 2hrs 10mins was my target. The ironic thing is that as i'm learning more, i'm deciding to pace down a lil, i'm gonna use the heart rate monitor during race day too...and i will run at a slightly lower pace than i did yesterday...not going to run for the timing anymore, gonna run more to sustain within my target heart range for the 2 hours plus...that would push my body to be more efficient and actually bring far more lasting results! =)

After all...this StandChart half marathon is a sprint! Life is the TRUE marathon isn't it? =) Time to steward my body well! =)

Fanatical!

A PURE WILL loves God with the whole heart and soul and mind. It is "fanatical"—the greatest insult the modern mind can conceive, and the greatest compliment God can give. It is also the greatest compliment a lover can give: "I love you with my whole heart and soul. My love is not divided. You have no rival."

Peter Kreeft, Back to Virtue

My eyes keep flying to amazing quotes today! And i can't help but be stirred! What truth there is in such words of wisdom!

Many times, "fanatical" carries such a negative connotation but Hmmm...it made me think.

If i get affected by such a word spoken from the lips of men, then aren't i allowing the opinions of men control me? So...in that analysis, am i serving God or serving men? Looks like growth also means growing a thicker skin and not being so affected by so mere words!

Undivided Love demands that...a ceaseless pursuit of something real, total commitment to a cause, not a limp-wristed "love" that falls flat at the first discouraging comment.

That which you fear...you will serve.

May i fear only one thing...the Lord.

Are you scarred?

On my verseminder, it says this for today...

On the last day, Jesus will look us over...
not for medals, diplomas or honours
but for scars.

How true...the battles we fight and press on into, the things REALLY worth fighting for, probably can't ever be quantified, not in a certificate, not in money, possessions, or acclaim.

Yet, every scar that we earn by learning more and more to be like Christ, those are the things that we should carry with humility, the scars of a battle well-fought, and a lesson well-learnt.

It would be a sad day to find out that we had been studying hard, striving hard, achieving many things, yet taking the wrong exam all the time.

Our test is faithfulness to the Word of God, to our Lord Jesus Christ, to know and to worship God in all we do. Failing this test is the biggest failure of all.

Are you studying the right things?

Battle and journey on!

Life is now a battle and a journey. As Eugene Peterson reminds us, "We fight the forces that oppose our becoming whole; we must find our way through difficult and unfamiliar territory to our true home." It's not that there aren't joy and beauty, love and adventure right now - there are. The invasion of the kingdom has begun. But life in it's fullness is yet to come. So we must take seriously the care of our hearts. We must watch over our desire with a fierce love and vigilance, as if we were protecting our most treasured possession. We must do battle with the enemies of our hearts - those sirens that would seduce and shipwreck our desire and that arrows that aim to kill outright. And we must journey forward, toward God, toward the Great Restoration and the adventures to come. How awful to reach the end of our life's road and find we haven't brought our hearts along with us. ~the journey of desire~ John Eldredge

never know, never understand why...

To some, failure is a crippling experience,
for me, it has mostly been a speed bump and then something which i resolve to learn from...to grow into, something to spur me on to be better...

some lessons seem so 'unlearnable',
I wish the righteousness from God that covers me,
would actually help answer ALL questions, and NOW!
but still...some questions have no answers...just YET! =P

perhaps...the answers would never come...
even though they lie there within reach
why no answers still?
that is real sad...
If you have the answers,
why keep silent?
i can never know,
nor understand why...



Learning so much more about questions and answers these days.
How some answers are in our hands but we fail to steward them well...it dies slowly in our hands if we do not wield it well...

This week...we ran a movie...a movie about a relationship between Father and daughter, it was a 7 min short film, followed by an hour long discussion and a testimony.

It was a fabulous time with friends, and friends of friends...
Talking about issues, asking questions, answering and sharing our hearts
In there people heard about God, saw the same imperfections we all have,
and how there IS an Answer...and the Answer is a PERSON,
the man Jesus, who died on that Cross for us...

How many of us have that Answer in our hands? plenty...
How many of us are gladly sharing it? ...i dunno, but i wish i saw more of it.

Thank you Lord for your Answer, the perfect Answer.
Teach us how to steward it well, and to be sensitive to your leading in all situations! I thank you for the wonderful time last night with friends, invited guests, people who just walked in because of the publicity! Thank you for these people whom you have prepared, may they have a sense of what it means to have a real and living relationship in You.

For those who still have unanswered questions, may you spur them to constantly seek until they find the Answer, in you...Amen.

Car Crash Randoms...

Ever been in a car going real fast and the driver gets a cramp in his toe? =) Man...some things test your trust like no other! And some things test your pain tolerance like NO OTHER! =)

Another car crash random...and possibly the worst dream ever!
Imagine...you're driving, and the car you're in crashes, you get flung over the dashboard, crash through the windscreen, land on the road...just when you thought the worst was over...you get run over...man...what a lousy day!

Hmmm...why am i telling stories about random events? Well...i think, so many times, we go through a day and our emotions run through the gamut of highs and lows.

Like the fast car, our lives can be going smoothly and everything fine, but then a shockingly unexpected event (Toe CRAMP!) happens, and it shocks and tests us! Reacting badly would probably cause us to crash, causing some major accident, but bearing it and clinging on to the wheel tightly, probably saves us and the people around us!

Moral of the story: Grin and bear it when unexpected toe cramps happen!

The 2nd random story...
Car crashes are like disasters, just when you think the worst is over, something else crops up...it's not just an accident, you could be flung out, run over, suffer whiplash, any other weird combination of unpleasant events. All of them totally out of control.

Doesn't life feel like that sometimes?

"I don't deserve this..."
"Why?"
"What is happening?"
"Why this...why now?"
"How can this happen?"
"AAAARGH!"

For me...i just let go, surrender, and let God take over.
Christ is my Righteousness, the Rock on which i stand,
the one who is my Advocate, He will never leave me nor forsake me!

What is your response?

My com crashed...and so did this blog!

Haha! Series of unfortunate events!

Been without the use of my laptop for almost a month and that led to my blog also going offline! Hmmm...wonder what is next! =P