Joy!....and tears...

My heart is brimming over with such Joy! This is so wonderful, so amazing! The reason why i love doing what i'm doing! =) Today at youth Alpha, we had 15-20 people choosing to receive Christ! And 1 came from my group! Woo! And yet again...i'm awed to just be a little clog in this, playing my little part and taking such satisfaction in it! =)

and then some other news struck me and whoa...reality hits home...and it hits hardest on the things closest to our hearts...

i just saw the news...and the latest news is that 28 people are dead from a tsunami in the pacific ocean that hit the Solomon Islands.

*ouch...*

It is truly amazing what happened today, 15-20 people choosing Christ and entering the Kingdom, yet...how many of those 28 didn't? I can only imagine what God feels...on the one hand rejoicing at every lost sheep that is found again, and yet...heartbroken at those who lose their way and never get found again...ever...

I remember this quote from my Christmas present (thanks buddy)...

"In heaven..There is one thing we can NEVER do...we cannot share the gospel"

~Dave Davidson~

Today, i caught a glimpse of this stark reality...people are entering the kingdom, yet others are being lost to it...forever...i know i'm not called to be superman, and there is only one Saviour, but yeah...i see very clearly that this is my season to step forth, to walk boldly, to tread the road, to walk the talk, to live out this faith that i've professed for so long!

"C.S. Lewis said that we have the tendency to think, but not to act
and to feel, but not to act.
If we go on feeling and thinking, but not acting,
then one day we will be unable to act."
~George Verwer~

It's time for me to act, and yes, i've taken those steps of Faith already! No turning back! This is going to be a great adventure and i'm looking forward to it. And yeah...i realise the reality of it all. As i heed the call, it might mean leaving everything that i've taken comfort from so far...but yeah, can i stomach disobedience to the call? No way! I'm taking God at His Word! =)

I know that obedience to the call is so much more compelling and it truly is on my heart!

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music he hears
however measured and far away."
~Henry David Thoreau~

I hear the sound of a heavenly drum, and as i step to it, it means breaking with the familiar, sacrificing the good, choosing the best, staying close to the Lord and being obedient all the way.

Like Ginny Owens put it, "...He never said it would be easy, He just said, i'll never go alone"

And yeah...in the end, God's word is the ultimate, He speaks truth that is irrefutable!

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

Whom God Chooses

Whom God Chooses

When God wants to drill a man,
and thrill a man, and skill a man,
When God wants to mold a man,
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man,
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch his methods; watch His ways.
How He ruthlessly perfects
When He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay
Which only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying,
And He lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When His good He undertakes.
How He uses whom he chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him;
But every act induces him
To try His splendor out --
God knows what He's about!

Go then, earthly fame and treasure!
Come disaster, scorn, and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure;
With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, Abba, Father;
I have stayed my heart on Thee.
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Henry F. Lyte

What's on my heart...

May the words of my mouth-Tim Hughes

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

I will follow
I will follow
I will follow You

The quiet ones...

Kind hearts are quietly kind,
they allow cars into their lane instead of cutting them off,

give up their seats on the bus, or even...choose not to sit because others need it more,

the compassionate are quietly compassionate,

sowing love, showing care, praying hard, warring when no one is watching,

they recognise the battle, and war by their unseen acts of love

the humble are quietly strong,

no need to blow their trumpet, no need to get the fame,

doing their work, and building stronger roots daily

Paul planted, Apollos watered...but God is the one who causes the increase

Sometimes, we say...judge a person by his fruits...

But yeah...if God is the one causing the growth, then how?

I think the better measure is being Faithful in the task entrusted to us.

Build for eternity, set your sights high above, love wholeheartedly!

The heavenly exchange!

Just thought i would challenge myself again...see a good one-liner, and try to expand on it and see what thoughts flow, so yups...let see! =)

The heavenly exchange- what kind of transaction is this, that trades my rags for eternal riches? Pain (healed), sorrow (replaced with Joy!), burden (lifted), guilt (replaced with faith)!

The ability to call on my Abba Father, see the sacrifice of Jesus,
"It's so easy to call you Saviour, close enough to call you friend!"

I cannot fathom the nature of this exchange, God trading His only Son to die on the cross for my sins, in ADVANCE, before i was even made! It just boggles my mind!

Reminds of this quote i saw,

"Wanted before you were conceived,

Loved before you took your first breath"

~Soul Cravings~

For all those who have hurt or been hurt before (and that's everyone i figure...),

Do you feel that something has been ripped away? Stolen, left empty, broken?

Or does guilt, emptiness, fear, worry, the desire to run away, the pain of facing the same thoughts, facing the ugliness of self, the desire to "repair" the damage,

do these things plague you?

God's Heavenly Exchange is the one woven throughout the bible...

He says with a tender smile; and nail-pierced hands;

"I died to forgive your sins"

"I don't condemn you"

"you are washed white as snow"

"Because...I Love you"

And...in His firm Fatherly discipline;
"Now GO! And sin no more"

He has returned (and given more!) what others...had stolen away.

Only Jesus could do such a thing! =)

Grace and Mercy, Meekness and Majesty

John 3:16

Free!

"The freest person in the world is the one with an open heart,
a broken spirit, and a new direction in which to travel."

Yeah! The road ahead is wide open and amazingly exciting! =) It has been a very fruitful season of seeking the Lord, and now, with my compass set to true North, i'm following the roadmap that the Lord has prepared for me! It's exhilarating, it's such a sense of freedom, marked with a tinge of pain, and yet, the journey ahead is clearly marked out and with my focus is set!

Casting aside everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, i press on towards the goal...God is sovereign and i know He has a marvelous plan for my life ahead! I see the dangers, i sense the overwhelming bigness of everything, but yet, i KNOW that precisely because of the mammoth task ahead, God must be the one orchestrating it and since it's all in His hands, i've nothing to fear! Just press on! =)

I have been so blind for so long, how could i fail to see that by trying to manage everything i was actually holding back and not daring to risk anything? Now...the paradox is that, though people may see and think that i'm making a mistake or 'risking' everything, they do not understand that this is the way life is meant to be lived! An adventure, a life of faith, an endeavour of excellence, a life lived in the service of the King, that counts the poor and the downtrodden as valuable, that looks with eyes of compassion on scoffers and mockers. What richer life can there be than to spread the love of Christ, and see it warm a cold heart, break open a man of stone! There's no greater reward than to see the love of Christ reflected back to you in the eyes of someone who was stuck in the pit that they were in.

A life of poverty is one spent on our own leisurely pursuits, because the selfishness that is in our core then rises to the fore. I determine not to be one of those feeble souls who do nothing at the wayside. I desire to open my heart so that i may be used wherever and whenever, whatever high or lowly position, whatever status rich or poor, wherever He leads, i'll go. (Isa 6:8)

Prayer Engage belated entry...

Was looking through some photos and glimpsed on this picture that spoke to me once again...This was from my management project with Campus Crusade Engine Region, done late Jan'07...

It was Day one, and we were focussed on Purity. The prayer stimuli that we did (Yes, they were hand made!) was a black heart that could stand! I staged this shot, placing the heart there, symbolising the surrender of our blackened, wounded, sickened hearts to God, whose hands are BIG enough!

The caption that is on the "hands" poster is this...

"Prayer is not asking.

Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at his disposition,

and listening to His voice in the depths of our hearts."

The 10 days of Prayer Engage! were pretty wonderful ones for me, and yeah...like the focus of the Engage says, "To build a movement of people intent on knowing God through prayer!"

I wanna see that movement of people knowing God intimately!

On The Cutting Edge

Some people talk about being on the cutting edge;

some actually live there.

Fewer choose to dwell on the bleeding edge of humanity,

where nothing is humanly certain except great need,

where risk defies other definitions,

where light shines the brighter for the enveloping darkness.

The perseverance of Faith!

Hey buddy,

(and oh...i only call 1 person buddy, so yeah...that's you!),

this is for you! =)

"Faith is the art of holding on

to things your reason has once accepted,

in spite of your changing moods."

~C.S. Lewis~

Yeah! Get what i mean? ;P

Mighty weapon!

“A willing man (or woman) is a mighty weapon in the hand of an awesome God!”

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.

AMEN! =) Sweet!

Broken for His Glory!

There has only been 1 perfect man EVER!
His name is Jesus.

God always uses imperfect men.

The bible is a story of THAT perfect man

told using the stories of imperfect, broken people.

I feel so at home...

I fit right in...

Broken, yet able to be used still...
Such a privilege! =)

Another awesome time...

11 PRC!

Praise the Lord!

Thank you for your Grace so free!

You love us so much...

This is how awesome! =)

Streams in the desert

"There are songs which can only be learned in the valley.
No art can teach them; no rules of voice can make them perfectly sung.

Their music is in the heart. They are songs of memory, of personal experience.

They bring out their burden from the shadow of the past;

they mount on the wings of yesterday...

The Father is training thee for the part the angels cannot sing;

and the school is sorrow.

I have heard many say that He sends sorrow to prove thee;

may He send sorrow to educate thee,

to train thee for the choir invisible."
Streams in the Desert ~George Matheson~

Emerging from the valley, seeing the Light,
Held by my Saviour, safe by His side.

No place i'd rather be,
nothing else i'd wanna be...

Just there with my Jesus,

Loving it! All the way! =)

Your choice!

In life, we make many choices, and so many times we fail to see that refusing to make a choice, or choosing to procrastinate, is also a choice made, a decision that has consequences.

Your choice...choose wisely

"Stand for something?

or fall for anything?"

I've made my choice, i'm going to stand for Him, EVERYTIME. So, God grant me that courage.

I trust in your strength because i know how weak and frail i am...

"...the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits"

Dan 11:32b (NKJV)

Forgiveness...

Forgiveness...never thought that i would write on this.

The first time i remember needing to forgive, really forgive, it was the most unlikely person...myself. Shortly after accepting Christ in Dec 1996, i realised that i had to break out of the cycle of self-defeat that i was in, and i knew that one of the main obstacles was myself. Why? Because i felt so awful at my past, i disliked the person i was, yet i wanted to hold on to my rebellious streak, and i did not want to be a stodgy christian! And the more God revealed how He wanted ALL of me, the more struggle i had in surrendering and forgiving myself. Yet, each time i was able to forgive myself and trust God to wipe those stains away, Joy unspeakable would spring forth in me, and they would change my tears into smiles...it's amazing how God heals!

That journey of 10 years has brought me up to this point, totally changed, totally different from the person i remember then. But the journey of forgiveness has taken on new meaning also...

In the past year, i've had to learn to actively make the choice of forgiveness over retaliation, bitterness, anger. Never has the testing been so severe, so intense, so painful.

I know that i have a right to be angry, to be bitter, to lash out, yet in my heart...no matter how much it is bleeding, i know that some battles are not mine to begin with. My road is the road of obedience to the King, and being moulded by Him. He will be the righteous Judge, my comfort, my shield, my strong deliverer. His living and active word will be constantly be my answer...

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 The Message

The same message keeps resounding in songs this season...

"everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me
everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a saviour, the hope of nations...""

"so take me as you find me, all my fears and failure, fill my life again,
I give my life to follow, everything i believe in, now i surrender..."

"Oh Lord, you've searched me, you know my way,
even when i've failed you, i know you love me..."

"Yr holy presence surrounding me, in every season, i know you love me..."

"A thousand times i've failed, still your mercy remains...
Should i stumble, still...i'm caught in your grace..."

"In the secret of your presence, i know...there...i am restored"

"In the chaos and confusion, i know, you're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness, you give me grace to do your will..."

After all the that the Lord has done for me, forgiven me for, and set me free from...any sacrifice i can lay down pales in comparison to His. He is the one who FORGIVES, and out of His forgiveness, we're always learning to forgive like Him too. I wish i could be better at this sometimes, but forgiveness isn't easy, that's why a Saviour, my Lord Jesus, had to show us how to do it.

God specialises in God-sized tasks and i have to praise Him for this, even though it has been a storm of epic proportions, i know who my God is, and like in Daniel...it says..."the people who know their God will be strong and do great exploits." So i determine, in any circumstance, any thing that happens, i will know God more in that situation, i will seek Him out, He will be my focus instead of how i feel or what i see...

In Christ i have been forgiven, in the process, i've learnt how to forgive myself, and now...i'm on the road and learning how to forgive as Christ forgave me. Long journey, and painful one...but i gladly surrender my SELF into your hands, Lord Jesus, there is no better place to be!

I forgive...do you choose to be forgiven?

the heartache of God...

Does your heart ache when you see someone hurting and in pain?

Do you feel compassion for the hungry, the lost, those who are searching for more?

Or are you just striving, wanting to attain more, running to fun just to ease the pain?

It hurts me to see people live in compromise, splitting their time and talents trying to please everyone else, and in the end, failing to, thereby offending everyone.

When will we learn that there is only one unchangable in this world?

and NO! it is not Change.

It is Jesus' Love.

That Love that offers us Grace,
His unmerited favour.

Mercy,
Shown when He paid the penalty on that cross,

and displayed everyday that we wilfully turn away...

You're either living for God or you're living for yourself,

Don't lie to yourself, examine your life and see which is it.

When God does business with people,

all you can do is hang on, and try to keep up!

Do not compromise on the things that God places in your hands

Too many of us allow doubt to creep in, to dissuade us from doing what we can.

Soon we blame others, conditions, or our circumstances. Eventually, we blame God.

Focus on a BIG God who can do it!
He has won the Victory for us so we need never be afraid!

If we learn to walk in the victory that He has won,

we can take the battle to the gates of Hell.

We can turn the tide of the battle,

turning the heartache of God into His Rejoicing!

Not by our own strength,

But by leaning on the power of the Holy Spirit.

Misunderstood?

Sometimes, i wonder...why do people love to say they are misunderstood?

But then, reality has hit, and yes, it's so easy to be misunderstood...i see so many misunderstandings that have happened in the past, other people's past and my own past...and the sad thing is that they could have been cleared up by clear communication!

So many times, we just presume, assume or just paint our own scenarios, but isn't it better and more direct to just approach the issue/person and work it through? Why keep going in circles or running away? I seriously do not understand the running away thing...why why why...? If you dun wanna be misunderstood, perhaps the best thing to do is to go and clarify things instead of running? Doesn't that sound logical and feel less burdensome? =)

Well...i'm stating it clearly here, i'm a person who is transparent and honest, i'll much prefer direct and honest communication, i simply love spending time with people so yes, i'll make time for conversations...you must know how important you are to me.

So yes, this is an open call, any misunderstandings you have? you know that i'm here to listen...

MAN! do i sound angsty or what? =) hahaaha! Anyways...this is just a belated rant, and not directed at anyone, but yes, been hearing too much of this misunderstood thing, so yups...youth, friends, people i love, yeah...let's not bear grudges or avoid ppl because of misunderstandings, much better to clear things up! Dun allow discord to creep into your relationships yah?

Anyways...i thank God that this has been a season of prayer, and growing in intimacy. Truly He has been guiding me clearly even in just choosing a place to eat or which path to walk in Holland V! Simple things, but all God-moments when in tune and listening to Him!

Lord, this year, as it begins...i pray for all i love, that you shine your light through us, and bless each person we meet. May each of us determine to set our paths according to the plan you have for us, may you teach us to forsake the things that wound your heart, and turn to the things that are pleasing in your sight. I pray for strength for the journey, healing after the wounds, perseverance during trials, your magnificence over our mediocrity, show us your glory and how your Love truly is a Love that never fails us and never leaves us. Turn our attention to you and how we can nurture this relationship more, so that we Love you more and keep growing this Love that we have. Amen!

Authority from my ransomed Saviour...

Was talking to a dear friend today and it just popped out so evidently to me that true authority and leadership are never by virtue of having a position, rank, or seniority. Anyone basing their identity on that, is bound to be small-minded and oppressive.

The only way to fashion true spiritual authority is through trusting and enduring the flames of the crucible and the hammer blows of the master blacksmith. This has been the hardest, toughest, most painful, literally heart-breaking season of my life...and yet, i see how by enduring through the confusion and releasing my desires back to God, He has been entrusting me with His heart for people more and more...this is something i could never experience fully in the past because i was holding back, because i loved in only one dimension...

But...the talk today (though totally unrelated to this post!) was illuminating! (I kinda make funny connections all the time and they make sense to me, but i still have to form them into coherent thoughts for the sake of others! so they understand me! ahahah!)

Oh well, i may have to think to form the thoughts into words, but God has this way of always speaking very clearly! =)

Samuel Brengle said this about Spiritual Authority and Leadership,

"It is not won by promotion, but by many prayers and tears. It is attained by confession of sin, and much heartsearching and humbling before God; by self-surrender, a courageous sacrifice of every idol, a bold uncomplaining embrace of the cross, and by an eternal, unfaltering looking unto Jesus crucified.

It is not gained by seeking great things for ourselves, but like Paul, by counting those things that are gain to us as loss for Christ. This is a great price, but it must be paid by the leader who would not be merely a nominal but a real spiritual leader of men, a leader whose power is recognised in heaven, on earth and in hell."

If that is what it takes...i thank you Lord for trusting me enough to put me through this furnace.

Yup...experienced so many of the things mentioned above, had to surrender til i became less than nothing, but counting those things that are gain to me as loss...this has led me to glimpse so much more of the Lord that i didn't know before. And i'm thankful to God, despite the pain. just like the Casting Crowns song...I'll praise Him in this storm...and i truly have and will continue to do so, because i know my Father loves me and will never bring harm to me.

Sometimes, even what we see as the best things in our lives become our chains, chains that bind us down and hold us back from where we should be. But that's why God gave his son, Jesus Christ, who paid the ransom, broke those chains, secured our hope, became our shield and our portion...so we trust in just one thing, and once our focus changes and shifts back to Him, then...maybe then, He begins to answer those questions we've always been asking, or maybe...those questions lose their importance...and HE continues to make all things beautiful.

There is such a paradox, that even in suffering, we can have joy! Even in hurt, there can be such concern! Even in pain, there can be unselfish love! How unfathomable are God's ways! How wonderful! No wonder He is the Saviour! =)

Christ is either Lord of all, or He is not Lord at all.

Christ is either Lord of all, or He is not Lord at all.

God certainly took me seriously, so seriously that He sent His son Jesus Christ to die for me, so that i can stand before Him sinless and righteous, because of the cleansing blood shed on the cross.

Sometimes i wonder...do i take him seriously? or seriously enough? if God could send His son for me, why do i whine or long for things that really...are miniscule trifles when compared to knowing Him!

It is rather easy to stay in our cliques, go splash money, enjoy holidays, delight in our gifts, avoid responsibility, enjoy the praise of people, take photographs, listen to what we want to, go where we want to because we can...but at the root of it all...if we really look hard at it, examine our motives, isn't the root of it abit narcissistic, selfish, self-centered? at least most of the time?

Martin Luther said...

"No one understands scripture

unless it is brought home to him,

that is,

unless he experiences it."

I thank you Lord, that through this whole process of refining, i can see it better and understand your word, and your heartbeat a little more...

Lord Jesus, i have just a simple prayer this early morning, be...Lord of all.

Interim post!

haha! Been a long while since i posted! been busy with camps and i dunno when i can properly do an updated post! but yes, i thank and praise the Lord!

Youthphoria Encounter camp was great! Underground church did us a huge favour! Praise the Lord! We learnt so so much more about Worship in all aspects!

Crusade Meta camp - Fantastic! Main thanksgiving? the 64 who accepted Christ! Wow! God is how amazing! =)

not gonna do a long update, but yups...praise the Lord for all these, and i'm gonna end with a quote that so tickled me with it's humour and truth!

"God grant me the serenity to accept people who drive me crazy;

the courage to up and get going,

and the wisdom to know you love the bananas out of me even when i screw things up."

~Hugh Myrrh~

yea...How you love us feeble creatures! what a BIG God we serve! =)