What a season!

Bruce Springsteen said,
"A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be."

The quote is attributed to Bruce Springsteen, but i think God is wiser, He knew us so well and He knew we would always be plodding along in this journey trying to rely on our own strength, so His encouragement has always been persevere, keep on doing good, never give up, Hope in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding! I am the Vine, you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, but apart from me, you can do NOTHING!

"Everyone is looking for a quick fix, but what they really need is fitness. People who look for fixes stop doing what's right when pressure is relieved. People who pursue fitness do what they should no matter what the circumstances are." Kevin Meyers

Yups...i don't want quick fixes, i wanna learn, persevere, press on always, sit humbly and wait on the Lord, listening intently, trusting always, cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! Like in a garden, the fruits take time to develop, and even in the seemingly "barren" seasons, God is working and the roots are taking in nutrients to nourish and grow the fruit!

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand
When you don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand...
trust His heart.

Yeah! I trust His heart! Always have, always will! It has been a wonderfully fruitful month and a half away, and it was an amazingly blessed time especially the past week in Korea, doing things i love with the Lord i love, and people who have given everything to be there, and it was not only a great time learning, serving, and being inspired! But also, spending quality time with quality people, something that really blessed me! =) The Lord is really amazing in the ways that He plans things! I stand in awe at His wondrous Love! And what a journey of Faith this is! =) WOO!

I'm back!

Yes, i'm home! =)

Flying off again on the 29th til the 9th tho! will update when i can!

Off for a month...=)

Pray as the team goes forward!

May we achieve each and every milestone prepared by the Lord for us! =)

Thank you for your partnership in Prayer! =)

Why? Why? Why?

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

Indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Who knows what i'm going through? No one...no one but you Lord.
And though my heart is torn, i'll praise you in this storm...

Praise you in this storm - Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

This brokenness, senselessness, darkness, pain, unanswered questions, weariness...Every tear i've ever cried, you hold in your hands, you never left my side, though my heart is torn, you heard my cry to you and raised me up again, my strength is almost gone, how can i carry on if i can't find you?

I lift my eyes to you Lord...I will praise you in this storm. I CHOOSE to Praise you, I CHOOSE to be thankful, the troubles i have are "light and momentary" as compared to your eternal Glory! Thank you Lord, truly...i thank you...in faith, i believe, and i thank you...

Been awhile...

It's been such a long while since my last post!
Guess it's the busyness that comes with preparing for graduation, helping with the video, juggling work, time with people who need it, doing my newsletter, sending it out and meeting people, preparing the trip admin details, many long meetings to hammer out the program and all, on top of planning for the year ahead and doing transitioning...gosh...busy busy!

But also, in the season of extreme busyness, i'm learning to discipline myself more on the TRULY important stuff. Somedays, i just can't do it...i just feel like taking a rest day and crashing into bed, but yeah...God is always good and faithful! Just have to pray a little more and remember that i have a strength that is beyond mine! Pace myself well, so i dun burn out and return early to rest and recharge!

I read this today in my morning devotion...and it just made me smile! =)

"THE LONGING of the soul for God only makes itself felt when all lesser delights and earthly joys are relegated to their right place."

I think that inner longing is always there, but sometimes it is brushed over in the busyness, or forgotten by neglect. And yeah, God is jealous of us that way, desiring for us as a bridegroom for the bride! Competing passions are actually setting themselves up against the Rock of Ages, so yes...we have to learn the lesson of submission and setting the Right thing in the Right Place daily, the more willingly we do that, the better for us.

Sometimes, we get blind to what is truly our focus and when we have to be re-directed, there are grace-filled ways of the Lord, and there are also grace-filled, yet painful surrenders of the things we have clung onto too tightly. When we're forced to surrender, it's mainly cuz we have held on to something too tightly, of our own volition.

So yeah...may the longing for my Lord, constantly be my number 1 passion!

I think I'm a funny person!
In a world that is so visual, so upfront, and out for promoting self, i much prefer taking the backseat, doing the background, or groundwork matters that make something tick, and those are not the most glamourous jobs! yeah...prefer to leave that to those who relish the limelight! I'll much rather be a man of substance, a person of character, far above "looking good" to man, or standing in the place of limelight. I've always done the little things, and yes, some appreciate them, and others overlook them, i used to get rather wistful at that sometimes! Then i realised that if i did feel terrible when i'm unappreciated, it's probably cuz i'm actually longing for the praises of man! So deceitful is the heart of man! I'm glad God in His grace allowed me to see and realise that...it matters little now, cuz yeah...i'm really NOT doing it for man, i've realigned, it's now my own act of stewardship, my service to the Lord! And yes, when i recognise that i'm feeling wistful, i now know why, and that helps me deal with it much better! =)

Yeah...last year, was really a watershed year for me, many things have changed, and i've learnt more and more about myself, and yeah, examining motives more than actions, wanna continue in that vein and be refined under the Master's hand!

That best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.
-- William Wordsworth --

May i always give the best portions of what i have! =)

What are your standards?

Before a man can do things there must be things he WILL NOT do.
~Mencius~

What will you not do? Where are your OB (Out-of-bounds) markers? I like this term...i learnt it in my journalism class, and it has always struck me as a wise statement! =)

In the local journalistic reporting context, when OB markers are mentioned, it seems to convey a negative vibe, an area best left unventured, an area that we should practice self-censorship.

But instinctively, i sense that in everything, we must have a certain standard, certain rules we live by, some things that we do not compromise, something that we will NOT do! Imagine playing a game WITHOUT rules, yeah...we played one such game before (at least, we thought it had no rules!) and in the manual (notice i didn't say rulebook! hahaha!) It ended with this line "...Any other disputes should be settled by loud arguments among the players, with the owner of the game having the last word."

Ahahah! =) So...we see, at the end of the day, even in conflict resolution, there was a need to set a certain standard, a person with the last say.

Similarly in life, even if we refuse to acknowledge it, we all have taken on a certain set of rules which help us govern our actions. And actually, one of the best gauges of our standards is to ask...What is it you WILL NOT do?

It's easy to make statements like "I'll try anything once", "I'm game for it"...we live and are shaped by peer pressure, "One-up-manship" (always trying to be better then someone else), we always seem to appeal to people's sense of fun, daring them to do all sorts of things.

Yet...how many people challenge us in the things that are really important? Helping us set standards so that we know exactly what we will and will NOT do! I've been reading biographies again, and i've seen a certain pattern...the best sports coaches, they may not have been the best players of the game, but they were certainly masters of the RULES of the game! The better they knew the rules, the better they could play the game! In soccer, a keen knowledge of the rules is needed to know how to use the offside rule, especially now with the rule that if a player is not involved in play, he's considered "inactive"!

Hmmm...there are so many parallels that can be drawn, but yes...living outside of boundaries, living in rebellion to the laws, being unconscious of our standards...these things will cause us to stumble and fall when the times of testing come.

We have an unchangeable, immovable, divine and eternal standard in Christ, so let's be clear on what the Living Word says so that we hold to the RIGHT standards!

The Way

But to deviate from the truth
for the sake of some prospect of hope of our own
can never be wise,
however slight that deviation may be.

It is not our judgement of the situation which can show us what is wise,
but only the truth of the word of God.

Here alone lies the promise of God's faithfulness and help.
It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple
is always to abide solely by the Word of God in all simplicity.
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer~

Does God ever oversleep? If He doesn't, then why do we hurry, engage in such hustle and bustle, why do we rush about so quickly we hardly slow down to listen for His still, small voice? Don't we believe that God has His eyes and His hands on things? Why do we act like He IS sleeping?

Does our life ever seem like a maze? A crazy series of twists and turns, seemingly without rhyme or reason...are we...in reality...lost, floundering and just making the best of a bad situation? Trying to make the best decisions we can? Where is God in this?

His answer?

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life!

While our nature demands that we see the road ahead, or that we're given a set of directions to reach there, we often fail to see that we hold the answers in our hands...but we lack the understanding to apply it.

I am the Way...- God is saying He is the roadmap, He is the direction giver, or...more correctly, He is the direction! We ask for a roadmap, a compass or the road, Jesus says, cling on to me, I'll provide all of those because I am the Way, you just have to cling on to me! Can we accept such a simple yet utterly faith-dependent answer?

The questions post...

To do God’s work is to do what is right when no one is looking …
and doing what is right when everyone else is compromising.
- Charles Swindoll

We're living in such uncertain times, a time when standards seem to have decayed beyond repair, where broken families, fractured friendships, strained relationships, all lay down amidst the carnage of a life lived for the momentary pleasure, the temporary gain, the instant gratification of our wayward desires.

We hide the ugly reality of our lives with a thinly veiled veneer that hides the parts that are crumbling just beneath that fragile facade. Where are our moral foundations? Why do they crumble so much, and SOooooOo easily?

Is it easier to cover over our imperfections? Hide them? Like applying putty to mend a crack? Foundation to hide facial flaws? Is it cuz we're asian that it is easier to leave things unsaid? Pretending to sweep things under the rug, when they are actually still there, just bubbling under the surface?

Being in the people business, i've always wondered if i will ever grow cynical to the point where i treat everyone with suspicion...i think that would be a very sad day. I've constantly relied on the Lord to keep me tender, to Love with His Agape, to be unconditional in Love, and it's a constantly humbling journey, one that is also frequently painful. It is true that hurting people hurt people, i've seen that happen time after time, and i've felt those stings of undeserved assaults, and yet, i cannot give up, it's not in my nature, cuz i believe God will never let go!

I know why it is easier to hold on to a mask, to keep up a masquerade, put on a facade...the simple reason is that it helps us cope with the pain, we can hide our hurt, cover the flaws, try to mend the scars. To show people our innermost being is to be vulnerable, it means being comfortable in who we are, it means, revelling in however imperfect we may be. It means that we glory in our weakness! And it is exactly how the Lord wants us...open, honest, vulnerable, being ourselves, showing our weaknesses, pain, hurt, ugly, unlovable natures, because only in realising how wretched, how inadequate we are by ourselves, can we reach the end of our rope, and then...the only answer that will satisfy at that moment would be....Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour.

Who are you when no one is watching?
Do you do the right thing when everyone is compromising?
Whose standards do you keep? Yours or the Lord's?

In line with the whole theme...i'm not perfect, i struggle to keep doing the right thing, but i'm trying. I'm learning from Daniel 1, he knew God's standards, and he saw where it would challenged. To others, food may be "a small matter" YET Daniel DID NOT compromise!

Daniel knew the black, and he knew the white, and that knowledge helped him navigate the grey areas in life!

Do you know biblical standards?
Do you know how to apply biblical standards to daily living?

Dearest Lord Jesus, you know the hearts of your people far better than we think we know ourselves. I pray that you will plumb our depths and fill us with your Love, your desires, your immovable standards, may our lives be anchored on the solid Rock that doesn't move, so that when things around us shake, we may see as you see and be your Light of Love in those moments. In Jesus Name, Amen!

WARNING! Gross post!

You know that you're REALLY sick when you try to throw up...
and all that comes out is

PHLEGM....

ahahaha! Sorry if i grossed anyone out! What a nonsensical post! =)

Easter! =)

HE IS RISEN INDEED!

WOOHOO! =)

The significance of Good Friday to me...

Joy!....and tears...

My heart is brimming over with such Joy! This is so wonderful, so amazing! The reason why i love doing what i'm doing! =) Today at youth Alpha, we had 15-20 people choosing to receive Christ! And 1 came from my group! Woo! And yet again...i'm awed to just be a little clog in this, playing my little part and taking such satisfaction in it! =)

and then some other news struck me and whoa...reality hits home...and it hits hardest on the things closest to our hearts...

i just saw the news...and the latest news is that 28 people are dead from a tsunami in the pacific ocean that hit the Solomon Islands.

*ouch...*

It is truly amazing what happened today, 15-20 people choosing Christ and entering the Kingdom, yet...how many of those 28 didn't? I can only imagine what God feels...on the one hand rejoicing at every lost sheep that is found again, and yet...heartbroken at those who lose their way and never get found again...ever...

I remember this quote from my Christmas present (thanks buddy)...

"In heaven..There is one thing we can NEVER do...we cannot share the gospel"

~Dave Davidson~

Today, i caught a glimpse of this stark reality...people are entering the kingdom, yet others are being lost to it...forever...i know i'm not called to be superman, and there is only one Saviour, but yeah...i see very clearly that this is my season to step forth, to walk boldly, to tread the road, to walk the talk, to live out this faith that i've professed for so long!

"C.S. Lewis said that we have the tendency to think, but not to act
and to feel, but not to act.
If we go on feeling and thinking, but not acting,
then one day we will be unable to act."
~George Verwer~

It's time for me to act, and yes, i've taken those steps of Faith already! No turning back! This is going to be a great adventure and i'm looking forward to it. And yeah...i realise the reality of it all. As i heed the call, it might mean leaving everything that i've taken comfort from so far...but yeah, can i stomach disobedience to the call? No way! I'm taking God at His Word! =)

I know that obedience to the call is so much more compelling and it truly is on my heart!

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music he hears
however measured and far away."
~Henry David Thoreau~

I hear the sound of a heavenly drum, and as i step to it, it means breaking with the familiar, sacrificing the good, choosing the best, staying close to the Lord and being obedient all the way.

Like Ginny Owens put it, "...He never said it would be easy, He just said, i'll never go alone"

And yeah...in the end, God's word is the ultimate, He speaks truth that is irrefutable!

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

Whom God Chooses

Whom God Chooses

When God wants to drill a man,
and thrill a man, and skill a man,
When God wants to mold a man,
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man,
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch his methods; watch His ways.
How He ruthlessly perfects
When He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay
Which only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying,
And He lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When His good He undertakes.
How He uses whom he chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him;
But every act induces him
To try His splendor out --
God knows what He's about!

Go then, earthly fame and treasure!
Come disaster, scorn, and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure;
With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, Abba, Father;
I have stayed my heart on Thee.
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Henry F. Lyte

What's on my heart...

May the words of my mouth-Tim Hughes

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

I will follow
I will follow
I will follow You

The quiet ones...

Kind hearts are quietly kind,
they allow cars into their lane instead of cutting them off,

give up their seats on the bus, or even...choose not to sit because others need it more,

the compassionate are quietly compassionate,

sowing love, showing care, praying hard, warring when no one is watching,

they recognise the battle, and war by their unseen acts of love

the humble are quietly strong,

no need to blow their trumpet, no need to get the fame,

doing their work, and building stronger roots daily

Paul planted, Apollos watered...but God is the one who causes the increase

Sometimes, we say...judge a person by his fruits...

But yeah...if God is the one causing the growth, then how?

I think the better measure is being Faithful in the task entrusted to us.

Build for eternity, set your sights high above, love wholeheartedly!

The heavenly exchange!

Just thought i would challenge myself again...see a good one-liner, and try to expand on it and see what thoughts flow, so yups...let see! =)

The heavenly exchange- what kind of transaction is this, that trades my rags for eternal riches? Pain (healed), sorrow (replaced with Joy!), burden (lifted), guilt (replaced with faith)!

The ability to call on my Abba Father, see the sacrifice of Jesus,
"It's so easy to call you Saviour, close enough to call you friend!"

I cannot fathom the nature of this exchange, God trading His only Son to die on the cross for my sins, in ADVANCE, before i was even made! It just boggles my mind!

Reminds of this quote i saw,

"Wanted before you were conceived,

Loved before you took your first breath"

~Soul Cravings~

For all those who have hurt or been hurt before (and that's everyone i figure...),

Do you feel that something has been ripped away? Stolen, left empty, broken?

Or does guilt, emptiness, fear, worry, the desire to run away, the pain of facing the same thoughts, facing the ugliness of self, the desire to "repair" the damage,

do these things plague you?

God's Heavenly Exchange is the one woven throughout the bible...

He says with a tender smile; and nail-pierced hands;

"I died to forgive your sins"

"I don't condemn you"

"you are washed white as snow"

"Because...I Love you"

And...in His firm Fatherly discipline;
"Now GO! And sin no more"

He has returned (and given more!) what others...had stolen away.

Only Jesus could do such a thing! =)

Grace and Mercy, Meekness and Majesty

John 3:16

Free!

"The freest person in the world is the one with an open heart,
a broken spirit, and a new direction in which to travel."

Yeah! The road ahead is wide open and amazingly exciting! =) It has been a very fruitful season of seeking the Lord, and now, with my compass set to true North, i'm following the roadmap that the Lord has prepared for me! It's exhilarating, it's such a sense of freedom, marked with a tinge of pain, and yet, the journey ahead is clearly marked out and with my focus is set!

Casting aside everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, i press on towards the goal...God is sovereign and i know He has a marvelous plan for my life ahead! I see the dangers, i sense the overwhelming bigness of everything, but yet, i KNOW that precisely because of the mammoth task ahead, God must be the one orchestrating it and since it's all in His hands, i've nothing to fear! Just press on! =)

I have been so blind for so long, how could i fail to see that by trying to manage everything i was actually holding back and not daring to risk anything? Now...the paradox is that, though people may see and think that i'm making a mistake or 'risking' everything, they do not understand that this is the way life is meant to be lived! An adventure, a life of faith, an endeavour of excellence, a life lived in the service of the King, that counts the poor and the downtrodden as valuable, that looks with eyes of compassion on scoffers and mockers. What richer life can there be than to spread the love of Christ, and see it warm a cold heart, break open a man of stone! There's no greater reward than to see the love of Christ reflected back to you in the eyes of someone who was stuck in the pit that they were in.

A life of poverty is one spent on our own leisurely pursuits, because the selfishness that is in our core then rises to the fore. I determine not to be one of those feeble souls who do nothing at the wayside. I desire to open my heart so that i may be used wherever and whenever, whatever high or lowly position, whatever status rich or poor, wherever He leads, i'll go. (Isa 6:8)

Prayer Engage belated entry...

Was looking through some photos and glimpsed on this picture that spoke to me once again...This was from my management project with Campus Crusade Engine Region, done late Jan'07...

It was Day one, and we were focussed on Purity. The prayer stimuli that we did (Yes, they were hand made!) was a black heart that could stand! I staged this shot, placing the heart there, symbolising the surrender of our blackened, wounded, sickened hearts to God, whose hands are BIG enough!

The caption that is on the "hands" poster is this...

"Prayer is not asking.

Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at his disposition,

and listening to His voice in the depths of our hearts."

The 10 days of Prayer Engage! were pretty wonderful ones for me, and yeah...like the focus of the Engage says, "To build a movement of people intent on knowing God through prayer!"

I wanna see that movement of people knowing God intimately!

On The Cutting Edge

Some people talk about being on the cutting edge;

some actually live there.

Fewer choose to dwell on the bleeding edge of humanity,

where nothing is humanly certain except great need,

where risk defies other definitions,

where light shines the brighter for the enveloping darkness.

The perseverance of Faith!

Hey buddy,

(and oh...i only call 1 person buddy, so yeah...that's you!),

this is for you! =)

"Faith is the art of holding on

to things your reason has once accepted,

in spite of your changing moods."

~C.S. Lewis~

Yeah! Get what i mean? ;P

Mighty weapon!

“A willing man (or woman) is a mighty weapon in the hand of an awesome God!”

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.

AMEN! =) Sweet!

Broken for His Glory!

There has only been 1 perfect man EVER!
His name is Jesus.

God always uses imperfect men.

The bible is a story of THAT perfect man

told using the stories of imperfect, broken people.

I feel so at home...

I fit right in...

Broken, yet able to be used still...
Such a privilege! =)

Another awesome time...

11 PRC!

Praise the Lord!

Thank you for your Grace so free!

You love us so much...

This is how awesome! =)

Streams in the desert

"There are songs which can only be learned in the valley.
No art can teach them; no rules of voice can make them perfectly sung.

Their music is in the heart. They are songs of memory, of personal experience.

They bring out their burden from the shadow of the past;

they mount on the wings of yesterday...

The Father is training thee for the part the angels cannot sing;

and the school is sorrow.

I have heard many say that He sends sorrow to prove thee;

may He send sorrow to educate thee,

to train thee for the choir invisible."
Streams in the Desert ~George Matheson~

Emerging from the valley, seeing the Light,
Held by my Saviour, safe by His side.

No place i'd rather be,
nothing else i'd wanna be...

Just there with my Jesus,

Loving it! All the way! =)

Your choice!

In life, we make many choices, and so many times we fail to see that refusing to make a choice, or choosing to procrastinate, is also a choice made, a decision that has consequences.

Your choice...choose wisely

"Stand for something?

or fall for anything?"

I've made my choice, i'm going to stand for Him, EVERYTIME. So, God grant me that courage.

I trust in your strength because i know how weak and frail i am...

"...the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits"

Dan 11:32b (NKJV)

Forgiveness...

Forgiveness...never thought that i would write on this.

The first time i remember needing to forgive, really forgive, it was the most unlikely person...myself. Shortly after accepting Christ in Dec 1996, i realised that i had to break out of the cycle of self-defeat that i was in, and i knew that one of the main obstacles was myself. Why? Because i felt so awful at my past, i disliked the person i was, yet i wanted to hold on to my rebellious streak, and i did not want to be a stodgy christian! And the more God revealed how He wanted ALL of me, the more struggle i had in surrendering and forgiving myself. Yet, each time i was able to forgive myself and trust God to wipe those stains away, Joy unspeakable would spring forth in me, and they would change my tears into smiles...it's amazing how God heals!

That journey of 10 years has brought me up to this point, totally changed, totally different from the person i remember then. But the journey of forgiveness has taken on new meaning also...

In the past year, i've had to learn to actively make the choice of forgiveness over retaliation, bitterness, anger. Never has the testing been so severe, so intense, so painful.

I know that i have a right to be angry, to be bitter, to lash out, yet in my heart...no matter how much it is bleeding, i know that some battles are not mine to begin with. My road is the road of obedience to the King, and being moulded by Him. He will be the righteous Judge, my comfort, my shield, my strong deliverer. His living and active word will be constantly be my answer...

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 The Message

The same message keeps resounding in songs this season...

"everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me
everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a saviour, the hope of nations...""

"so take me as you find me, all my fears and failure, fill my life again,
I give my life to follow, everything i believe in, now i surrender..."

"Oh Lord, you've searched me, you know my way,
even when i've failed you, i know you love me..."

"Yr holy presence surrounding me, in every season, i know you love me..."

"A thousand times i've failed, still your mercy remains...
Should i stumble, still...i'm caught in your grace..."

"In the secret of your presence, i know...there...i am restored"

"In the chaos and confusion, i know, you're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness, you give me grace to do your will..."

After all the that the Lord has done for me, forgiven me for, and set me free from...any sacrifice i can lay down pales in comparison to His. He is the one who FORGIVES, and out of His forgiveness, we're always learning to forgive like Him too. I wish i could be better at this sometimes, but forgiveness isn't easy, that's why a Saviour, my Lord Jesus, had to show us how to do it.

God specialises in God-sized tasks and i have to praise Him for this, even though it has been a storm of epic proportions, i know who my God is, and like in Daniel...it says..."the people who know their God will be strong and do great exploits." So i determine, in any circumstance, any thing that happens, i will know God more in that situation, i will seek Him out, He will be my focus instead of how i feel or what i see...

In Christ i have been forgiven, in the process, i've learnt how to forgive myself, and now...i'm on the road and learning how to forgive as Christ forgave me. Long journey, and painful one...but i gladly surrender my SELF into your hands, Lord Jesus, there is no better place to be!

I forgive...do you choose to be forgiven?

the heartache of God...

Does your heart ache when you see someone hurting and in pain?

Do you feel compassion for the hungry, the lost, those who are searching for more?

Or are you just striving, wanting to attain more, running to fun just to ease the pain?

It hurts me to see people live in compromise, splitting their time and talents trying to please everyone else, and in the end, failing to, thereby offending everyone.

When will we learn that there is only one unchangable in this world?

and NO! it is not Change.

It is Jesus' Love.

That Love that offers us Grace,
His unmerited favour.

Mercy,
Shown when He paid the penalty on that cross,

and displayed everyday that we wilfully turn away...

You're either living for God or you're living for yourself,

Don't lie to yourself, examine your life and see which is it.

When God does business with people,

all you can do is hang on, and try to keep up!

Do not compromise on the things that God places in your hands

Too many of us allow doubt to creep in, to dissuade us from doing what we can.

Soon we blame others, conditions, or our circumstances. Eventually, we blame God.

Focus on a BIG God who can do it!
He has won the Victory for us so we need never be afraid!

If we learn to walk in the victory that He has won,

we can take the battle to the gates of Hell.

We can turn the tide of the battle,

turning the heartache of God into His Rejoicing!

Not by our own strength,

But by leaning on the power of the Holy Spirit.

Misunderstood?

Sometimes, i wonder...why do people love to say they are misunderstood?

But then, reality has hit, and yes, it's so easy to be misunderstood...i see so many misunderstandings that have happened in the past, other people's past and my own past...and the sad thing is that they could have been cleared up by clear communication!

So many times, we just presume, assume or just paint our own scenarios, but isn't it better and more direct to just approach the issue/person and work it through? Why keep going in circles or running away? I seriously do not understand the running away thing...why why why...? If you dun wanna be misunderstood, perhaps the best thing to do is to go and clarify things instead of running? Doesn't that sound logical and feel less burdensome? =)

Well...i'm stating it clearly here, i'm a person who is transparent and honest, i'll much prefer direct and honest communication, i simply love spending time with people so yes, i'll make time for conversations...you must know how important you are to me.

So yes, this is an open call, any misunderstandings you have? you know that i'm here to listen...

MAN! do i sound angsty or what? =) hahaaha! Anyways...this is just a belated rant, and not directed at anyone, but yes, been hearing too much of this misunderstood thing, so yups...youth, friends, people i love, yeah...let's not bear grudges or avoid ppl because of misunderstandings, much better to clear things up! Dun allow discord to creep into your relationships yah?

Anyways...i thank God that this has been a season of prayer, and growing in intimacy. Truly He has been guiding me clearly even in just choosing a place to eat or which path to walk in Holland V! Simple things, but all God-moments when in tune and listening to Him!

Lord, this year, as it begins...i pray for all i love, that you shine your light through us, and bless each person we meet. May each of us determine to set our paths according to the plan you have for us, may you teach us to forsake the things that wound your heart, and turn to the things that are pleasing in your sight. I pray for strength for the journey, healing after the wounds, perseverance during trials, your magnificence over our mediocrity, show us your glory and how your Love truly is a Love that never fails us and never leaves us. Turn our attention to you and how we can nurture this relationship more, so that we Love you more and keep growing this Love that we have. Amen!

Authority from my ransomed Saviour...

Was talking to a dear friend today and it just popped out so evidently to me that true authority and leadership are never by virtue of having a position, rank, or seniority. Anyone basing their identity on that, is bound to be small-minded and oppressive.

The only way to fashion true spiritual authority is through trusting and enduring the flames of the crucible and the hammer blows of the master blacksmith. This has been the hardest, toughest, most painful, literally heart-breaking season of my life...and yet, i see how by enduring through the confusion and releasing my desires back to God, He has been entrusting me with His heart for people more and more...this is something i could never experience fully in the past because i was holding back, because i loved in only one dimension...

But...the talk today (though totally unrelated to this post!) was illuminating! (I kinda make funny connections all the time and they make sense to me, but i still have to form them into coherent thoughts for the sake of others! so they understand me! ahahah!)

Oh well, i may have to think to form the thoughts into words, but God has this way of always speaking very clearly! =)

Samuel Brengle said this about Spiritual Authority and Leadership,

"It is not won by promotion, but by many prayers and tears. It is attained by confession of sin, and much heartsearching and humbling before God; by self-surrender, a courageous sacrifice of every idol, a bold uncomplaining embrace of the cross, and by an eternal, unfaltering looking unto Jesus crucified.

It is not gained by seeking great things for ourselves, but like Paul, by counting those things that are gain to us as loss for Christ. This is a great price, but it must be paid by the leader who would not be merely a nominal but a real spiritual leader of men, a leader whose power is recognised in heaven, on earth and in hell."

If that is what it takes...i thank you Lord for trusting me enough to put me through this furnace.

Yup...experienced so many of the things mentioned above, had to surrender til i became less than nothing, but counting those things that are gain to me as loss...this has led me to glimpse so much more of the Lord that i didn't know before. And i'm thankful to God, despite the pain. just like the Casting Crowns song...I'll praise Him in this storm...and i truly have and will continue to do so, because i know my Father loves me and will never bring harm to me.

Sometimes, even what we see as the best things in our lives become our chains, chains that bind us down and hold us back from where we should be. But that's why God gave his son, Jesus Christ, who paid the ransom, broke those chains, secured our hope, became our shield and our portion...so we trust in just one thing, and once our focus changes and shifts back to Him, then...maybe then, He begins to answer those questions we've always been asking, or maybe...those questions lose their importance...and HE continues to make all things beautiful.

There is such a paradox, that even in suffering, we can have joy! Even in hurt, there can be such concern! Even in pain, there can be unselfish love! How unfathomable are God's ways! How wonderful! No wonder He is the Saviour! =)

Christ is either Lord of all, or He is not Lord at all.

Christ is either Lord of all, or He is not Lord at all.

God certainly took me seriously, so seriously that He sent His son Jesus Christ to die for me, so that i can stand before Him sinless and righteous, because of the cleansing blood shed on the cross.

Sometimes i wonder...do i take him seriously? or seriously enough? if God could send His son for me, why do i whine or long for things that really...are miniscule trifles when compared to knowing Him!

It is rather easy to stay in our cliques, go splash money, enjoy holidays, delight in our gifts, avoid responsibility, enjoy the praise of people, take photographs, listen to what we want to, go where we want to because we can...but at the root of it all...if we really look hard at it, examine our motives, isn't the root of it abit narcissistic, selfish, self-centered? at least most of the time?

Martin Luther said...

"No one understands scripture

unless it is brought home to him,

that is,

unless he experiences it."

I thank you Lord, that through this whole process of refining, i can see it better and understand your word, and your heartbeat a little more...

Lord Jesus, i have just a simple prayer this early morning, be...Lord of all.

Interim post!

haha! Been a long while since i posted! been busy with camps and i dunno when i can properly do an updated post! but yes, i thank and praise the Lord!

Youthphoria Encounter camp was great! Underground church did us a huge favour! Praise the Lord! We learnt so so much more about Worship in all aspects!

Crusade Meta camp - Fantastic! Main thanksgiving? the 64 who accepted Christ! Wow! God is how amazing! =)

not gonna do a long update, but yups...praise the Lord for all these, and i'm gonna end with a quote that so tickled me with it's humour and truth!

"God grant me the serenity to accept people who drive me crazy;

the courage to up and get going,

and the wisdom to know you love the bananas out of me even when i screw things up."

~Hugh Myrrh~

yea...How you love us feeble creatures! what a BIG God we serve! =)

The reason...

I love the reason for the this season! =)
And He has given me so much to be thankful for even in the midst of trouble,
sometimes i just can't help but marvel at His BIGness!

Have started doing my year end reflections and this has been the hardest year EVER to do it...
SO so much has happened that i do not enjoy, and so much of this journey has been bitter sweet.

Right now, i'm glad for this season i'm in...
Broken hearted for the things that break God's heart.
Feeling my heart leap when i encounter a touchpoint...especially in Australia!
Embracing the tears that welled up when Wesley raised his hand,
and the incidents that are similar in nature...seeing God's smile...
Choosing, and choosing and choosing...Faith in Him above all else...
The awesome plans He has allowed me a glimpse of...
Wow...awestruck and i just want to be where you are working right now!

The greatest gift i've gotten? ...
The privilege of learning to care for the things Jesus cares about.

I'm thankful for...
Tenderness of heart that comes...despite....
Being trusted by Him
wounded warriors that serve and are faithful
enjoying the journey in faith
growth

What encourages my heart this season...
People who are open, honest and sincere.

This Christmas and birthday, more than any other, i desire the true fellowship of friends and people who are real, open, honest and sincere. The gifts and the merry making are just wrapping paper hiding the real person, and i want to know the person...not the gift.

So yes, this season, the greatest gift you can give me is to be honest and sincere with me. If a handshake or a greeting is what you can offer. It is a lovely gift already, i thank you for calling me a friend. If you feel compelled to get me something for the sake of IT (the gift) and not for me as a person...then please, in all honesty, i do not require such a present, our friendship is not measured in presents or what you can give me, i extend my friendship without asking anything in return. For those who have put your heart into your gifts, i thank you for sharing a part of yourself with me, calling you friend is a wonder-filled experience. I am a simple man of simple needs, i know i need God and i know i want true friends, and thank you for being one.

Once more please?

My heart...on the way to being broken by the things that break God's heart.

One more into the Kingdom! I've never known such Joy! Thank you Lord for a marvelous few hours, for that wonderful experience of you, for 14 year old Wesley, for your love for him and for me. You truly are the saviour!

SoOOooo many things to be thankful for...gosh!

Praise you Lord!

Farewell Post

The generous man will be prosperous,

And he who waters will himself be watered.

Proverbs 11:25

Thank you Lord!
...for the clip, spent so many weeks but it was worth it, well worth it!

...for my PCG,

...for my SOLEAD class,

...for the little joys

...for the sharings, breakfasts, acts of kindness, and the laughter!

...for late night runs, climbing ropes, flying foxes, balls that can fit humans!

...for the Youthphorians, and those who wanted to surprise me! thanks!

...for all those who mean something to me

...for all those who mean everything and don't know it...

I'll be away to serve the nation, with immediate effect until 1st week Dec...
No handphone, no internet, no TV...

but strangely, it doesn't bother me at all,

it will be a sweet time with God!

To people with papers and exams still,

study well and be good stewards yah?

Poignant Quote

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal."
(From a headstone in Ireland)

I will boast...in the Lord my God!

This is what the LORD says:

"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom

or the strong man boast of his strength

or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:

that he understands and knows me,

that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,

justice and righteousness on earth,

for in these I delight,"

declares the LORD.

Jeremiah 9:23,24

Mmm...taking a break from memorising! yeah...the above is the verse of the moment for me! =)

Understand and know God, tall order? nah...i don't think so...not when His beauty is etched in the sunset, and built into the flowers and trees! Just gotta have eyes that see, and a heart that wants to know, REALLY know God...

The other line that got me pondering..."I am the LORD", reminded me of Amy's class and how she was saying that to the Jews "I AM" was such a wonderful expression of the divinity and completeness of God that no other words needed to be added to it..."I AM" is a standalone phrase that speaks of YHWH...hmm...wonderful...

Follow up to the retreat...

It is amazing how God speaks when we are sincerely seeking Him...=) Had an unexpected blessing when Hung Peng sent out an sms saying that field ministry today was cancelled for us to prepare for checkouts...well...i felt that i could best use the time in God's presence and today was like listening to God part 2!

"This life ought to be spent by us only as a journey towards heaven" ~Jonathan Edwards~

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Hebrews 12:1-3

The whole life of the good christian is a holy longing" ~Augustine~

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Cor 2:9

He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great. Failure is the test of greatness.
~Herman Melville~

All of us experience failure, and no one likes it. But for some people, it becomes a goad to push on to new learning, deeper persistence, more vigorous commitment, more courageous hearts. For others, failure produces utter defeat - a sense of discouragement, a loss of hope, a desire to hide, a secret resolve to never again get out of the boat. ~John Ortberg~

As long as my sense of being valuable and significant is tied to my success, it will be a fragile thing. But when i come to know in the marrow of my bones that i am just as valued and loved by God when i have fallen flat on my face, then i am gripped by a love stronger than success or failure.

Lord, help me to do great things as though they were little since i do them with your power; and little things as though they were great, since i do them in your name. ~Blaise Pascal~

Ok...to compact my learning into action points...
1) Love God more daily
2) This life i have to live is to be lived for His glory and His kingdom
3) Run the race with eyes set on eternity...persevere even in adversity!
4) No running away! Expect God to show up! He will prove Himself!
5) Failure/Success means nothing if i lose my Love for God,
6) My measure will be...do i love God more today?
Can i trust him, inspite of...despite...eventhough...things may not seem ideal in my eyes...

Beyond Calvary...

Retreat Day today...
Pondered more deeply into God's amazing Love

I've recently put up this line in my MSN messenger...
"Jesus bore the pain, because He looked beyond calvary and saw...you and me...*in awestruck wonder...because you first loved me*"

Was just very touched by the words 'He looked beyond calvary..." that i heard in a Parachute band song, and it led me to think on it and imagine that scene on calvary...

Can you imagine? The Lord of the world, supposedly a coming King and glorious in His splendor, willing to come show us the way...bearing the cross, the symbol of shame, the ultimate humiliation of carrying your instrument of torment and knowing that you would die on it. Jesus did it willingly...He bore that shame, that humilation, the pain, the separation from God, the filthiness of sin, even those uncommitted yet...the spotless lamb, dirtying Himself...and for what purpose? As He wallked up the hill to calvary...all a normal man would be able to see would be the cruel guards, the endless taunting, mocking and heckling of the ignorant mob, BUT...Jesus did not see that...

He looked BEYOND calvary! beyond the hill where death lay for him and beyond that dark moment, that momentary pain and that utter hopelessness...He saw eternity...an eternity where He would see that great crowd of witnesses, that great number who know Jesus, and call Him closer than a friend, sharing a divine intimacy for the whole of eternity! He saw a future hope with the heckling crowd transformed, the crowd that very likely contained you and me...

He walked to calvary willingly because of you and me...that final victory scene...Wow...imagining it in my mind totally brought home the impact of His sacrifice!

Thank you Lord for the nails that you took for me, the holes in your hands and feet that would have been mine, you took them willingly so that i would not have to suffer eternal separation from you. Lord, i want to know more of that kind of agape Love. Loving...in spite of...despite...because of...loving because the Love of the Lord that compels us! Lord, you know my heart, you know the innermost depths and recesses even better than me! And Lord, i want to confess that i do not know you enough, but Lord, i want to lay hold of you, to know the majesty and divine mystery of your Love, you've heard my questions and my heart cry for you...i want a desire and love for you that grows daily and conforms me more and more into your image! Grant me more of you Lord...let me be an unblemished mirror that reflects your glory...a vessel, wholly devoted to you, and showing your love and your example in all situations.

Soar On Eagle's Wings

Though youths grow weary and tired,

And vigorous young men stumble badly,

Yet those who wait for the LORD

Will gain new strength;

They will mount up with wings like eagles,

They will run and not get tired,

They will walk and not become weary.

Isaiah 40:30,31

Soaring, Running, Walking...things we'll constantly be doing as long as we live...

Read this insightful piece this morning and decided to blog it to remind myself of this journey of life, this journey that is meant to lived out in faith and which will have stumbles, hiccups and various assorted challenges along with the joys and the laughter! =)

Birds have 3 methods of flight,

1) Flapping - keeping their wings in constant motion to counteract gravity. Hummingbirds do this extremely well, they can flap up to 70 times a SECOND! Flapping keeps you up in the air, but it is alot of work. It gets us from here to there but it is decidedly awkward and clumsy business, and it isn't graceful at all.

2) Gliding - A bird builds up speed, then coasts for awhile. Gravity sets in quickly, and while gliding is nice, it does not go very far or last very long. It is graceful in spurts.

3) Soaring - Only a few birds (like eagles!) are able to do this! Their wings must be strong enough to catch rising currents of warm air, and without flapping their wings at all, they can fly at great speeds (80mph!) and to great heights! They soar on invisible columns of rising air!

As the above article reminded me, soaring is not easy business, we gotta train our wings (build our faith) to be strong enough and soar constantly by the power of the Holy Spirit. Along the way, we'd be flapping along and occasionally experiencing gliding! But! We CAN soar and the Lord WANTS us to Soar! =)

Back to Isaiah

So...in Isaiah, we read about soaring, running and walking.

It is quite an encouragement! When we wait for the Lord...

We can walk (through the drudgery and daily challenges) and not grow weary!

We can run (do work, achieve goals, grow constantly) and not get tired!

We can mount up with wings as eagles! Soaring by the power of the Holy Spirit constantly! Woo!

Ok...that helps to focus my personal retreat alot! =) Thank you Lord! So amazed by you!

SOLEAD BBQ before Yuting left for Oz!

 

Ling Ling's Birthday on Day 1 of summit!

 

Solead Class at Staff Summit

 

Phew...

Okies...after all that work, i gotta take a break!

It's been an interesting first day back to class yesterday after the summit, have quite abit that i've lined up to seek God about next week during personal retreat, so yups...will blog about some of these interesting stuff on my mind!

D.L Moody said that Moses spent

40 years thinking he was somebody

40 years learning he was nobody and

40 years discovering what God can do with a nobody.

Woah...i wanna learn phase 3...

About Complaining

"No talent, no self-denial,

no brains and no character

is required to set up the grumbling business"

The underlying principle between God and His people is LOVE,

Obedience to God's law is a natural by-product of a relationship of Love.

So long as we imagine that it is WE who have to look for God, we must often lose heart. But it is the other way about; He is looking for us. And so we can afford to recognise that very often we are NOT looking for God; far from it, we are in full flight FROM Him, in high rebellion against Him. And He knows it and has taken it into account. He has followed us into our own darkness; there where we thought finally to escape Him, we run straight into His arms. So we do not have to erect a false piety for ourselves, to give us the hope of salvation. Our hope is in His determination to save us, and He will not give in

Simon Tugwell ~prayer~

Sabbath day

Last night, had such a stimulating talk with the supper people! Was just telling them about some of the things i was learning in my course and the stuff i'm becoming clearer about. We got to talking about the Sabbath day, and after ding-donging back and forth, we went to the root of it and it is rather intriguing! =)

Take away all the definitions of work, take away all preconceived ideas and just taking the first instance, the example of God taking the sabbath...we get this...

2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. Genesis 2:2,3

Someone asked..."so...God didn't work on the seventh day, yet He blessed it and made it holy, does it mean the rest of the days were not blessed or holy?"

That's an interesting question isn't it?
God created the earth from scratch, made the oceans and sky, the trees, the animals...everything! God did 6 days worth of miracles! were they not blessed or holy?

All the works of God's hands are fantastic miracles, and yet God reminded us still...on the day that He took a complete rest, that the sabbath is considered blessed and Holy, a special day, a day specifically mentioned and set aside!

That's counter to our culture, we value work, results, being busy, but God is asking us to look from His perspective, and to see why He has blessed the Sabbath. Even after 6 days worth of fantastic miracles, He took the time to rest, to relax, to enjoy creation...He called the sabbath blessed, and Holy!

Interesting isn't it...=) It's not an issue i grappel with, but just thot i would blog this very interesting exchange! I'll give no answers here (you can ask me more if you want), but i'll just say this... to follow the Lord's example is the best way! =)

What keeps you going?

The question that begs an answer...What keeps you going?

For me...the Love of God keeps me going, seeking Him daily, learning to lean on Him, joining Him at work, surrendering and letting go so that i can be fully used by Him. After all, how many years do i have? I'd rather use them for His eternal Kingdom then for anything else!

We are always called to 'someone' before we are called to 'do something'...in my case, i've learnt that it is easy to get waylaid if my focus is wrong. So i have to daily determine to make that 'someone' - Jesus Christ, my Lord and saviour, He who will never fail me.

This summit, poignant questions got asked...like
What keeps you going? What is something i've learnt about myself lately? Who do you love? How do you act because of that love?

What we love determines how we live.

Who we love determines what we do.

Are you a grabber

(Man's way, trying to EARN blessing by DOING good things)

or a receiver

(God's way, surrender what you have, no need to prove your self)

The life of surrender

"...then i no longer have to live in frenzy of activity, overwhelmed and afraid of the missed opportunity..." Henri Nouwen ~3 movements of a spiritual life~

Intimacy with God takes effort...

If intimacy is the goal, then discipline is the means

Distance from God is a frightening thing.

Lord, I place intimacy with you as first in my life...your Lordship has never been as true, or as real as it is now in this season, and yes...it certainly is such a difficult discipline to cultivate, but i truly want to learn how to follow hard after you. I've tasted and i've seen, and your ways are truly best...lead me on, i trust you as i know that your ways are best and will prove itself! AMEN!

SCCC Staff Summit

MMmmm...fruitful summit! Been through many planning sessions with company, work unit, army unit, church and youth, and yes, this planning summit was very good! Saw how through the whole process of defining and focussing the mission, the entire staff of SCCC was engaged and interested. I think that this goes a long way to 'owning' the vision! The process is far more important than the end product as the more people are involved, the more it can be translated into work on the ground level! Encouraged by this whole process!

On a personal note, i liked the morning sessions, so many things i can take home from it!

John 6:1-13
1) Don't see what you don't have
2) Don't doubt what you have! (5 loaves and 2 fishes - Little is much when God is in it!)
3) Surrender what you already have (It is sufficient for the Lord to use!)
4) Know that your God has! (gave thanks, spread the 5 loaves and 2 fishes in faith!)
They had MORE than enough! 12 baskets of leftovers! =) WOO!

Where does your confidence lie?

Family Day was awesome!

MMMM....satisfying weekend! Family Day on Sat was a huge success! Fantastic stuff and i'm glad all the PCG's and co-ordinators managed to pull off a well-run and very smooth program! We covered this program well in prayer, and yes...it was truly God's grace that the Parents who came, and the Youthphorians were blessed!

I loved the games for the parents and the kids to know each other better, i loved the testimonies! Special mention to Tiffany Tan and her sisters, Janelle was really chirpy and funny, great honesty and yes...i could see your mum beaming! haha! =) QL and Benben, yups...you made your mum cry and yes...i think you should invite them to church now! Seize the day! Thanks Minyi, for your heartfelt poem and being so real up there...it showed!

The whole program was a success and it is truly wonderful to be serving with all of you! Guess Rufus' and I had the same sense of..."why were my parents not here..." but yes...i trust that the Lord will work in their lives...i will not give up...slowly but surely...i trust that God WILL work!

Lord, as you honour your name and your people by strengthening the bonds of love in families, i pray that you will also build up those that these lovely families contact too! I totally agree with pastor B that full-time workers, youth workers, PCG leaders are no comparison to the REAL youth workers...Parents who influence their children from birth! And Lord as children are such a blessing and like arrows in a quiver, Lord I pray that their families and their friends will be impacted positively by the Godly example of these faithful children. Make them your shining examples, and do not let anyone look down on them because of their youth!

busy week!

Woo! The week is finally over and i've had time to wind down! =) Yahs...felt amazing to just crash in the GCTC lounge earlier! Had friends around me doing work, but yahs...i just totally crashed cuz of the events of the past week! haha! Unglam...but not like i'm the type to care about appearances! =P

Thank God that i passed the comm drill, one more checkout done, but the most important thing is that i gained knowledge of my WYS in an intimate way. So yes, i thank God for that! I keep reinforcing to myself the fact that i do not need to rush through my checkouts...it is best to gain the knowledge especially about the intricacies so that i can do it well, and yes, i think that attitude has helped me absorb all these materials rather well! This week didn't start as busy as it looked...but then, along the way cuz of comm meetings and handling family day co-ord, plus prayer meeting, things really really got busy! Thank God that i still could prepare for the checkout and remember it well! Really...all by His Grace!

Comm drills this week were fun! yahs...a totally fun time of learning, being stretched, doing all the drills with exaggerated actions...stare at someone for 5 seconds, move towards them (invade their space!), make sure your tone and subtext mean the same thing etc...Woo...totally stretching! It was really good to be stretched and challenged, some was really uncomfortable for me, maybe because i always respect people's personal space so staring and walking towards them was abit unnatural, but yes, it is something i will watch!

My own comm drills were so-so...there was one that i REALLY wanted to stretch myself abit, tell the story of granny, but yahs...decided not to in the end, guess i sorted figured it would have make me too emotional to carry on talking so i kopped out, but yes...it was something on my mind. Oh...and i did see a fantastic drill! haha! nah...not gonna name names or make ppl go red, but yes...it was totally impressive, seeing the preparation to get into role and then the whole gamut of emotions and the exclamation at the end! haha! =) great way to end the comm drills i felt! Felt so accomplished for my classmate, and just felt blessed to have been privy to that moment in living colour! It was really pure joy at watching a great performance! Superbly well done!

Anyways...getting back into the groove of writing and exercising my creative juices despite all the hectic days...and yes, i wanna produce more such works, the more i do it, the better it gets and yes, the better i'll be stewarding this gift that i have! Though of course, the other areas will then have to play catch up...=) haha! good problem to have, not complaining in the least bit!

Lord, thank you for this week, as the Youthphoria Comm catches the vision and the fire for personal discipleship and for multiplying beyond our walls, i pray for your strength and enabling to be upon them. For myself, i wanna live out your call more and more clearly, so yes Lord, speak your heart to me, show me exactly how i should live out my life to glorify your name, these seem to be in the intangibles right now, but i'll be patient and wait on you. I thank you for a SOLEAD class that has been a blessing in the way they shine as lights, i'm so blessed by their hearts for the lost and the commitment they have to you Lord Jesus! Each and every talk with them sharpens me and as you build a generation that seeks your glory alone, may your Holy Spirit come in power and mould the individuals in this SOLEAD class into people who really ARE little Christs, and who move in your enabling!

Declaration!

It's been a long while since my last post, been too busy and hectic to write down all the stuff that has happened! But yes...God is good, daily seeking Him and it is amazing how He works everyday! Truly...God is real, daily, just that sometimes we are not looking out for what He is doing.

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena...who, at best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place will never be with those cold timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

~Theodore Roosevelt~

I never want to be a cold, timid soul, i'll dare greatly, love unconditionally, worship in total abandon, speak Words of Life, not death...everything for the Lord who is my everything!

It's all a process...

Gaining abit more perspective nowadays...

Learning how to truly fall well, learn, do it again, and constantly battle, especially against any fear (especially irrational ones!)

This whole life is a process, a refinement, a moulding, and i want to be moulded by the Master into a masterpiece. Sometimes it may entail pain, sorrow, unpleasant surprises, but the more teachable i am now, the less i will have to undo if God convicts later! Like the army likes to remind me...

Do it once, do it good (it should be...Do it WELL! ahaha!)

Lord, teach me to discern your will and do things according to how you are doing it! Teach me to join you where you are working. I do not want to run ahead of your plans, or linger behind after you have left...teach me to continually follow hard after you! Pressing in to your perfect will!

I pray that you will open the eyes of my heart to discern your will! and Lord, i pray also for the leaders and Youthphoria, lead us and guide us into a ministry used for your kingdom purposes, bind us together with your bonds of love and teach us to be faithful and fruitful.